God bless my Dad
Instead of the typical "last year" jokes after midnight, he completely confused my mom by talking about "last month."
"We brought those over last month."
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︎ Jan 01 2021
I had my pastor bless a bottle of mercury for me.
I love my Christian Heavy Metal.
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︎ Nov 05 2020
What do you call a blessed blanket?
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︎ Nov 20 2020
What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
Forbidden
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︎ Nov 08 2020
What does the pope use to send his blessings?
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︎ Jun 18 2020
Its that time of the year. Blessed
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︎ May 24 2020
I wish him well
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︎ Oct 05 2020
Blessed stand
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︎ May 18 2020
What does the Pope say when he wants to bless a pack of cigarettes?
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︎ Aug 08 2020
Did you know that Africa has had no vampires since 1982?
That's the year that Toto blessed the rains there.
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︎ Dec 25 2020
I hear in Africa they tried an experiment where they blessed the rains
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︎ Jan 08 2020
The owner of the tuxedo store kept hovering over me when I was browsing, so I asked him to leave me alone.
He said, βFine. Suit yourself.β
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︎ Aug 14 2020
I just saw a priest blessing an avocado...
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︎ Jun 18 2020
My wife was a little puzzled when I suddenly bought some new beads for her abacus. Smiling, I said to her...
"Honey, itβs the little things that count!"
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π
︎ Aug 10 2020
blessed_tooth
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︎ Dec 20 2019
Bless you
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︎ Feb 17 2019
God blessed my beans and meat
It's spirit-chilli ready to eat
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︎ May 18 2020
I'm a lactose intolerant and this doesn't explain why I see hell after eating cheese
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︎ Oct 22 2020
What pokemon shoots holy water?
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︎ Dec 19 2020
Papa shit blesses you
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π
︎ Oct 11 2019
blessed_tooth
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︎ Dec 20 2019
Knock knock. Who's there?
Hatch.
Hatch who?
Bless you.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
Me: Just crossed into Oklahoma. Be there soon.
My Dad: I would say OK! but...
(An actual text from my Dad bless him)
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︎ Nov 08 2020
Bless this game
π︎ 8
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︎ Oct 29 2019
blessed_buttons
π︎ 12
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︎ Oct 17 2019
Ha ha ha
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︎ Jun 23 2020
Cheesus Christ
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︎ Aug 24 2020
Did you hear about the pope that wanted to be a ninja?
He was a blessing in disguise
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︎ Sep 21 2020
Toto sponsored a group of zombie missionaries.
They blessed the brains down in Africa
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︎ Oct 28 2020
I was wondering why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa
and then I realized vampires are killed by holy water...they blessed the rains down in Africa
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︎ Oct 09 2020
I blessed the drains down in Africa
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︎ Mar 08 2019
God bless Ameruca
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︎ Apr 22 2019
I want to hear 99 people sing 'Africa' by Toto.
It's something that a hundred men or more could never do...
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︎ Jun 12 2020
What is the most blessed seafood?
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︎ Oct 20 2019
Bless my soul!
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︎ Jan 22 2019
Why are there no Vampire stories that take place in Africa?
I thought about this for awhile, then it hit me that Vampires are weak to holy water. The rains are blessed down in Africa.
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︎ Aug 19 2020
What do you call a nun with a face veil, on a plane.
A blessing in the skys (disguise)
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︎ Sep 21 2020
Donβt scroll without saying shalom
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︎ Aug 31 2019
I always thought it was weird that no one talks about demons in Africa.
Then I remembered-they bless the rains down in Africa.
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︎ Oct 12 2020
Bless you
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︎ Apr 24 2018
How do you call a dead fly?
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︎ Sep 10 2020
What do you call a shoe made of a banana?
π︎ 4k
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︎ Dec 18 2019
Bless me, Father
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︎ Aug 06 2019
What is made of leather, a foot long and sounds like a sneeze?
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Aug 17 2020
So I was wondering why Vampires don't go to Africa
I found out they blessed the rains down in Africa
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Why are the no Vampires in Africa?
The other day I was wondering why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe but none in Africa. Then I remembered holy water kills vampires. They bless the rains down in Africa.
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︎ Nov 06 2020
If a priest blesses an avocado
Would it be a holy guacamole?
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︎ Jun 09 2019
What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
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︎ Mar 03 2020
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