Catastrophy was averted yesterday for famous duo circus act Rocket Randy and his mule. The moment before Randy was to be shot out of a cannon, in a separate act, his mule climbed into the cannon backwards. Both were rushed to the hospital and

It took 4 hours for surgeons to remove Randy's head from his ass.

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Feb 21 2022
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7yo (crying): "I was going to draw a chameleon but 9yo said I couldn't." Wife: "You can draw a chameleon?" (7yo nods)...

Me: "I can too. I already did. It's so good, you can't even see where I drew it."

7yo and wife: Conversation stops, eyes roll, crisis averted.

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/Sunstoned1
📅︎ Oct 19 2022
🚨︎ report
Asphalt and Tarmac were in the bar together having a beer, arguing over who was toughest - when a pink piece of concrete walked into the bar....

Everybody in the bar fell silent and averted their attention. The pink piece of concrete ordered a drink. The bartender was shaking as he poured his beer. The pink piece of concrete looked around, nobody meeting his gaze, drank his beer in one glug and left.

The normal ambience resumed.

"Youv'e got to watch out for him" Tarmac said to Asphalt, "hes a cycle-path!"

👍︎ 8
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📅︎ Feb 13 2022
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Crassus was defeated during the campaign for Parthia.

Crassus averted.

👍︎ 11
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📅︎ Nov 27 2021
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So in my country there is an app that helps navigate through cemeteries

That will help to avert many grave mistakes

👍︎ 13
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📅︎ Aug 08 2020
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The following depicts scenes of gratuitous heteronormative sexual acts

Sensitive viewers are advised to avert their gays

👍︎ 9
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📅︎ Apr 21 2020
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Daughter 1 (crying): "I was going to draw a chameleon but Daughter 2 said I couldn't." Wife: "You can draw a chameleon?" (D1 nods).

Me: "I can too. I already did. It's so good, you can't even see where I drew it."

All three girls: Conversation stops, eyes roll, crisis averted.

👍︎ 646
💬︎
👤︎ u/Sunstoned1
📅︎ Oct 19 2021
🚨︎ report

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