Nike/Apple pun
If Nike did line of branded Apple Macbooks, would it be called Nike Air Macs?
It’s illegal to sell stocks from inside a bath of sparkling apple juice
Because that would be in cider trading
If apple made a car
Would it still have windows?
Did you hear about the break-in at the Apple store?
The police are looking for iWitnesses.
In Jamaica, a slice of apple pie costs about $3.50. In the Bahamas, it costs about $4.00.
Those are the pie rates of the caribbean.
What’s the worst part of having an apple addiction?
You can’t see the doctor about it.
How do you like them apples?
Mom was freaking out that we ate all the apples.
"I just bought them, yesterday!! It's not like they..."
"...grow in trees?" Dad finished.
All of us kids were cracking up and dad is now having a private talk with mom.
Did you hear about the guy who made a fortune investing in apple?
Turns out he was in cider trading
What is it called when a Samsung and an Apple mate?
A sample
(Actual joke from my Dad)
I once made love to a girl in an apple orchard...
Never fart in an apple store
Apple is making new cartoon boyfriends
I made myself a small open pie filled with sliced apples and sugar, but I misplaced it shortly after. Suddenly I was no longer hungry
I'd completely lost my appletart
What's a doctor who specialises in Adams apples called?
What did the apple say to the orange?
Nothing , apples can’t talk
What would you call an apple with good taste?
I knew what apple juice tasted like before I even tried it.
I had in-cider information.
What are you called if you are shopping at an Apple store when it’s robbed?
My genetically engineered apples have been disfigured
They have gone pear-shaped.
Everyone knows where the Big Apple is...
But do you know where the Minneapolis?
Mum: an apple a day keeps the doctor away
Son at shops the next day: Mum, can we get that box of apples?
Mum now pretty confused: why honey?
Son: I kinda kicked my football through the doctors window
Apple is designing a new car.
But they’re having trouble installing windows.
Why was the pregnant apple so upset?
Because her boyfriend, the banana, split.
I saw the Apple store get robbed once
If you take apple, and mix it with pinecone, what does it become?
Probably a lot less tasty.
Who does Apple call on to provide testimony in court?
Apples new Bluetooth accessory: the iTanic...
....is guaranteed to sync.
True story: My family and I were walking at an apple orchard today when my 6-year-old noticed a discarded apple and asked "Why is there an apple under a pine tree?"
I responded without missing a beat, "That, my son, is a pine apple."
Shoutout to the mom passing by who witnessed and appreciated this gem.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
What do you after an Apple turns bad?
Apple announced a new product for wives that helps cope with spontaneous dad jokes throughout their day.
The iRoll
Edit: thank you kind strangers for the awards! I told my wife we've struck gold and she immediately upgraded to the newest iRoll v2 software!!!
If you see a crime at the Apple Store...
Does that make you a an iWitness
Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.
I thought "the streets are strangely desserted tonight."
When that Apple hit Isaac Newton on the head, it gave him a brain embolism
It was a stroke of genius
Did you know Apple is working on an EV?
Has anyone seen it? I am looking for some iWitness’s
If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for?
What’s worse than finding a caterpillar whilst eating an apple?
Why isn't there an Apple iPhone Fold?
Because Apple don't want iPhone to be afoldable.
What do you call an apple that falls far from the tree?
what’s the worst thing about having an apple addiction?
you can’t see a doctor about it
How many apples grow on trees?
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3 in the Bahamas
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
How many apples grow on a tree?
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas...
These are the Pie rates of the Caribbean
How many apples grow on trees?
Why should you not fart in Apple store?
Because there are no windows.
Whats the difference between an apple and an orphan?
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