How to boost resell value of your electronic quickly.

Just needs an Apple logo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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Sometimes you need a little boost
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πŸ‘€︎ u/romantheperogi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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Buhdum tiss
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πŸ‘€︎ u/quinns21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory

You can keep that in mind

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πŸ‘€︎ u/g0t__em
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
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I had to have my wife's child give me a boost to change a lightbulb

He is my step-son

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubeykeebler
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
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After a world-renowned athlete lost an important match, his wife suggested that in the future he wear a pair of her panties in his shoes for good luck to boost his confidence.

He’s been undie-feeted ever since.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beeeeen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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What's the best way to boost your Reddit karma?

Use cReddit Karma

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lobsterbash
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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Cleverly made
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hados1109
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
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A friend of mine said we needed something groundbreaking to sell in our new shop

We now own a shovel shop

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeisalone
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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What is it called when someone farts while walking ahead of someone else?

A booty trap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theimpaler1208
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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A YouTuber who begins to make low effort content to boost a subscriber count then posts to their favorite subreddit:


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πŸ‘€︎ u/RVBmaniac21
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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What did the alien get that boosted up his energy?


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πŸ‘€︎ u/WebWheat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2018
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A friend failed to boost their confidence by making a rock garden.

They just could not grow boulder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doogy650
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2015
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Do you know what they call a tesla if it gets stolen?

An electric boost!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/killerzees
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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My dad told me this at my aunt's funeral to boost my spirits.

What did one casket say to the other casket?

Is that you coffin?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WiBorg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2014
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The student becomes the master...

I noticed my daughters earrings went nicely with her shirt, so like a good confidence-boosting dad would, I told her, "Your earrings match nicely." And she replied, "Yeah, Dad, they come in pairs."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/towneseyes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2014
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The Blitz of Puns

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”

i c e i c e w a t e r

Architecture is an aspiring career path.

β€˜Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.

I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.

Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zmanofdoom95
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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How do fishermen listen to music?

Bass boosted

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πŸ‘€︎ u/30847192
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2017
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My girlfriend wanted waffles but my car battery was dead...

I said we'd have to boost it if we wanted to go out for waffles, and she responded "Well of course we have to jump the car if we want to go to IHOP!"

She's a keeper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WillSmithsBoobs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2016
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Didn't realize it was a Dad Joke until too late...

A little context: I'm driving around in Yellowstone with my dad and my girlfriend. My dad went on a three week cross country ski winter camping trip when he was 17 in Yellowstone. We are currently talking about whether or not it is important to carry bear spray.

Dad: "Did I ever tell you about that time I woke up a bear on my ski trip?"

Me: "What?! No, that's crazy, what happened?"

Dad: "Well, we were skiing through an open field when we hear a rumbling from about 100 yards behind us, and we turn back and there's a huge bear, and he looks at us and starts lumbering in our direction. At the time, I was with this girl who was not a very good skier, but we were pretty sure black bears can't climb trees, so we start hustling towards the woods. So I'm pulling her along and this bear is gaining on us but we get to the closest climbable tree and the bear is still 50 yards back. Like I said, she wasn't a very good skier, or really very coordinated in general, so I help boost her up into the tree and she's up there and she's pretty safe, but this took a minute and a lot of my energy. So now the bear is only about 15 feet away, and I've still got my skis on, and, you know, back then we didn't have fancy cross country skis, we had these big metal cable bindings and leather lace up boots, so I definitely don't have time to get them off. And I'm so exhausted from dragging this girl across the field and then shoving her up into the tree that I've got almost nothing left, and the first branch is about 8 feet off the ground. But this bear is coming at me and there's nothing I can do but jump for it, so I leap and pull myself up and over the branch using everything I've got right as the bear lunges for me and bites into my ski boot. So here I am, doubled over this branch with a bear's jaws on my foot, my skis on, and not one ounce of energy left, and he's really sinking his teeth in and he's really just pulling my leg just like I'm pulling yours!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pipore22
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2014
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Me: Did you like the rocket with the salad?

Dad: Yeah, I thought it gave it a nice boost!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/finpp
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2017
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So my wife said there's a ton of ISO's on Facebook for girl guide cookies.

I said we should post it at a boosted price because they are mint in box.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkOdeon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2017
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This conversation between my (ex)gf.

Long post is long:

Her: Remember dad's tomato bushes? Well they're attacking! At least one is leaning across the path trying to get at my window... We had the war of the roses, now its time for the attack of the tomatoes!

Me: I don't remember anything about tomato bushes. From one battle to the next.

Her: Yep! Lookout tomatoes here comes the chutney recipe!

Me: I can just imagine a cucumber campaign. Operation onion would be next, which will fail, causing everyone to cry. Dill Day follows, a great success for the allied gardeners. All too soon though, the kamikaze carrots set in, utterly ruining the radish raid. The mushroom maneuver is employed, saving the troops, allowing them to deal the final blow in the asparagus assault!

Her: Don't forget the pumpkins want to supply ground cover with heavy support...

Me: Ah yes, the pumpkin paratroopers.

Her: Thyme is running out...

Me: Prepare the beetroot bombs!!!

Her: Aim for Potato Garden!

Me: Fire the capsicum! Deploy the celery team!

Her: Bring in the egg plant division to support the capsicum!

Me: This is it boys, life or dirt! I want a passionfruit unit to find us a vantage point, and the strawberry unit to surround them!

Her: We had better bring the lettuce up to date!

Me: The cabbage are under withering fire, we need support from the raspberry division! The potatoes are mashed, so well need to send the zucchini in their place!

Her: The zucchini can't take that heavy fire, they'll be grated. Send spinach for some extra iron. The sweet potatoes are digging in at the ridge.

Me: Prepare the watermelon bomb, we need to finish this! The eggplant were squashed, deploy the broccoli brigade! The beans need to get out of there, or they'll be split!

Her: Cauliflowers are going in to retrieve the beans. How brave to risk their florets!

The corn commandos are deployed, but the artichokes are all out of heart, we need to boost morale.

Me: The leeks are down! They'll be flattened if we don't do something!

Are the spinach still operational?

Her: Too bad the pepper isn't on our side, they're well seasoned troops.

Spinach is a go!
Nothing has touched it...

Me: But wait! We still have the chillies to give them heavy fire!

Her: And the squashes and peas!

Me: The ginger is holding it's ground, but it's being cut down by the pineapple!

The basil should make things interesting, send them to aid the potatoes.


... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zokoro
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2017
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Want some lotion?

I actually pulled this one off two days ago in history (not even a dad):

Girl next to me: I can't even talk talk to you, just crack me up

Me: Well I can get you some lotion.

It took her a full 2 seconds to get it and started laughing so much, and to boost my ego even more the teacher had heard it and started laughing too, and that's how I got my 5 seconds of fame. I know, not the best but I just wanted to share

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πŸ‘€︎ u/muffinscat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2015
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There's no "I" in team.

I've heard my Pop tell this story so many times, I feel as though it's my duty to share it with this wonderful subreddit.

So, Pops is an air traffic controller. And a few years back, there was an initiative to boost workplace morale and get people to work together as a team.

Needless to say, the whole campaign was the butt of lots of jokes around the sector. Not that teamwork is a bad thing, of course. Just easy fodder for jokes, particularly in a group of middle-aged, dad-joke-loving men.

So one time, Pops is shooting the shit with another controller, and they're giving each other a hard time about one thing or another. And their supervisor walks up; real squirrelly guy who didn't cut it as an actually controller so they made him a supervisor (the FAA is silly that way). And he hears my Pops and the other guy razzing each other, and sticks his head in the sector and says, "Gentlemen, there's no 'I' in 'team'."

And Pops responds, "Yeah, but there's a 'U' in 'stupid'!"

Every time he tells that story, he just loses it. Cracks himself up. Even though I'm sure I've heard him tell it two dozen times.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigafricanhat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2013
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