Thank God that nipples exist.

Because without them, boobs would be pointless.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JY200115
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I need an adult, pls & thank u
πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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β€œThanks dad”
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScoopSnuffelaar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I failed my medical school entrance exam last week, thanks to nerves.

The correct answer was blood vessels.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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Thank you for getting me through college, student loan providers.

I don't think I can ever repay you.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Just a quick Thank you!

I've been sharing the Dad Jokes from here that pop up in my suggestion line. My Dad and I work together, so we're both off for the School break. Half the time he rolls his eyes and the other half he chuckles. So, thank you, Dad Jokers, for making my Dad chuckle in whatever this strange year has been!

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beauknits
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
"Thanks for the gold, kind stranger"

I said as I was taking away his dental implant.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Sorry this isn’t really a joke but I wanted to say thanks

I just wanted to thank everyone here. My mom has been in the hospital with the virus and being able to send her jokes from here has made her laugh (we both really like puns!) so I just wanted to thank y’all for the fun jokes you post. I know it doesn’t seem like much but it has been very nice to be able to share them with her!

Edit: thank you so much for the awards and well wishes! I 100% did not expect this to blow up like it did and I’m so glad for y’all’s support!!

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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Thanks man
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumboooo_
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the best way to give thanks?

To present it

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sonnysoncere
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Thanks, Bonnie Tyler
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jfixthemasterofm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Thank you

This isn't a dad joke. This is a thank you to everyone on this subreddit. 6 weeks ago the love of my life broke things off with me due to factors attributed to my mental health (which i didn't tell her about because she is struggling with uni and i didn't want her to worry) and I've been having an extremely difficult time coming to terms with it. She's falling for another guy while I've been self destructing to the point where she never wants to talk to me again. But i found this subreddit today, the jokes are so stupid and funny that for the first time since before the breakup, I've laughed and it was genuine. Thank you so much for your stupid jokes. You've saved my life as far as I'm concerned. I still have a long way to to, but this subreddit is definitely going to get me through it. Thank you πŸ’–

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xcixjames
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I’d like to thank Merriam-Webster for teaching me the meaning of the word β€œplethora”.

It really means a lot.

πŸ‘︎ 153
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmhollifield
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I would like to thank my dad for teaching me the word "apportion".

It means allot.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timtip
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
thanks for the tip
πŸ‘︎ 214
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattloKei
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that Stalin never said thank you throughout his whole life

That’s because he didn’t speak English

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tidiestbadger72
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I'd like to thank my legs

For supporting me. My arms, for always being by my side. And my fingers, I could always count on them.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adventure84
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What does the father whale say to his daughter after she thanks him for being such a good dad.

You're Whale cum

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LemmeBuildThat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I was checking out at the grocery store today and the bagger was holding my stuff over the shopping cart and asked: β€œsir, would you like to go out with the cart?”. To which I replied β€œoh, no thanks I’m actually married”. My poor son looked mortified. Dad joke status ACHIEVED.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaFunkJunkie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I would like to personally thank this sub.

Every morning when I email my team their daily tasks, I include a joke from this sub. and I appreciate you all so I can try to make everyone laugh a little before rough work at a hospital. So thanks dads!

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyndlandwickett
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
When I bought my friend an elephant for their room, they said thank you. I answered...

β€œDon’t mention it.”

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Thanks for telling me the definition of plethora

It means a lot

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Thanks to whoever left some goodies hanging all through my morning walk today..
πŸ‘︎ 104
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πŸ‘€︎ u/herecomesthesonny
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
The alphabet is terrifying. A bee sea? No thanks I’m good.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sadchowmrade
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I want to give a special thanks to...

My hands for always staying by my side

My legs for helping me stand up

And my fingers because I could always count on them

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
(with thanks for encouragement from u/sherbert_suspicious): I built a little model sports car car for my snail, and called it an S-car for Snail.

Every where he drove it, people shouted "Look at that S-Car go!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Hey everyone, thanks for keeping this community awesome, but due to several reasons, I've decided to stop making dad jokes, here's why

Why

πŸ‘︎ 396
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vinayjrao
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a dog say thank you?

It rubs its butt on the grass. That way it's a grassy ass.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timeforclock
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Thanks to Corona this store is now ...
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darlosworld
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Thanks for patient.
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yadavsandip32
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Thanks to my toes for stabilizing me
πŸ‘︎ 222
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phalanxer17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Thanks
πŸ‘︎ 482
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a Japanese frog say thanks?

Arigatoad

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ofek_dab
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Oh thank you that’s delicious
πŸ‘︎ 145
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jrum7000
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Thanks to our mutual dislike of newspaper puzzles, my wife and I have enjoyed a long and happy marriage. Thirty years and...

...never a crossword...

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
We should all thank Bill Gates during Covid-19...

Imagine how boring quarantine would be if he hadn't invented Windows.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BBQ_Cake
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Thank you God for providing me and my family with these instant noodles for supper.

Ramen.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiscoPotato69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Thanks crane.
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puggzu
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Please accept my Heart Felt thanks.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrShaunce
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Thanks, pops.

https://preview.redd.it/ya305u7eczz41.jpg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1574126af1c2bf6fd5d897de380d5226a22f1a93

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alohoamora
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
So i made this during the 2014 world cup, and thank God Germany won
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/illumi_nazi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender β€œI’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. β€œSure thing” the bartender replies and asks β€œbut what’s with the big pause?

”

The panda holds up his hands and says β€œI was born with them”

πŸ‘︎ 427
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
We should thank heaven for nipples.

Without them boobs would be pointless.

πŸ‘︎ 355
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Thank god for nipples!

Otherwise boobies would be pointless

πŸ‘︎ 134
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tartar-buildup
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report

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