Annette & Rod
She always falls for debate
He caught all sorts!
He's really into podcasting!
Turns out that math wasn’t the best topic for De bait
Master bait
You wont believe what happened next!
Oh well !! I have to find something else to use as bait now.
Dad: Easy - you just throw a click bait into the water
Son: Got it. What's next?
Dad: What happens next will shock you
I thought I was in treble, but in the mid-dle of my trip, I figured out I was just going to get bass.
I guess you could call me a master-baiter.
Me; "Not on porpoise"
He laughed 12 year old girl next to us cringed and said "porpoise... really?" Joke had desired effect.
He yells "yeah my left one, my right one, and a weeKNEE!" Child giggles ensue. Instilling dad jokes at a young age. Dadding done right. (:
Now I’m hooked
Once you catch a fish, it'll be hooked.
I’m at a loss for words.
Who's there?
Shark bait.
Shark bait who?
(Immediately) ha ha
I know its bad but i was proud i made it
He was totally out of line.
Standoffish
They’ll either catch a fish or die trying.
He wanted to go nuclear fission!
I'm mass-turd-baiting.
Annette
I just knew those traps looked debatable.
De’bait’!
or, alternate punchline:
Bating tactics!
Use this nursery rhyme to play "scary/gross monster" with your tyke:
"The itsy bitsy spider climbed into Mia's mouth
Down to her ears and crawling in and out!
Out through her nose and tickled with her legs,
She made Mia sneeze her brains to scrambled eggs!
achoo splat bleah"
Substitute $name for Mia.
Spider hand chases while Dad reclines on bed. Tyke busily baits and counterattacks.
I dunno whether this qualifies as a Dad joke, but my wife hated it until she saw how much my daughter liked it. I feel like that fits the spirit of Dadness. For maximum results, send your wife the poem first.
Sister (about bites she found on my niece in our family group text chat): it's fleas, I just found one biting her. I'm effing ticked!
Father: no, you're flea'd, not ticked, duh.
"Master Bait"
I replied "just giving them a taste, soon they'll be begging for us to HOOK them up"
After I said it, we both laughed for a few minutes and I knew I had to share it with you guys.
Thank you to the Disney employee that noticed my Reddit alien shirt last week and suggested r/dadjokes. I forgot how entertaining this group is :)
It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
He named all the worms Jason, cause their bait, man.
with baited breath.
Once that get a taste, they're hooked.
My Dad: See the problem with hunting bears is you have to bait them and they might not take the bait.
Me: You know what they say, "If you can't bait 'em, join 'em."
I love Anna Kendrick, and my dad sent me an email with the subject line "Anna Kendrick sings and goes topless in new 'The Last Five Years' clip" with a link to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtG2DJnLBEk
As you can see, Anna does not actually go topless in the trailer. When I questioned his subject line, he responded "She's in a topless car..."
Oh well!! I guess I'll have to find something else to use as bait now.
