What is a baby badger called?
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried giving a badger two different types of pet food, but he couldn't decide which to eat.

Apparently badgers can't be choosers.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
If you get a dachshund for badgers, a beagle for rabbits, and a lab for ducks, what kind of dog do you get for play?

A plott hound

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Discussing badgers with a British co-worker..

Me: "I honestly don't think I've ever seen one in my life; maybe I have but just didn't know."

Co-worker: "Really? I think I've seen quite a few."

Me: "Yeah. Oh, so they're big in the UK then..?"

Co-worker: "Not really, they're the same size all over the world usually."

cue awkward silence before he kills himself laughing...

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mowjowey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2014
🚨︎ report
It’s a big college fan
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sponge_Guy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Proud to be punny 🀘🏻
πŸ‘︎ 636
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you say to an annoying Hufflepuff?

Stop badgering me

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What medal did the weasel war hero receive?

A badger of honor.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jackovias
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
There was once a mole who loved oranges...

However, the mole couldn't reach them from the high trees and he struggled to climb them. Luckily, there was a tall giraffe who offered to help and got the oranges down for the mole.

The mole would go up to the giraffe every morning and ask him for some oranges. The giraffe would happily oblige but little by little he would get more irritated. One day, the giraffe finally got mad and told the mole to see the badger who could make a tool to help him get the oranges down from the tree.

The mole trundled over to the badger and asked him to make him a tool to help with the orange problem. The badger happily agreed to help and went into his shed. For a few days after: cutting, grinding and sawing could be heard coming from his shed when he finally emerged with a 4-pointed tool. He then proceeded to demonstrate the 4-point tool by sticking it into an orange and allowing the juice from which to drain down the arm of the tool.

The mole was extremely happy and excited by his new magnificent 4-point tool and showed everyone it's amazing capabilities. After a while, however, he realised he had shown it to pretty much everyone. Then he remembered the black cat resting under the oak tree. So he walked over to the tree and tried to show the black cat the 4-point tool. The cat said he couldn't see it properly and asked the mole to come closer. The mole took a few steps forward. Again, the black cat requested the mole to come closer and the mole cautiously stepped closer. Finally the black cat lunged forward and ate the 4-point tool.

The mole couldn't believe it and exclaimed, "Why did you do that?"

To which the black cat replied, "Oh haven't you heard? I am a 4-point tool eater Jaguar!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alecroc
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Every time we play Ohio State

My dad and i are Wisconsin Badger fans and I swear every time UW plays Ohio State my dad says this joke about their coach: "Urban Meyer...did you know his brother, Rural Meyer?"

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pawlije
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2013
🚨︎ report
While driving home with my mum.

I saw a dead animal at the side of the road but I couldn't tell quite what it was because it looked like a brown bushy dog. So, I asked my mum "what was that" and she told me that it was a badger.

After that she then told me "I was gonna say it's dead". Should've really followed through with the joke.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tkeign
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Looks like I'm ready for parenthood

I'm a part time clerk/grunt worker at my local supermarket. My shift consists of stacking up milk, butter, eggs, cream, anything that comes from an udder. So, to make my existence seem less monotonous, I'll often badger my coworkers with horrid puns. One day,one of them offered me these kind words of encouragement: "If you don't shut up, I'll shove my foot down your throat." My rebuttal: "Is that what people call sole food?"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nunc-Est-Bibendum
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.