I found out my dad watches the same Japanese time stop videos as me. when he approached the subject during a football game halftime. Being drunk, i confessed... He waited until his friends all left and pointed straight at me and said:
'It's about time, son...'
We both cried
Upon seeing a gorgeous girl at the party, I knew I had to meet her. So I approached and told her about a special-purpose ship designed to move and navigate through frozen waters, and provide safe waterways for other boats and ships.
I've used it before and it works. It's the perfect icebreaker.
This guy just approached me and won’t leave me alone until I solve a trigonometry problem.
I don’t know what his angle is.
A girl just approached me and said she knew me from vegan club
But i swear ive never seen herbivore
A beautiful woman approached him at the bar saying "I will do anything you want for $200" - He stammered...
The waiter approached me as I finished eating and asked, “you wanna box for those leftovers?”
I replied, “No, I hate violence. May I just pay for it with my card?”
Last November 5, i was caught off guard when I was approached by a stranger angrily telling me to butt out of his romantic affairs.
As if i care who that Guy F××××s.
A man approached me, touched my shirt and asked “is this felt?” To which I responded “no”.
Last time I was on a flight, the stewardess approached me and asked, “Sir, would you care for a drink?”
I asked her, “what are my options?”
She said, “yes or no.”
I went camping and a grizzly approached me. I was terrified. I was about to run, but the grizzly stopped and said, “you will die in 10 days.” I replied, “who are you??”
He said, “I hate to be the bear of bad news.”
My buddy gets all the girls. I watched him work once. He approached a lady and said, "girl, you remind me of a thick, creamy beverage made from raw fruit, vegetables, and sometimes dairy products, typically pureed using a blender!"
He's such a smoothie talker.
A man decided to attend his friend's funeral. He approached his friend's widow and after a consoling hug said "Plethora".
She responded "Thanks that means a lot".
I was in the Apple store the other day and the sales assistant Robert, approached me and asked would I like to try the new iPhone. Not interested, I turned and said:
I was out playing Pokemon with my fiance when I approached a group of teens with their phones out. "Hey, I'm looking for my friend Amal..."
"Have you seen him? He's a tall Pakistani guy. Can't miss him."
"No, sorry man."
"Bummer... Yeah I've gotta catch Amal."
My fiance nearly threw her engagement ring at me for that one.
I used to make extra money by selling illegal tennis equipment on the side, but I was approached by some thugs who told me to stop.
I guess they control the Tennis Racket around here.
A fan approached Tony Stark and asked how does he keep himself fit
Someone approached me and asked me to help save the Amazon
So I signed up for a Prime subscription and restocked my bookcase.
We were walking down the street, when a group of black metal musicians approached us.
My friend turned to me and quipped, "Oh oh! Here comes treble!"
I was buying my groceries in Prague when the manager approached me asking for my proof of citizenship
Being a US national, I wasn’t allowed to use the self Czech out.
Latest figures reveal that there are 28 million sheep in New Zealand. When approached for comment, Statistics New Zealand said:
A merchant approached the captain of a SWAT team about upgrading their riot shields...
The captain replied, "Finally! A purchase I can get behind!"
A Rabbi paid a visit to the village of "Trid," where they were being relentlessly kicked by an angry troll. The troll completely avoided the Rabbi, kicking only the locals. He finally approached the troll, and asked why.
The troll replied, "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"
I was suddenly approached by a bunch of people, screaming to my face that I looked like one of the seven dwarves
A fat man is approached by his son...
"Daddy, I'm gonna call you sir"
"Aww thanks lad"
"Sir Cumference"
I was running a little behind today and I approached a man wearing a watch.
But he wouldn’t give me the time of day
I approached a girl in a bar and tried flirting with her
"This is my partner here," she told me, tapping him on the shoulder.
He turned around and I said, "Nice to meet you, Here."
This man approached me in the park. He said, 'Have you seen my dog anywhere?'
Who on earth calls their dog Anywhere?
A waiter approached his guest and asked if he was still working on his plate of food
He responded, "No, sir, its the weekend."
My son and I were walking to the ice cream shop when we approached a crosswalk. I asked my son what are we looking for before we cross the street...
As we approached the speaker in the Starbucks drive-thru, my wife was having a hard time deciding what she wanted.
I told her to chai harder.
Some guy just approached me and refused to leave until I solve a trigonometry problem.
I have no idea what his angle is.
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