My birthday is on July 24th, shame I was born in america. If I was born anywhere else....

my birthday would be 24/7

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aglaz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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If Captain America was a weaboo.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DevotionInChains
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
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What would happen if America switched from using pounds to kilograms as a unit a measure?

Mass confusion.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mighty_Platypus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
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Why are so many movies made in america?

...Because they like shooting things

πŸ‘︎ 367
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πŸ‘€︎ u/plopperdinger
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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What's the difference between America and an yogurt

The yogurt is capable of growing a culture after 100 years

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RDRC
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
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To America

You're so last year

Love New Zealand

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/me_he_te
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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They used to say America was a democracy.

Now it's a democrazy.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ccalabrese01
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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Caption America
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/subbu9969
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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Did you know that the first French Fries weren’t cooked in France or America?

They were cooked in Greece.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danarchist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to france from america?

Son, we are now Europeants!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoOne77492
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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In America, you can register a domain name at Godaddy.com, but...

insovietrussiadomainregister.su

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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What is Satan’s favorite city in America?

Sin-sin-atti

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andytheg
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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What’s America’s favorite animal ?

A desert eagle

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DudSteeple
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Trump wants to leave America?

Okay, Biden.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CyberOGa3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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So many items are no longer made in America...

I just bought a new tv and the box said β€œbuilt in antenna”... I don’t even know where that is!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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What did Captain America say to his wife after taking Viagra?

"I can keep this up all night"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElgarRS
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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TIL about the 1860's guano wars in South America.

They were bat shit crazy.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bunbarian
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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It's amazing how some word's spellings change between America and Britain

For instance, in America they call Tyrannosaurus Rex a T-Rex and in England they call them a Tea-Rex

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caddiss_jc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese, and make America grate again.

also in the news:

Patients who have died or been admitted to intensive care with Covid-19 have been found to be deficient in a vitamin found in spinach, eggs, and hard and blue cheeses, raising hopes that dietary change might be one part of the answer to combating the disease.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Did you know America is run by hippos?

It's what causes all the hippocrisy

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ommageden
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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With the increasing cases of Covid in America, I was worried there would be a shortage of paper towels.

But I found the grocery story to be Bounty full.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zkck0517
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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How do you know Jesus wasn't born in America?

They needed 3 wise men and a virgin

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuckinWimp87
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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America made Among Us, what’s Europe’s equivalent?

Among Eu.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealQwasson_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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An independent study showed that the average household in America uses 3.14 pumpkins between Halloween and thanksgiving

No wonder they call it pumpkin pi!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alastrel3000
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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How many people live in South America?

At least a Brazilian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iiooiooi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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Captain America at his best
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamrdk21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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When Columbus discovered America and met Indigenous people,

He said, "O, hio".

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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America is at it again
πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lotus_Lettuce
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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What do you call a Bee living in America

USB

πŸ‘︎ 251
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Aarsh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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America: color

England: colour

America:humor England:humour

America: flavor England: flavour

England: what are you doing? America: I’m just getting rid of u

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/levonsafaryan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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What is the number one cause of divorce in America?

Marriage.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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A man was sentenced to 20 years in prison when he inadvertently contaminated the food supply of 30 specimens of America’s national bird.

His actions were highly ill-eagle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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You know what they said about the war between America and Russia?

Yo, this shit cold!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigMartin58
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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Captain America doesn’t even call them Freedom Fries.
πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-JasonTe
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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If you live in America, then you're an American except when you're in the bathroom

Then European.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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I move America last month and I'm still try to learning English

Teacher : Juan, create a sentence using the word "harmony"

Me: i tell my girlfriend that my money is harmony. We share everything together.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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I felt really sad when I saw a girl on TV crying and saying, β€œI Miss America!”

Then someone corrected her grammar and gave her a sash and a tiara.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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Should we give Captain America's fight technique a name. I have one.

Capslock

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/geeky_or_nerdy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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Captain America vs Wolverine imgur.com/Uhy8rOJ
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xerotrope
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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What do you call a bee from America

USB

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/got_nohandz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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What do you call a hornet from America?

A USB

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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Imagine if America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.

There'd be mass confusion.

πŸ‘︎ 194
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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