Even in places where grocery workers are allowed to unionize people who do bagging work have no say on what goes into each new contract.
Baggers can't be choosers after all.
Yesterday, I was bagging my customer's groceries...
When I asked, "Is it okay if I bag the box of spinach with the toothpaste?" She then asked, "Sure, does it matter?"
I then replied, "No, I'm just worried your spinach might turn into mint."
She didn't get the joke, but her husband did.
I went to the beekeeper to get a dozen bees. When he gave me the bag, I counted 13, so I said “oops, you gave me an extra-“
He said “Nah, that’s a freebie”
I just got fired, and as severance, my company gave me a bag of used coffee.
They said it was grounds for termination.
Why don't vultures check their bags when they fly?
Renovating the house has been a mixed bag
First floor has gone great, but the second floor is another story
Every time we go to the putting green, my friend has to bring along a bag of Pringles to munch on...
He always wants to practice his chipping.
I went to the hardware store with a friend and the store had pallets of soil, seed, and fertilizer out front. We both stopped and looked at one of the pallets stacked high with bags of dried steer manure. The sign said, "Strict limit 2 per customer."
My friend looked at me and said, "I guess there's only so much shit you can take."
True story.
You know people use a bag of rocks as a metaphor for being stupid....
But it took one stone to figure out the theory of relativity.
If a father in Iraq gifts his daughter a new bag, what will she say?
My mate told me he is in love with two school bags
Why was the snowman embarrassed when people saw him buying a bag of carrots?
He got caught picking his nose!
I recently lost a bag of dirt.
I can't believe I'm dirt poor.
How is a shoddy furniture manufacturer like a bag of prunes?
They both create loose stools.
A man is walking down the street holding a bag of pasta upside down...
And then the penne dropped.
True Story. I went to pick up a couple of Italian Beef sandwiches curbside last night and as the runner approached with my order, the sandwiches broke through the gravy soaked paper bag and fell to the ground. She was extremely apologetic and said she would re-bag them for us. But I was livid!
I mean, I did not pay for ground beef.
I was given a bag of peanuts that had been blessed by the Pope.
I gave them away...I hate religious nuts.
Why do vultures never check their bags on an airline?
My wife got really mad when I told her she had no sense of direction
She packed up her bags and right.
What do bears in Turkey say when they see tourists in sleeping bags?
Cashier: “Do you want milk in the bags?”
Dad: “No, thanks. The carton is fine”.
Wife amazed that the price of the soil for her garden was 4.95/50lb bag
I told her thats dirt cheap
It just happened. I'm evolving
I was arrested for having jello in the shape of a gun in my bag
The officers charged me for having a congealed weapon
Whenever I travel, I pack my underpants in a seperate bag
I’ve got a friend that fell in love with two school bags
How do you fit an Elephant into a Safeway bag?
You take the ‘S’ out of Safe and the ‘F’ out of way!
Before I die I am going to eat a whole bag of unpopped popcorn.
Just to make the cremation process a little bit more interesting.
I got two cookies in one bag at the Chinese restaurant...
Last night I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a tea bag.
On the way home I got mugged.
I was assaulted with a bag of soil
But I can't go to the cops cause they got dirt on me.
I bought a box of condoms from the store the other day and the cashier asked me if I wanted a bag
I said “nah, I’ll just turn the lights off.”
What do the French do after buying bread?
What do bears call people in sleeping bags?
Bearritos.
This was stolen from the NPS Instagram, which you should follow for this and other (real) amazing National Parks facts.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CGciQLIDOFS/
My wife said I have no sense of direction
I was like where did that come from.
My wife said, “You really have no sense of direction, do you?”
I said, “Where did that come from?”
Edit: Thanks for the love. I’m right speechless.
The other day I was on the dock talking to two of my neighbors… One of them had a cooler full of beers and snacks… Pulling out a beer pops the top and opening a bag of chips, he says “My wife’s an angel
I said, “you’re lucky – mine is still alive…”
My friend injects his marijuana plants with sugar water as they grow, they sells bags of it for much higher prices...
He's trying to sweeten the pot.
I don’t mean to brag...
but cashiers are always checking me out
What did Homer say when he didn't bag a female deer on the hunting trip?
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
Why was the snowman rooting around in a bag of carrots?
What do bears call people in sleeping bags?
Bearritos.
This was stolen from the NPS Instagram, which you should follow for this and other (real) amazing National Parks facts.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CGciQLIDOFS/
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