An American wants to enter a nightclub

Together with some friends from abroad, an Afghan, an Albanian, and Algerian, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Argintine, an Armenian, and Austrailian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leemhuis
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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Imagine Americans switched from Pound to Kilograms overnight

There would be mass confusion

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anukrit_Subedi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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An American, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German where all attending a Zoom meeting. The Supervisor asked β€œcan you see me ok?”

To which they answered β€œyes” β€œoui” β€œsi” β€œja”.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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My wife is kicking me out because she's fed up with my South American animal puns

"OK", I said, "Alpaca my bags".

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
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How many dead bodies are buried in the average American cemetery?

All of them

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
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Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same thing?

Because 10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too..

Edit: thank you for awards, I have never gotten one before. I apologize that this is a repost, I did see it on TikTok and thought that it was cute and wanted to share. In the future I will check the sub for similar content before I post anything.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lewzerman
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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Did you also know Michael Jackson was part Native American?

He was a quarter Cherok-HEE-HEE!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhoenixAurum
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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what do you call an american bee?

a usb

πŸ‘︎ 627
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chickenman2359
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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What do you get when you cook an American burger with your phone charger?

100% USBeef.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sjmaeff
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2021
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My clothes were having a competition to decide which one is the coolest

It ended up being a tie

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlarioKath
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
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There will be point in the future when Canada will take over the world.

And then you will all be sorry.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
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Bit coin or something idk
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/naughtyballsack
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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TIL many Central and South Americans suffer from an ocular infection called Eye Carumba /r/ShittyTodayILearned/co…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsMichaelRay
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
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originally posted on r/tumblr by u/MaetelofLaMetal
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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Do you know the difference between a Russian and American genealogists?

It's their nationality.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepOrderDis
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
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My wife asked for a divorce today, saying I was too un-American.

I saw it coming from a kilometer away.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do Americans think cow tipping is hard.

It is difficult to calculate 20% in Imperial System

>!This is a play on the word "tipping", which means....(A)Pushing a cow over.............(B)Tipping a generous amount of 20% after dinner!<

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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What is the world’s least spoken language?

Sign language

πŸ‘︎ 358
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2021
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Ancient South American owls always worked together secretly.

They were Inca hoots.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kartenhouse
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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How many South Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A Brazilian!

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πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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The native american legends has a mythical creature similar to the unicorns of Europe.

The Unimaize.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pnaeacks
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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What American President had the highest approval rating among pirates?

F.D. Arrrrrrrr!!!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
american schools are some of the only places you can have first hand experiences with Quadrilaterals and quad-collaterals
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blahblorb
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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Did the Native Americans hunt bear?

No, they hunted with clothes on.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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A very patriotic friend who I thought loved everything American just told me he preferred Eurpoean spellings

He's finally shown me his true colours.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Retrohero5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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Why is it pronounced "Bri'ish" if you're from Britain?

Because they drank the 't'

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JenovasChild666
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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If you were to second guess your decision to book time at a Native American community,

That would be called a reservation reservation reservation

Credit to Brian Regan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/3pinephrine
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a Shepard and an American Shepard?

The American Shepard barks American.

(Grandad to my son, had him laughing out loud)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaHedgehog27
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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My American Roblox freezer died today...

0Β°F

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emil_Jorgensen05
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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Mt. Rushmore rocks!
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cREDBARON
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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I saw a 1000 year old oil stain

It was from ancient Greece

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darz167
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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If you can't appreciate this, please furgive me
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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How do you measure a snake? In inches, because they don’t have feet.

But you measure rattlesnakes in meters, because they have rhythm.

πŸ‘︎ 127
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Satchmoi
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
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My grandfather just walked into the room with a guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast.

I said, β€œWho is this guy?”

My grandfather: That’s my hip replacement.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Apparently the COVID vaccine causes constipation

When I got mine the other day they told me I had to wait 3 weeks to get number 2.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oscargamble
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
🚨︎ report
An anthropologist was cataloging south american folk remedies with the assistance a local tribal elder who indicated the leaves of a particular fern were the best cure for constipation. The anthropologist had doubts.

But the elder insisted "with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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I forgot to post this on Pi Day. Oh well! The Argyle Sweater for 3/14/21
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDorkKnight53
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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an American IT specialist was beaten even though he had a gun with him

He had troubleshooting

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GSterian
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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What’s the difference between a computer and an American?

The American doesn’t have any troubleshooting

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blueslidepark94
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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I found this humerus
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garymattts
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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Despite waging war in Afghanistan, most Americans can't name its capital.

It's kinda hard.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tamer_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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This is what being American is all about. Second Amendment Lights.
πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDorkKnight53
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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Camomile is a drink for Americans

Camokilometer is the preferred choice in England

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tawdry-eloquence
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.

The nurse asked the rabbit: "What's your blood type?"

"I'm probably a Type O", said the rabbit.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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Who goes on adventures with Lara Croft but is also pretty good at American Football?

Tomb Raidy

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stgm_at
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Damn!
πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampoo_and_dick
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the American pass out in a Canadian bar?

He saw an ad that read "Drink Canada Dry", so he thought he would give it a try.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elster000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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