What kind of music frightens balloons?
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︎ Aug 09 2020
What type of music do balloons hate?
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︎ Jul 08 2020
Do you know why the cost of balloons is going up?
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︎ Jun 25 2020
I forgot all about the balloon I attached to the water hose outside!
Edit: oh wow, this blew up!
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︎ Jul 07 2020
I needed hot air balloon pilots for an event. I could either hire or use prison labor.
Dad told me I should weigh the pros and cons first.
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︎ Jul 16 2020
Why are balloons so expensive?
The prices keep going up due to inflation
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︎ Jun 13 2020
I was arrested yesterday for stealing helium balloons,
The police held me for a while then let me go.
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︎ May 19 2020
What do you call the tv show where hot air balloons are attached to peoples cars
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︎ May 04 2020
Neighbours outside just had a reveal party. From all the hooting and hollering after the balloon pop...
I can report that they are having an owl
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︎ Jun 14 2020
The comments on the post of a video where a man who flew from Emirates (using hot air balloons) and was found in Oman in a critical condition. I doubt if that video Israel..
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︎ Feb 29 2020
The comments on the post of a video where a man who flew from Emirates (using hot air balloons) and was found in Oman in a critical condition. I doubt if that video Israel..
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︎ Feb 29 2020
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she will let it go.
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︎ May 05 2020
Daughter had a balloon with a penny in it.
So, for Easter, my wife and I got our 2-year-old an array of balloons from a delivery service, including some pre-inflated pieces you could βbuild your own butterflyβ with, etc. It was pretty cool, but coolest of all was this clear balloon pretty tightly inflated with a single penny in it, and if you shook the balloon enough, the penny would eventually find its way to circling the inside of the balloon.
Those balloons lasted for weeks, until today. If youβve ever seen a clear balloon deflate, you know it gets a little yellow and opaque.
My wife found it laying around and brought it to me, saying, βThis looks like a condom with a penny in it.β And I said, βThatβs why they call it a money shot.β
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︎ Apr 27 2020
What kind of music does a balloon liseten to?
Pop!
^Also ^this ^is ^my ^first ^joke, ^so ^sorry ^if ^someone ^has ^made ^it ^before ^but ^I ^haven't ^seen ^it ^(yet)
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︎ Nov 29 2019
How did Pixar decide on a name for the movie about an elderly man who attached balloons to his house?
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︎ Mar 03 2020
Why do balloons filled with helium cost more than balloons sold in packages?
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︎ Dec 19 2019
Why don't balloons do drugs.
If they get to high they'll get busted
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︎ Nov 10 2019
Did you know that the first ever balloons were made out of animal intestines and organs?
That means the first balloons weren't balloon animals, but ballooned animals.
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︎ Jan 17 2020
Why canβt you give Elsa a balloon
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︎ Jan 24 2020
Why does the price of balloons keep going up?
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︎ Mar 02 2020
I covered a balloon in peanut butter, but it couldn't fly, it just went straight down. Then I covered a balloon in jelly, but that one couldn't fly either.
It went down like a Pb balloon.
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︎ Jan 28 2020
The only thing I got for my wife on her birthday was a big helium balloon.
It didnβt go down very well.
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︎ Sep 30 2019
What kind of music do balloons hate?
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︎ Dec 16 2019
Never trust advice from a balloon.
Theyβre just full of hot air.
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︎ Dec 16 2019
So I walked past a store in my hometown that sells only balloons
...and I thought to myself "what clowns are keeping this business afloat?"
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︎ Nov 27 2019
I wanted to be a hot air balloon pilot
But that career never really got off the ground
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︎ Dec 03 2019
I dont make jokes about balloons
They tend to get carried away
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︎ Oct 11 2019
Why canβt Elsa hold a balloon?
Because sheβll let it go
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︎ Nov 23 2019
My young son βsaidβ he made dinner today. He brought me a banana like balloon on a hot dog bun. Confused I said βummmm.. thank you .. but...whatβs this??β
He said itβs a Halloweenie!
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︎ Oct 31 2019
Some people say filling balloon animals with helium is wrong.
But whatever floats your goat.
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︎ Aug 03 2019
What did the scientist say when he popped two helium balloons?
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︎ Jul 02 2019
Havenβt seen this on here yet, so to to keep the Elsa theme going...Why donβt you give Elsa a balloon?
Because sheβll let it go.
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︎ Oct 08 2019
I've got a friend who works with helium balloons.
They speak very highly of everyone.
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︎ Sep 06 2019
What music are balloons scared of?
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︎ Aug 27 2019
Pixar is releasing a sequel to Up, where the old man gets on a balloon and annoys people.
Itβs called Up 2: No good.
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︎ Aug 24 2019
Big ass balloon
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︎ Apr 03 2019
What kind of music are balloons afraid of?
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︎ Jul 19 2019
Apparently the cost of balloons is rising
Well, that's inflation for ya
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︎ Jun 06 2019
My friend decided to propose to his online girlfriend using balloons. But then they finally met.
He immediately popped the question.
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︎ Jul 19 2019
Wanna hear a joke about balloons?
Oops, it just got away from me!
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︎ Aug 24 2019
The hot air balloon driver is refusing to come down, and the cops are still trying to figure out why.
Everything is still up in the air.
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︎ Jun 14 2019
I hear balloon prices are up
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︎ Nov 27 2018
From my niece "Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?"
"Because she will just let it go." Ive had the biggest smile all day!!!!
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︎ Feb 17 2019
Why did the balloon go near the needle?
He wanted to be a pop star.
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︎ Feb 02 2019
Whatβs the type of music a balloon hates?
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︎ May 20 2019
What did helium say to the balloon?
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︎ Oct 14 2018
My balloon popped. Can I get reimburst?
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︎ May 19 2019
Every balloon store i go to tells me that my balloons are just going to fly away and iβm sick of it!
I just want a regular balloon, no strings attached!
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︎ May 24 2019
What is the least favorite music of balloons
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︎ Feb 14 2019
How might one feel after popping a balloon that had been rubbing against their hair?
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︎ Jan 17 2019
The price of balloons is going up
Experts say it is due to inflation
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︎ Jan 08 2019
Please donβt post another video of balloons
Iβve seen them blow op multible times
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︎ Apr 03 2019
My friend just found work at a balloon company.
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︎ Aug 13 2018
Why did the balloon factory worker fire their employee?
Because he kept letting them down...
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︎ Jan 26 2019
What did a balloon said to another balloon?
Be careful with the cactussssssssssssss
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︎ Jan 04 2019
Did you hear about the balloon party?
They wanted Britney to play but they were afraid of the pop music
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︎ Mar 06 2019
My wife is pissed that I got her a helium balloon for her birthday.
It didnβt go down very well.
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︎ Jan 09 2019
A hot air balloon company went out of business
Because high inflation rates
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︎ Jun 20 2018
Why do clowns always have such long balloons?
Because they always get the kids to blow them.
(Iβm sorry)
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︎ Jun 24 2018
A family of balloons
Here's a joke my dad told me. Sorry if you've heard it, but I found it hilarious, and I think you might enjoy it.
In a small town in the suburbs, there was a small family of balloons. There was a mummy balloon, a daddy balloon, and a small child balloon. Every night the boy would sleep between his parents, but his father had had enough.
"son, I know you love sleeping between us, but you're getting a bit too old for it., " the father said. "You're nearly 8, you're a big boy, and your mother and I think you should sleep in your own bed from now on. You can stay tonight but starting tomorrow we want you in your own bed. Do you understand?"
"Yeah dad, I understand..." the boy said with a maudlin tinge to his voice.
"okay son, I love you."
"love you too dad"
The next night the boy tried sleeping in his own bed, but there was a storm outside. It was a dark, ominous storm - the kind of storm that sounds like a cataclysm for the end of the world.
The boy was scared, so he went to sleep
...
keep reading on reddit β‘
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︎ Oct 06 2018
Two balloons are floating through the air. One balloon says to the other, βwatch out for that cactus!β
The other balloon says, βwhat cactusssssssssssssssssssssssssssssβ
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︎ Aug 28 2018
I wrote βWould you marry me?β on a balloon to propose to my girlfriend.
Then I started getting cold feet, and popped the question.
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︎ Oct 22 2018
Why were the prices of the balloons more expensive than last time?
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︎ Dec 13 2018
I went to a town made of balloons and got stuck.
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︎ Nov 16 2018
What is a balloonβs favorite drug?
Helium, because it gets them high.
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︎ Oct 31 2018
Two balloons are flying across the desert
When suddenly one shouts: "It's a cactus-s-s-s"
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︎ Dec 08 2017
What was the last thing the balloon said to his father?
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︎ Mar 08 2018
Iβve been trying to start a hot air balloon business
I just canβt seem to get it off the ground
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︎ Aug 04 2018
What do you call a Dad balloon that disappears?
Pops!
(Dad themed dad joke)
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︎ Jul 15 2018
My mate lives in a hot air balloon.
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︎ Aug 03 2018
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she'll let it go!
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︎ Apr 20 2018
So it's my boys birthday and my wife reminds me to blow up some balloons ..
Minds gets to pondering next minute I say to her "the balloons seem to be wounded... should I helium?"
I'm certain the groan could be heard from blocks away!
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︎ May 29 2018
What is the musical equivalent of a lead balloon?
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︎ Apr 29 2018
A daughter is dressed in a grape vine suit where the grapes are made of balloons for Halloween...
The dad says, βI bet if you pop one of those balloons sheβll let out a little wine.β
His wife just rolled her eyes and went back to watching her daughter, while the dad laughed to himself.
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︎ Jun 06 2018
Why did the balloon prices rise?
Inflation
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Also serious economic issues in the United States which will hopefully be addressed soon.
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︎ Jan 22 2018
Balloon in a tree
Brother: Is that a "Frozen" balloon up in that tree?
Me: Looks like it...some kid must have accidentally "Let it go."
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︎ Feb 25 2016
In 1998 a balloon cost 2 pence. Today a balloon filled with air will cost you 10 pence.
That's inflation for you.
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︎ Feb 16 2018
2 balloons are floating in the desert
one says to the other, - Careful, there is a cactusssssssssssssssssssssssssss
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︎ Sep 21 2017
balloon guy dad [x-post from /r/me_irl]
http://i.imgur.com/P7Iytyq.jpg
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︎ Dec 03 2014
Mommy Balloon and Daddy Balloon have a little Baby Balloon and for the first few weeks, he sleeps in the same bed with Mommy Balloon and Daddy Balloonβ¦
β¦but as he grows older and bigger, Daddy Balloon insists he sleeps in his own bed.
Baby Balloon doesn't like being all alone, he misses his Mommy and Daddy so much, that after a few nights, he tries to sneak back into Mommy Balloon and Daddy Balloon's bed, only to find that he had grown too big to fit in the bed with them!
He decides to let some air out of Mommy Balloon, but there's still not enough room, so he let's some air out of Daddy Balloon, but again there's not enough room, so he lets some air out of himself and finally he fits into the bed!
Well, the following morning Daddy Balloon is furious!
"I am very disappointed with you!" says Daddy Balloon. "Not only have you let your Mother down, but you have let me down and let yourself down!"
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︎ Jun 17 2017
I wasn't surprised prices of balloons went up
There's always inflation in the balloon business
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︎ Oct 19 2017
Rob the balloon man (x-post from me_irl)
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︎ May 02 2015
Have you heard balloon prices are going up?
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︎ Apr 02 2017
What type of music do balloons hate?
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︎ Nov 08 2019
Why are balloons so expensive
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︎ Oct 13 2019
What type of music do balloons hate?
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︎ Oct 31 2019
What type of music do balloons hate?
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︎ Nov 17 2019
What type of music do balloons hate?
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︎ Nov 10 2019
What kind of music do balloons hate?
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︎ Aug 26 2019
What kind of music do balloons hate the most?
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︎ Mar 03 2019
What kind of music do balloons hate the most?
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︎ Jun 13 2019
Why canβt you give Elsa a balloon?
Because sheβll let it go
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︎ May 11 2019
Why canβt you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she will let it go
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︎ Feb 11 2019
Why did the balloon go near the needle?
He wanted to be a pop star.
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︎ May 06 2018
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