"Your underwear is much too tight and very revealing." I said to my wife.
She said, "Wear your own then, dickhead."
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︎ Dec 07 2020
Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of tight spaces at Christmastime?
He had Santa Claustrophobia.
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︎ Nov 18 2020
My brother and I are on a tight deadline to make Dracula action figures.
I have to make every second Count.
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︎ Oct 27 2020
What do you call a fear of Germans in tight spaces?
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︎ Oct 06 2020
As a single dad money can be tight. But even when Iβm on a date and I know Iβm not attracted to her, I still like to get the door for her and let her walk through. It makes her feel appreciated.
And it makes it easier to slam the door and run so I donβt have to pay for dinner.
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︎ Oct 31 2020
Introducing the new rhyme speaking Green Onion with the super tight back beat! Please welcome the one! The only---
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︎ Sep 26 2020
Sleep tight
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︎ Jan 01 2020
I said to my wife βI hate to tell you this babe, but your bathing suit is too revealing and tightβ
She said βthen wear your own one thenβ
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︎ Jun 28 2020
(I made this one myself) what do you call two men boxing on a tight rope
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︎ Jun 01 2020
As we were getting ready to go to the beach, I reluctantly said to my wife, "I hate to say this honey, but your bikini is kinda tight and revealing." She giggled and said...
"Well then, you'd better wear your own!"
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︎ Jul 09 2020
I have an ugly, tight pair of shorts that I only wear when every other pair is dirty.
Theyβre my last re-shorts!
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︎ Jun 27 2020
Why are tight pants like a cheap hotel?
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︎ Dec 28 2019
What do you call an old lady in a tight spot?
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︎ May 11 2020
Brining pickles makes them last much longer than fresh cucumbers, but packing them in air-tight containersβ¦
That's what really seals the dill.
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︎ Mar 23 2020
I thought really tight shirt would look good on me
But I just couldn't pull them off
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︎ Nov 16 2019
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
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︎ Jun 30 2019
why did the cannibal eat the tight rope walker first thing in the morning?
it's all part of a balanced breakfast.
π︎ 13
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︎ Feb 07 2019
Son, hold on tight to your beer ...
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︎ Jan 15 2019
So I came up with a comic strip about some overweight guy trying to buy some tight pants.
And the publishers told me that " It's a stretch."
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︎ Oct 29 2018
I have tight too diabetes
I've been eating a lot of candy and when I put any clothes on I say "these are tight too!"
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 30 2018
People that hand make wool sweaters are part of a tight knit group.
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 15 2018
Tight leather jackets are hard to pull off.
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︎ Oct 29 2015
I tried wearing tight jeans once
I couldn't pull them off.
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︎ Apr 03 2018
My son just lost a tight race in his primary election after I was physically withheld and denied the right to vote.
Sucks. He would have made a great second grade treasurer.
π︎ 8
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︎ Jun 27 2018
I was doing some research on how to rotate a toilet in a tight space and saw this old man.
https://i.imgur.com/gmTr0p8.png
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︎ Aug 29 2018
Tried to pull a shirt tight on the hanger to iron it without an ironing board.
Tried to pull it tight, but pulled it loose.
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 22 2017
Hold me tight
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︎ Dec 21 2013
"My ring feels tight"
Maybe you ate too much finger food.
Context: Myself, my father and my gilfriend chatting around the fire. My dad made the comment about his wedding right feeling tight in the heat and my girlfriend make the joke. I like her.
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︎ Jun 20 2015
Did you know that all of the seasons are named after a tight coil of metal?
Except for winter, summer and autumn...
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︎ Sep 21 2017
My wife got a ladder in her tights.
She truly is the most talented shopliter ever.
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︎ Sep 29 2017
Tights
So my younger sister is on the phone with a sales person from hot topic. she asked "yeah, and do you have the matching skeleton leggings?"
my dad laughs and replies
"Skeleton?! those are gonna be really tight!"
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︎ Oct 05 2013
Changing my brakes on my jeep with my dad and the lugnuts were on super tight.
My dad goes, "This is a wheel pain in the ass."
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︎ Jun 26 2014
My brother and I make Dracula action figures for a living, and we are on a really tight deadline.
I have to make every second Count.
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︎ Aug 18 2020
My brother and I are on a tight deadline to make a bunch of Dracula action figures.
I have to make every second Count.
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π
︎ May 30 2020
My brother and I are on a tight deadline to make Dracula action figures.
I have to make every second Count.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jul 19 2020
Why did the lion eat the tight rope walker?
He wanted a balanced meal.
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︎ Sep 24 2018
Why did the circus lion eat the tight rope walker?
He needed a balanced meal
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︎ Sep 08 2018
Why did the lion eat the tight rope walker?
He wanted a balanced breakfast
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 28 2018
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