My wife told me she would bang my head off the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.

I don't believe heryhhxfukklo8764eh89kg4ghi9hde3yhoonib7v6c5x4xv9n8vx4&6c79b9n

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theskyguyuk
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, β€œWhat happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry. There is no Time.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
What goes clip-clop bang, clip-clop bang?

An Amish drive by

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JRAM1991
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
The Trump Presidency didn't end with a bang...

...but with a WI/MI/PA!

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate it when people bang on about their phobias.

I have a terrible fear of heights, but you won't find me shouting about it from the rooftops.

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend said he wanted to bang his mom and kill his dad.

I told him that was some freudulent thinking.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad told me that when he dies, he wants his ashes to be made into fireworks so he can go out with a bang.

I said, "Ok, boomer."

πŸ‘︎ 212
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/misterrandom1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What goes clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, BANG, BANG, BANG?

An Amish drive by shooting.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My depressive daughter said she "wants to go out with a bang"

I got her to a hair stylist,but im not approving of this relationship.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ferkeshu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
The term "getting the most bang for your buck" can be applied in a gun store and with a hooker
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AliciaTries
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
They went out with a bang
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/machupichu189
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What goes "clip-clop-clip-clop-bang?"

An Amish drive-by.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
If you don't think The Big Bang Theory is funny, make sure to buy the dvd and watch the extras.

Everyone knows the real jokes are always in the commentary.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
🚨︎ report
The people who actually show up to the Area 51 raid are really gonna go out with a bang.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kadedubson30
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report
This sub makes me bang my head against a wall
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know why some people bang on the side of the ketchup bottle while others bang on the bottom of the ketchup bottle?

Me: No. Why?

Him: To get the ketchup out.

Told to me by my grandfather-in-law as I was banging on the side of the ketchup bottle.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/roonerspize
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2015
🚨︎ report
I told my boyfriend that I got an expensive haircut, but they left my bangs too long.

He replied, "too much bang for your buck?"

πŸ‘︎ 922
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/allsymbols
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2016
🚨︎ report
This is bang out of order

A G N B

πŸ‘︎ 238
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FishcakeWoodSpy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2017
🚨︎ report
"The Big Bang Theory" is getting a Facebook-based game!

It's developed by Zynga.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jiguryo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
2 fish are swimming and the bang into a wall.

One fish turns to another and says:

Dam!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What does a fish say when it bangs into a wall?

Oh Dam....

My sisters and I were shook by the amount of thought Papa put into this joke!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aabhusha
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of friends with bangs ?

A gang bang

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Btitty6969
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
🚨︎ report
My 2 year old is watching Chitty Chitty bang bang for the second day in a row...

The MGM lion is doing his thing at the beginning and she says "oooh that's a scary tiger"

I quickly retorted, "that's a lion you know it!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2018
🚨︎ report
If you turn 18 this month, your parents brought in the new millennium with a bang. reddit.com/r/Showerthough…
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ashasash
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Cheap prostitutes offer more bang for your buck.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xenonpulse
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2014
🚨︎ report
Well this is just bang out of order isn't it?

https://imgur.com/m6v7sUP

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BadBoyJH
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2016
🚨︎ report
What came before the big bang?

The big foreplay

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JaeqPiegDeivys
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2014
🚨︎ report
"Could I pull off bangs?"

"Yeah, but it would hurt."

Tumblr source: http://cashcutie.tumblr.com/post/80936111716/cashcutie-tearn-aqua-cashcutie-could-i

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OliverWDahl
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2014
🚨︎ report
Trump is going out, not with a bang, but...

with a WI/MI/PA.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yazars
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, β€œWhat happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry. No Time.”

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, β€œWhat exactly happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry. No time.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, β€œWhat happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry. No time.”

πŸ‘︎ 383
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
🚨︎ report
When the physics lecture ended, I asked my professor, β€œWhat happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry. No time.”

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, β€œWhat happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry. No time.”

πŸ‘︎ 91
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
After the lecture was over, I asked my physics professor, β€œWhat happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry. No time.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
At the end of the class, I asked my physics professor, β€œWould you tell me what happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry I can’t. There’s no Time.”

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What goes clop clop, bang bang, clop clop clop?

An Amish Drive-by shooting.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/astronautic
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.