Did you know all swiss cheese is blessed by priests?
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︎ Feb 06 2021
I was given a bag of peanuts that had been blessed by the Pope.
I gave them away...I hate religious nuts.
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︎ Feb 11 2021
What do you call a blessed blanket?
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︎ Nov 20 2020
Its that time of the year. Blessed
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︎ May 24 2020
Blessed stand
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︎ May 18 2020
I hear in Africa they tried an experiment where they blessed the rains
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︎ Jan 08 2020
blessed_tooth
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︎ Dec 20 2019
God blessed my beans and meat
It's spirit-chilli ready to eat
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︎ May 18 2020
blessed_tooth
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︎ Dec 20 2019
blessed_buttons
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︎ Oct 17 2019
I blessed the drains down in Africa
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︎ Mar 08 2019
What is the most blessed seafood?
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︎ Oct 20 2019
Her: I wish the man upstairs blessed you with some brains!
Me: Why the hell is there a man upstairs?
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︎ Jun 27 2018
My wife and I were blessed with twins. And she asked what should we name them. I said Ted. She said, What?
I replied, Ted. Because two Ted's are better than one.
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︎ Jun 03 2018
According to the catholic church, Popeye has blessed sight.
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︎ Mar 12 2017
God bless my Dad
Instead of the typical "last year" jokes after midnight, he completely confused my mom by talking about "last month."
"We brought those over last month."
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︎ Jan 01 2021
I had my pastor bless a bottle of mercury for me.
I love my Christian Heavy Metal.
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︎ Nov 05 2020
What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
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︎ Oct 29 2020
What does the pope use to send his blessings?
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︎ Jun 18 2020
Forbidden
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︎ Nov 08 2020
I wish him well
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︎ Oct 05 2020
Did you know that Africa has had no vampires since 1982?
That's the year that Toto blessed the rains there.
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︎ Dec 25 2020
What does the Pope say when he wants to bless a pack of cigarettes?
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︎ Aug 08 2020
I just saw a priest blessing an avocado...
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︎ Jun 18 2020
The owner of the tuxedo store kept hovering over me when I was browsing, so I asked him to leave me alone.
He said, βFine. Suit yourself.β
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︎ Aug 14 2020
My wife was a little puzzled when I suddenly bought some new beads for her abacus. Smiling, I said to her...
"Honey, itβs the little things that count!"
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︎ Aug 10 2020
Bless you
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︎ Feb 17 2019
Knock knock
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Bless you.
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︎ Feb 06 2021
I'm a lactose intolerant and this doesn't explain why I see hell after eating cheese
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︎ Oct 22 2020
Papa shit blesses you
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︎ Oct 11 2019
Cheesus Christ
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︎ Aug 24 2020
What pokemon shoots holy water?
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︎ Dec 19 2020
Bless this game
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︎ Oct 29 2019
Ha ha ha
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︎ Jun 23 2020
Toto sponsored a group of zombie missionaries.
They blessed the brains down in Africa
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︎ Oct 28 2020
I was wondering why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa
and then I realized vampires are killed by holy water...they blessed the rains down in Africa
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︎ Oct 09 2020
Me: Just crossed into Oklahoma. Be there soon.
My Dad: I would say OK! but...
(An actual text from my Dad bless him)
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︎ Nov 08 2020
God bless Ameruca
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︎ Apr 22 2019
Did you hear about the pope that wanted to be a ninja?
He was a blessing in disguise
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︎ Sep 21 2020
Why are there no Vampire stories that take place in Africa?
I thought about this for awhile, then it hit me that Vampires are weak to holy water. The rains are blessed down in Africa.
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︎ Aug 19 2020
Bless my soul!
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︎ Jan 22 2019
Bless you
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︎ Apr 24 2018
Donβt scroll without saying shalom
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︎ Aug 31 2019
I want to hear 99 people sing 'Africa' by Toto.
It's something that a hundred men or more could never do...
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︎ Jun 12 2020
Bless me, Father
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︎ Aug 06 2019
What do you call a shoe made of a banana?
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︎ Dec 18 2019
What do you call a nun with a face veil, on a plane.
A blessing in the skys (disguise)
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︎ Sep 21 2020
I tried to bless the rains down in Africa...
It was a Toto failure.
π€¦π»ββοΈ
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︎ Jan 13 2021
What is made of leather, a foot long and sounds like a sneeze?
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︎ Aug 17 2020
Knock knock. Who's there?
Hatch.
Hatch who?
Bless you.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
So I was wondering why Vampires don't go to Africa
I found out they blessed the rains down in Africa
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︎ Nov 19 2020
If a priest blesses an avocado
Would it be a holy guacamole?
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︎ Jun 09 2019
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