Once again I've entered the annual tightest hat competition in our town, this year I'm just hoping..

..that I can pull it off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the statistician hesitate to apply the square root transformation to the data on annual hate crimes?

She didn't want bigotry to be normalized.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrBobShelton_74
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
The first annual meeting of camouflage club was a disaster.

It looks like no one showed up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Se7enineteen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!

I beat the raining champion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I wasn't invited to perform on the annual mushroom stand-up comedy show

I guess they must have realized I'm not a fungi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Abaght
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The electric company I work for has a talent show at the annual company party.

One of the techs did a stand up comedy routine. The humor wasn’t very funny, it mostly went for shock value.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pikkl_rikk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do mathematicians hold their annual convention?

Times Square!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
My family all wore vests for the annual family photo day.

It was the vest day ever. Until i had to take mine off. I just wasn't as invested as they were.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HyperGameGuy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A baton walks into the annual walking stick confrence.

As he's entering, a security guard stops him and says "You have to leave now. This area is staff only."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Aristeian
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
We are holding our annual social anxiety conference this weekend.

We hope to have more than 1 person show up this year.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do the knights of the round table have their annual gatherings?

At the Sir-conference

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mitcheg3k
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
The American Ladder Institute has an annual meeting in October. They have several safety seminars and so on.

It’s their fall meeting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/segfaulting_again
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign outside a camping shop advertising their annual sale. It read...

Now its the winter of discount tents!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Once again the annual ninja parade passed through town unnoticed.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/twitchy987
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Who calls balls and strikes at the annual Vatican softball game?

The Holy Roman Umpire!

... sorry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeowvan
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2015
🚨︎ report
London Zoo is beginning it's annual stocktake...

And the pelican keepers warn that they could be facing some enormous bills.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrplShrp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I was really nervous when I was asked to be the main speaker at the Introverts’ annual convention, but everything turned out ok.

Thankfully no one showed up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Warren Buffet (self-made billionaire) holds an annual conference for aspiring entrepreneurs.

When they go to lunch during the conference, they eat from the β€œBuffett Buffet.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/realmattmoseley
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to apply at a vegetarian restaurant until I saw they were actually offering to pay an annual celery.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/resmungomandinga
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the Dr. today for my annual physical.

He must not have slept much last night because he was feeling a little teste.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JT078
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2018
🚨︎ report
When food poisoning breaks out at the Annual Condiments Convention...

"We'll ketchup later but first I mus-turd!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CymbalTarget2327
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear how boring the annual gathering of reddit mascots turned out?

It really turned into a huge Snoo's fest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainPatent
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
A man and his girlfriend plan their annual sex themed Olympics, and the man brags of his ability to win gold...

Dejected, his girlfriend says, "maybe you can take one for the team and try coming second for once."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godredd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
🚨︎ report
In the annual scientistific track and field meet, the geologists always lose

Proving once again that gneiss guys finish last.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Why was the tiger mad after the annual animal race?

Because the winner was a cheetah

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nurris
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2015
🚨︎ report
When I worked as a vet we had an annual competition to find the cat with the dirtiest butt and the winner would get a trophy. This competition wasn't too successful...

In fact, it was a cat-ass-trophy!

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2017
🚨︎ report
The retirement center where my elderly grandmother lives has an annual 4th-of-July ball for the residents.

We call it "In Depends Dance Day."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoGators2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2016
🚨︎ report
Annual Dad Joke Day

I propose that today, March 4, should be Annual Dad Joke Day. This is dedicated to my father, who has asked me, once a year, "What day of the year is a command?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruberik
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2014
🚨︎ report
Planting some annuals today, told my son they had to be done immediately...

...because they were impatients.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ja647
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2015
🚨︎ report
Where do mathematicians hold their annual conventions?

Times Square!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
🚨︎ report

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