Bank Robber Puns

Because of the copper in the wires.

In&Out

Con joined twins

He died recently surrounded by his family.

You know the drill. AK47s, skimasks, the works. Anyway, they tell everybody to lie down on the floor. All the people in the bank hits the floor but this old man. He is still standing. So, the robbers tells him, not very politely i might add, to lie down on the floor.
Old man: "Nope. Not gonna happen. I'm CIA"
Robbers: "We don't give a shit, get on the floor NOW!"
Old man: "Nope. I'm CIA."
Old mans wife: "Walt, for Gods sake. You're not CIA, you're senile!"

Teller:
Bank Robber: I SAID WHERE'S THE SAFE?
Teller:
Bank Robber: ANSWER ME!
Penn: He always does this

Where it's safe

She nickel and dimed him to death.

"Baguette"

So I told him to cut to the chase

Masking tape.

They're the best at wiping down the equipment

Probably should've realised it was a bad sign

That's criminal in tent.

" all right you mother stickers this is a fuck up!"

edit: my dad tells this joke when ever he can.

My dad was reading the paper after we had finished eating dinner, and said this after reading an excerpt

Dad: "Well, it shouldn't be too hard find a guy with no arms"