Why do farmers wear red suspenders?

To keep their pants up.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LiesInRuins
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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Why did the fireman wear red, white, and blue suspenders?

To hold his pants up.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garth177
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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Why does a fire fighter wear YELLOW suspenders?

To keep his pants up.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/benso_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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Why did the suspenders get arrested?

... for holding up the pants! (Duh)

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlondiWanKenobi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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I heard you lost your suspenders...

How you holding up?

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageML
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
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Why did the environmentally-friendly factory require that its workers start wearing suspenders to work?

They wanted to eliminate waist products.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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Did you hear about the award they give out to people who only use suspenders to keep their pants up?

It's called the No-belt Prize.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zamoose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2017
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Did you hear about the physicist who ran the 100 meters wearing only suspenders?

He won the Nobelt Prize.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/X_Irradiance
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2017
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Why did the police officer get suspended?

Beats me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ipooponturtles
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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Post Malone just suspended his tour

Guess that makes him postponed Malone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mmoraxx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
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A man is being taken to the gallows for his execution. The executioner asked if he had any last requests, and he asked for a high five.

The executioner left him hanging.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/themeatspin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Police man suspended for...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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An homage to a one-time teen star suspended from the Muppet*Vision ceiling, Disney World
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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The NBA has suspended the season...

It would be a little hard to play with everyone getting penalties, since people with corona-virus love to travel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShrpStick
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
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SOS! SOS!

A pilot ejected himself from a plane. He was suspended for a week.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Why was the belt arrested?

It held up a pair of pants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedLilSleepy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Does this count?
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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What do you call a pilot who is suspended from his job?

Grounded

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PowerHourSour
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
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US Gymnast Christopher Brooks is suspended
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DulceyDooner
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2016
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My drivers license was suspended... i.reddituploads.com/e33d7…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/donald386
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2016
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Home schooling going well

2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zachmann99
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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If you have a weaving loom which was suspended above the ground, and then you left it to your children when you died...

would you call it an heirloom air-loom?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pittgoose
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2017
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Disney isn't going to die and go out of business even though they completely shut down operations and didn't produce anything for three months.

They just suspended animation.

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πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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I once watched a horror movie about pants.

It was full of suspenders.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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Nerdy dad joke

Attention - due to the current health situation, I am hereby suspending all TCP communication. I will only utilize UDP in order to avoid all handshakes.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darth-noxious
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
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I watched an amazing nature documentary tonight, it was about the American coyote.

In order to catch its prey it constructed a cunning trap of a grand piano suspended above a target, it then baited the trap with seed and lay in wait for a road runner to pass by.

Very interesting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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Bathroom dad joked my eight year old

My three year old daughter needs help wiping her backside after using the bathroom (#2) sometimes. It's that or she might get a rash... oh, the joys of parenting. My eight year old son was in the hallway.

Son: Dad, why do you need to help [daughter] wipe her butt?

Me: Because she does a shitty job.

(Yes, in the interest of the dad joke, I did say shit to my eight year old. He's heard it before.)

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dtsjr
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2014
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A lot of people believe Walt Disney is cryogenically frozen in the basement of CalArts...

I personally love this conspiracy theory because it's a wonderful example of suspended animation.

Credit to the greatest animation professor of all time, Mr. Theo Artz of Drexel University.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HipstersAnonymous
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2018
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Why was the policeman constipated?

Because he was on suspended duty.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drigana
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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I got some bad news yesterday. My ex got hit by a car

and my license got suspended.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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BadBoyBridge

A bridge went to bridge school and did something wrong, he was called into the principals office, the principal then said "you're suspended"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Senior_Artichoke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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The jury found me guilty. I asked the judge what the punishment would be, and he said: "Well..."

Suspended sentence

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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Hear about what happened to the student who tried to hang another student?

He got suspended.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
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It's bad to skip school to go out bungee jumping with your friends...

It'll get you suspended.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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Dad Jokes on Halloween.

My buddy and I (John and Matt) were both dressed up as "Lumberjacks" for Halloween. Typical Flannels, Suspenders, Denim Pants, Wool Hats, and Beards. Our friend's kids come up and say they've never seen Lumberjacks before. We told them we haven't seen any Lumberjacks today, we're "LumberMatt" and "LumberJohn". They didn't enjoy it at much as we did.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kleeh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2014
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Too bad what happened to the new telephone line repairman...

Poor guy got suspended on his first day.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tribunal_Power
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
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At work today I broke the law of gravity

As punishment I was suspended

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cmonkey9876
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2015
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Why do Firemen wear red suspenders?

>!To hold their pants up!<

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gusbmoizoos
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the fireman wear red, white, and blue suspenders?

To hold his pants up.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the fireman wear red, white, and blue suspenders?

To hold his pants up.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the fireman wear red, white, and blue suspenders?

To hold his pants up.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do firemen wear red suspenders?

To hold their pants up.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuietFalls
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
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Why do firefighters wear red white and blue suspenders?

To keep their pants up.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuanInchWonder
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2017
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Why do firemen wear red suspenders?

To keep their pants up.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Superd3n
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2017
🚨︎ report
Why do firemen wear suspenders?

To keep their pants from falling down.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brownie-mix
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2016
🚨︎ report

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