So I started dating an OBGYN that said her job was more dangerous than mine.

So I asked what her riskiest encounter was. She said she did not know, but she learned early to give mothers with fat babies a wide berth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/numberthu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Once a year I celebrate getting a sleeping place all to myself.

It's my berth day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/13toycar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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When dad took the family to Florida, we finally got to see the place his boat was docked as a child...

It was good to see dad's berth place.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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They say you should steer clear of a hippopotamus in labor...

A wide berth for a wide birth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/respectively288
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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My friend sailed his yacht into the wharf very rapidly, crashing into the dock and causing a dent in the hull...

It's just a berth mark, he swears.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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Driving along a country road with my daughter today...

When we had to overtake a horse. I did what your supposed to, slowed right down and gave them a wide berth. As we passed, my daughter noted that she didn't even smile or wave thanks at us. So I said, "Yeah, look at her on her high horse"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fox2319
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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Did you hear about the helmsman who crashed his boat at the dock?

He had an accident at berth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsthearistocrat
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2018
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I told my friend I had sleeping compartments installed on my bus exactly 1 year ago today.

He said, "happy berth-day!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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When did the ship come home to party?

On its berth day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2017
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They say you should steer clear of a hippopotamus in labor...

A wide berth for a wide birth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/respectively288
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
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