The best dad jokes are unplanned

My family and I were in the car driving down the road the other day. My 5 year old asked for words that rhymed with blue.

β€œWell, there’s glue, two, moo, snoo, zoo, boo..”

My 8 year old chimes in, β€œDaddy, what’s snoo?”

My immediate response? β€œNot much, what’s new with you?”

My journey to the dark side has been complete.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drako1117
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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Men, Science has developed a morning after pill for us, for any potential unplanned babies.

It instantly changes your blood type ...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tr8orst8x3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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What do programmers call an unplanned pregnancy?

Fetal error.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buttengine
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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Unplanned dadjoke from heavy-set, African-American man.

My XL-wearing half-black friend and I were in Trader Joe's when I started being excited about this huge pound block of chocolate.

When I asked him why he wasn't excited, he replied, "I guess I'm just not a big chocolate guy."

I laughed for about an hour at his complete genius.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zacsxe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2014
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Got the girlfriend while she was showing me family photo albums

Her: (While pointing to one of her cousins) "She had an unplanned pregnancy at a young age, but that's her fiancΓ©, they've been together for a long time now."

Me: "Well it's nice to see he's still in the picture."

Not even a groan, just silence and an eye roll

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HEHHHHHHHH
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2015
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The abortion clinic did not know what to do.

They were Unplanned Parenthood.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRtHonLaqueesha
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2016
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