After years of rigorous scientific research, I've finally managed to make an identical clone of myself!

I'm beside myself!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 60
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 24 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call an embarrassed cadaver?

Rigor mortified.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Galvanion
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a dead turtle goes stiff?

Rigor tortoise

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gnosticpopsicle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I was watching my friends in the endgame of a chess match

I told them β€œI hope this doesn’t turn out like Rigor Mortis of an Australian friend.”

β€œWhat?”

β€œI hope this isn’t a stale mate.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pyredox
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
The 3 rings of marriage

I'm going through a bunch of job interviews now. So my Dad was talking to me about the rigors of growing up and eventually getting married.

Dad: "That's all part of growing up, soon you will have to go through the 3 rings of marriage." a smirk grows on his face

Me: "What are those?"

Dad: "Engagement ring, wedding ring, and then suffering."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/smellyjimsock
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.