My birthday is on July 24th, shame I was born in america. If I was born anywhere else....
my birthday would be 24/7
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︎ Oct 18 2020
If Captain America was a weaboo.
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︎ Jan 23 2021
What would happen if America switched from using pounds to kilograms as a unit a measure?
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︎ Jan 16 2021
Why are so many movies made in america?
...Because they like shooting things
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︎ Oct 28 2020
What's the difference between America and an yogurt
The yogurt is capable of growing a culture after 100 years
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︎ Jan 09 2021
To America
You're so last year
Love New Zealand
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︎ Dec 31 2020
They used to say America was a democracy.
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︎ Nov 11 2020
Caption America
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︎ Jul 15 2020
Did you know that the first French Fries werenβt cooked in France or America?
They were cooked in Greece.
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︎ May 15 2020
Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
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︎ Nov 09 2020
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to france from america?
Son, we are now Europeants!
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︎ Dec 04 2020
In America, you can register a domain name at Godaddy.com, but...
insovietrussiadomainregister.su
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︎ Dec 01 2020
What is Satanβs favorite city in America?
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︎ Dec 08 2020
Whatβs Americaβs favorite animal ?
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︎ Dec 01 2020
Trump wants to leave America?
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︎ Oct 17 2020
So many items are no longer made in America...
I just bought a new tv and the box said βbuilt in antennaβ...
I donβt even know where that is!
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︎ Nov 20 2020
What did Captain America say to his wife after taking Viagra?
"I can keep this up all night"
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︎ Nov 25 2020
TIL about the 1860's guano wars in South America.
They were bat shit crazy.
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︎ Nov 18 2020
It's amazing how some word's spellings change between America and Britain
For instance, in America they call Tyrannosaurus Rex a T-Rex and in England they call them a Tea-Rex
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︎ Nov 17 2020
I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese, and make America grate again.
also in the news:
Patients who have died or been admitted to intensive care with Covid-19 have been found to be deficient in a vitamin found in spinach, eggs, and hard and blue cheeses, raising hopes that dietary change might be one part of the answer to combating the disease.
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︎ Oct 02 2020
Did you know America is run by hippos?
It's what causes all the hippocrisy
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︎ Nov 09 2020
With the increasing cases of Covid in America, I was worried there would be a shortage of paper towels.
But I found the grocery story to be Bounty full.
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︎ Oct 17 2020
How do you know Jesus wasn't born in America?
They needed 3 wise men and a virgin
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︎ Oct 17 2020
America made Among Us, whatβs Europeβs equivalent?
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︎ Oct 09 2020
An independent study showed that the average household in America uses 3.14 pumpkins between Halloween and thanksgiving
No wonder they call it pumpkin pi!!!!
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︎ Oct 28 2020
How many people live in South America?
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︎ Nov 06 2020
Captain America at his best
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︎ Aug 15 2020
When Columbus discovered America and met Indigenous people,
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︎ Oct 12 2020
America is at it again
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︎ Aug 20 2020
What do you call a Bee living in America
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︎ Jun 26 2020
America: color
England: colour
America:humor
England:humour
America: flavor
England: flavour
England: what are you doing?
America: Iβm just getting rid of u
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︎ Oct 05 2020
What is the number one cause of divorce in America?
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︎ Jul 06 2020
A man was sentenced to 20 years in prison when he inadvertently contaminated the food supply of 30 specimens of Americaβs national bird.
His actions were highly ill-eagle
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︎ Sep 23 2020
You know what they said about the war between America and Russia?
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︎ Sep 20 2020
Captain America doesnβt even call them Freedom Fries.
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︎ May 24 2020
If you live in America, then you're an American except when you're in the bathroom
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︎ Sep 03 2020
I move America last month and I'm still try to learning English
Teacher : Juan, create a sentence using the word "harmony"
Me: i tell my girlfriend that my money is harmony. We share everything together.
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︎ Aug 27 2020
I felt really sad when I saw a girl on TV crying and saying, βI Miss America!β
Then someone corrected her grammar and gave her a sash and a tiara.
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︎ Aug 14 2020
Should we give Captain America's fight technique a name. I have one.
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︎ Jul 11 2020
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︎ Jun 14 2020
What do you call a bee from America
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︎ Sep 01 2020
What do you call a hornet from America?
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︎ Sep 17 2020
Imagine if America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.
There'd be mass confusion.
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︎ Jun 06 2020
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