Some wild r/apple puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pokemaster11HD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
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Nike/Apple pun

If Nike did line of branded Apple Macbooks, would it be called Nike Air Macs?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonr7670
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2018
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It’s illegal to sell stocks from inside a bath of sparkling apple juice

Because that would be in cider trading

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πŸ‘€︎ u/canyuse
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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If apple made a car

Would it still have windows?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/p_tally
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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Did you hear about the break-in at the Apple store?

The police are looking for iWitnesses.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RingsideRoss
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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In Jamaica, a slice of apple pie costs about $3.50. In the Bahamas, it costs about $4.00.

Those are the pie rates of the caribbean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AbnormalElephant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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What’s the worst part of having an apple addiction?

You can’t see the doctor about it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KrunkleChris
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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How do you like them apples?

Mom was freaking out that we ate all the apples.

"I just bought them, yesterday!! It's not like they..."

"...grow in trees?" Dad finished.

All of us kids were cracking up and dad is now having a private talk with mom.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
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Did you hear about the guy who made a fortune investing in apple?

Turns out he was in cider trading

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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What is it called when a Samsung and an Apple mate?

A sample

(Actual joke from my Dad)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MegaMind28
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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I once made love to a girl in an apple orchard...

I came in cider.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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Never fart in an apple store

They don't have windows

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bijkeh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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Apple is making new cartoon boyfriends

It's called AniMate

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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I made myself a small open pie filled with sliced apples and sugar, but I misplaced it shortly after. Suddenly I was no longer hungry

I'd completely lost my appletart

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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What's a doctor who specialises in Adams apples called?

A guyneckologist!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2canVANdam
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
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What did the apple say to the orange?

Nothing , apples can’t talk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reallewbag92ttv
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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What would you call an apple with good taste?

A Fineapple.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbsxact7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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I knew what apple juice tasted like before I even tried it.

I had in-cider information.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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What are you called if you are shopping at an Apple store when it’s robbed?

An iWitness.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jch308
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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My genetically engineered apples have been disfigured

They have gone pear-shaped.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Awesome-79
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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Everyone knows where the Big Apple is...

But do you know where the Minneapolis?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elo_Solo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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Mum: an apple a day keeps the doctor away

Son at shops the next day: Mum, can we get that box of apples? Mum now pretty confused: why honey? Son: I kinda kicked my football through the doctors window

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UsyPlays
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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Apple is designing a new car.

But they’re having trouble installing windows.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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Why was the pregnant apple so upset?

Because her boyfriend, the banana, split.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/19triguy82
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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I saw the Apple store get robbed once

Yep, I was an iWitness

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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If you take apple, and mix it with pinecone, what does it become?

Probably a lot less tasty.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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Who does Apple call on to provide testimony in court?

An iWitness

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackoMabreda
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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Apples new Bluetooth accessory: the iTanic...

....is guaranteed to sync.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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True story: My family and I were walking at an apple orchard today when my 6-year-old noticed a discarded apple and asked "Why is there an apple under a pine tree?"

I responded without missing a beat, "That, my son, is a pine apple."

Shoutout to the mom passing by who witnessed and appreciated this gem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Etereve
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Set-Life-Medic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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What do you after an Apple turns bad?

You open windows.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Di_Ma_Re_Bra
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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Apple announced a new product for wives that helps cope with spontaneous dad jokes throughout their day.

The iRoll

Edit: thank you kind strangers for the awards! I told my wife we've struck gold and she immediately upgraded to the newest iRoll v2 software!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Use2HandsPlease
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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If you see a crime at the Apple Store...

Does that make you a an iWitness

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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1llerpanda1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.

I thought "the streets are strangely desserted tonight."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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When that Apple hit Isaac Newton on the head, it gave him a brain embolism

It was a stroke of genius

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WalterNewton
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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Did you know Apple is working on an EV?

Has anyone seen it? I am looking for some iWitness’s

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EndlessDadJokes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for?

Plastic explosives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nebulas-Entity
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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What’s worse than finding a caterpillar whilst eating an apple?

Finding half a one

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fakesowdy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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Why isn't there an Apple iPhone Fold?

Because Apple don't want iPhone to be afoldable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rawkmaniac
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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What do you call an apple that falls far from the tree?

An outcider...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevographic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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what’s the worst thing about having an apple addiction?

you can’t see a doctor about it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chickenman2359
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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How many apples grow on trees?

All of them!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wafran
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3 in the Bahamas

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LayThatPipe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas...

These are the Pie rates of the Caribbean

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πŸ‘€︎ u/portleycrue12
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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How many apples grow on trees?

All of them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beej2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
🚨︎ report
If Apple made a car

Would it have Windows?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lipisko
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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Why should you not fart in Apple store?

Because there are no windows.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chihiro_yoru
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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Whats the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmar4234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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