Are oranges born to be juiced?

... Or will they only do it when they are under pressure?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/forstuvetankel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Nurses in the maternity ward don’t want babies to be in shock by the temperature change when they’re born.

So they make sure it’s set at womb temperature.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ggfchl
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A baby born now, in 2033, will be a...

Quaran-teen

Source: My local mechanic, bless his heart

http://imgur.com/gallery/XYWedTN

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LoneBullseye
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
An alternative... was that A'Tuin was crawling from the Birthplace to the Time of Mating. When they arrived they would briefly and passionately mate, for the first and only time, and from that fiery union new turtles would be born to carry a new pattern of worlds.

This was known as the Big Bang hypothesis.

Joke by Terry Pratchett, β€˜The Colour of Magic’, Prologue.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WatashiStickKid
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Born to be an anesthesiologist.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Eventually everyone will be quarantined to their homes without sports and in 9 months babies will be born.

They will be known as the Coronials

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vapingpigeon94
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
🚨︎ report
In a couple of years, kid born now will be called...

... quaranteen

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why will the kids born 9 months from now be so creepy?

Because they will be The Children of the Quarn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SarcasticaFont
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
All the babies at the hospital wanted to be paid for being born.

So they joined a labor union.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What animal is not born yet but can also be an adult at the same time

Womb bat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ol-CAt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
9 months from now babies will be born.

They will be conceived through Irma-culate conception.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oacma
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2017
🚨︎ report
I'd like my first born child to be mail

I'll keep you posted on the outcome

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
🚨︎ report
I've always wanted to be born in the age I could become a Gregorian monk

But I guess I'll never have the chants

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Can a man be French if he wasn't born on the mainland?

Corsican.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamez24
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I didn't ask to be born.

I was thrust into it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhisperTickles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
If Elon Musk were born in soviet union, what's his company name would be?

Teslav

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daftmaple
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2018
🚨︎ report
"Microcephaly can be diagnosed during pregnancy or after the baby is born." ~ CDC

Well, duh, that's a no-brainer ( sorry to all those that took offense )

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πŸ‘€︎ u/allfluffnostatic
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2016
🚨︎ report
Need some banger dad jokes for my soon to be born daughter

So I'm due to be a dad in the next week or so, and I have been putting off learning some good dad jokes and I'd like to have some prepared for the foreseeable future since I need these til I pass on or go senile. But that's in Africa so I don't think I'll ever senile. (1st attempt?)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jakanato
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2017
🚨︎ report

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