Dating between carbon descendants
What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
The difference between a numerator and a denominator is a short line.
Only a fraction of people will understand this
What is the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
What is the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac? A comma. A literalist takes everything literally. A kleptomaniac takes everything, literally.
A comma.
A literalist takes everything literally. A kleptomaniac takes everything, literally.
What's the difference between a peeping tom and somebody getting out of a bath?
One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.
25 emails between me (film producer) and Jason (my props master) over the course of making my film RUN (on Hulu now!)
Whats the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The best way to tell the difference between an Indian and an African elephant is
that one of them is an elephant.
What do you call a woman standing between 2 goal posts?
What's the difference between snow-men and snow-women?
What's the difference between Snowmen and Snowwomen?
What is the difference between Hindu Swastika and Nazi Swastika?
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy the other is a little lighter
Why can’t Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best mate?
Whats the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
What’s the difference between snowmen and snow women?
What’s the difference between a dirty bus depot and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
I’ll see myself out...
What’s the difference between a giraffe and a jcb??
One has hydraulics the other has high boll****
What’s the difference between a well dressed man and a tired out dog?
One wears a suit and the other just pants.
Do you know the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?
What's the difference between the law and an ice cube?
One is justice and the other is just ice.
What’s the difference between a candle and a skinny horseman?
One is a night light, and the other is a light knight.
What's the difference between karate and judo?
Karate is a method of self defense, while judo is what bagels are made from.
Natives of the African jungle, when avoiding predators, call the distance between you and a lion a ‘wimb’
Because the lion in the jungle is always a wimb away.
What's the difference between a white penguin and a black penguin?
A white penguin is coming towards you, while a black penguin is walking away from you.
From my 8yr old: What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
You can roast beef, but you can’t pee soup!
Wife (serious question): What is the difference between a date and a prune?
Me: one you get lucky and the other you don't.
She was mad enough to leave the room...
Whats the difference between snowman and snowladies???
What's the difference between Satan and Santa?
What is the difference between an art installation and performance art?
Crap on your neighbors doorstep then ring the doorbell - that's an art installation.
Ring the doorbell THEN crap on his doorstep - that's performance art.
What’s the difference between a hot dog and a pit bull?
A pit bull bites the hand that feeds it, while a hot dog feeds the hand that bites it.
What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
I wouldn’t pay $50 to let a lentil on my face.
What is the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts
Beer nuts are a $1:37. Deer nuts are under a buck.
why did the forest ranger never put their tent between fires
because if they did the tents would be in a across fire
What is the best way to observe the two planets between Jupiter and Neptune?
What's the difference between the government and the mafia?
The mafia can turn a profit!
What is a difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
What’s the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I’ve never had a garbanzo bean on my face.
What is the difference between a guitar , a Tuna and a pot of glue?
You can tun(a) guitar but cannot guitar a tuna
mushroom pun but i need approval because it’s 3AM and i can’t tell the difference between fungus and fungi
why was the mushroom worker so fun to be around?
because he was a fungi
What's the difference between a camera and a sock ?
One takes 5 toes and the other takes 1 less.
What’s the difference between me and the family dog?
The dogs allowed to walk naked around the house
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
A hippo is heavier while a zippo is lighter.
How can you tell the difference between an Indian and an African elephant?
One of them is an elephant
What is the difference between an old bus station and a crab with a boob job?
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean
What’s the difference between snowmen and snow women?
What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a badly dressed man on a bicycle?
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is heavy, and the other is a little lighter ✨
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