There are 11 types of people
Those who know binary, those who repost this ancient pun, and this and those who donβt
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︎ Aug 18 2019
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison.
Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
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︎ Oct 14 2020
The nation of Iran lies between the ancient lands of Babylon to the west and the mountains of Afghanistan to the east...
In other words, itβs between Iraq and a hard place.
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︎ Dec 20 2020
What do you call the chief of an ancient Amazonian tribe?
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︎ Dec 28 2020
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
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︎ Dec 12 2020
Ancient Egyptian architect: "Do you know how to build a pyramid?"
Ancient Egyptian builder: "Well, err yeah, upto a point."
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︎ Nov 27 2020
According to ancient Japanese lore, the colour of a personβs aura changes when they die.
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︎ Oct 31 2020
My wife bought me an ancient Italian artefact.
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︎ Nov 26 2020
My friend can convert modern currency to Ancient Roman currency in his head.
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︎ Dec 25 2020
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends werenβt very supportive. They kept telling him to βGet with the times...
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︎ Sep 22 2020
In Ancient Greece, people who had beliefs contrary to the worship of Poseidon were executed for Heresea
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︎ Nov 16 2020
The ancient Romans made a lot of deadly poisons. The fourth one they created, however, just made people itchy.
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︎ Nov 26 2020
There aren't many dad jokes about ancient Mesoamericans.
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︎ Nov 08 2020
Ancient farmers lived by one rule
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︎ Sep 24 2020
Me and my wife got into an argument about how to contact an ancient Chinese dynasty...
She said...
"Talk to the Hans."
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︎ Nov 18 2020
TIL the first photo was not from 1826, but in fact over 2000 years earlier in ancient egypt:
"TheΒ earliest exampleΒ of a prosthesis ever discovered is not a leg, arm, or even a fake eye, itβs a toe. A big toe, belonging to a noblewoman, was found in Egypt and dated to between 950-710 B.C.E"
...the very, very first faux toe ;)
Non pun related, the egyptians were the first to grind lenses too, not used as glasses but instead inserted into statues for creepy eye effects
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︎ Oct 26 2020
What do you call it when two ancient Egyptians fart at the same time?
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︎ Aug 10 2020
Historians have traced the origins of flatulence jokes to ancient egypt
It turns out they all have a toot in common
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︎ Oct 07 2020
I have two college friends who studied ancient Egyptian plumbing.
They were pharaoh faucet majors.
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︎ Oct 10 2020
Ancient Dad Joke
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︎ Sep 23 2020
An ancient Egyptian queen with an especially flat chest was recently discovered.
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︎ Oct 12 2020
What did the ancient Britons do when their feet got cold?
They put their Anglo socks on.
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︎ Sep 20 2020
The very first sex change procedures were perfected in ancient Egypt...
...they became quite skilled at making daddy's into mummy's.
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︎ Sep 13 2020
An ancient Greek walks into his tailorβs shop with a pair of torn pants.
ββEuripidesββ says the tailor. ββYeah, Eumenides?ββ replies the man.
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︎ Aug 30 2020
As an archaeologist, I could instantly tell the people of the ancient world were into sweet things...
They used a mortar and PEZ-tle.
Yeah, it's dumb but it sure beats a repost!
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︎ Sep 03 2020
What do you call someone who studies ancient Egyptian plumbing?
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︎ Aug 11 2020
So I travelled back in time, and was told THE BEST joke by ancient egyptians
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︎ Jul 31 2020
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
.
...or was it Sock-rates?
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︎ May 22 2020
My least favorite subject in school was ancient history.
The teacher always tended to Babylon
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︎ Jul 13 2020
Why did the ancient Egyptians have such great posture?
There had an abundance of Cairo-practors
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︎ Aug 05 2020
These ancient people are something!
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︎ Nov 18 2019
I read a very interesting ancient Egyptian blog post describing the embalming process
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︎ Jun 30 2020
What similar to working at McDonaldβs and being a archeologist in Athens
You will smell like ancient Greece
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︎ Dec 05 2020
What do you call an ancient pyramid?
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︎ Mar 29 2020
What's the worst thing about ancient history class?
The teachers tend to Babylon.
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︎ Nov 05 2019
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
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︎ Aug 09 2019
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
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︎ Dec 30 2019
Ancient Roman Technology really was amazing
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︎ Nov 02 2019
Long, stupid Dad joke
The ancient Greeks greatly feared volcanic explosions from Mt. Olympus, so they developed a tradition of sacrificing young maidens to the Gods on the mountain. Every year they selected five girls, and sacrificed four. Then they assigned the other one to stomp the olive harvest. Thatβs where we get Extra Virgin Olive Oil.
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︎ Nov 28 2020
What did ancient Egyptian kings use to attract females?
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︎ Nov 23 2019
What do you call Ancient Egyptian males that worship the sun?
Ramen
(Joke derived from u/praetorsolaris)
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︎ Feb 09 2020
According to ancient Japanese lore, the colour of a personβs aura changes to cyan before they die.
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︎ Dec 17 2019
According to ancient Japanese lore, the colour of a personβs aura changes to cyan before they die.
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︎ Jun 01 2020
An Ancient Greek walks into his tailorβs shop with a pair of torn pants
βEuripides?β says the tailor.
βYeah, Eumenides?β replies the man.
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︎ Nov 12 2019
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