Imagine Americans switched from Pound to Kilograms overnight
There would be mass confusion
An American, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German where all attending a Zoom meeting. The Supervisor asked “can you see me ok?”
To which they answered “yes” “oui” “si” “ja”.
There will be point in the future when Canada will take over the world.
And then you will all be sorry.
what do you call an american bee?
originally posted on r/tumblr by u/MaetelofLaMetal
Why do Americans think cow tipping is hard.
It is difficult to calculate 20% in Imperial System
>!This is a play on the word "tipping", which means....(A)Pushing a cow over.............(B)Tipping a generous amount of 20% after dinner!<
Ancient South American owls always worked together secretly.
american schools are some of the only places you can have first hand experiences with Quadrilaterals and quad-collaterals
A very patriotic friend who I thought loved everything American just told me he preferred Eurpoean spellings
He's finally shown me his true colours.
My wife asked for a divorce today, saying I was too un-American.
I saw it coming from a kilometer away.
What's the difference between a Shepard and an American Shepard?
The American Shepard barks American.
(Grandad to my son, had him laughing out loud)
I saw a 1000 year old oil stain
It was from ancient Greece
If you can't appreciate this, please furgive me
My grandfather just walked into the room with a guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast.
I said, “Who is this guy?”
My grandfather: That’s my hip replacement.
Apparently the COVID vaccine causes constipation
When I got mine the other day they told me I had to wait 3 weeks to get number 2.
An anthropologist was cataloging south american folk remedies with the assistance a local tribal elder who indicated the leaves of a particular fern were the best cure for constipation. The anthropologist had doubts.
But the elder insisted "with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."
I forgot to post this on Pi Day. Oh well! The Argyle Sweater for 3/14/21
Despite waging war in Afghanistan, most Americans can't name its capital.
What’s the difference between a computer and an American?
The American doesn’t have any troubleshooting
an American IT specialist was beaten even though he had a gun with him
A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.
The nurse asked the rabbit: "What's your blood type?"
"I'm probably a Type O", said the rabbit.
Who goes on adventures with Lara Croft but is also pretty good at American Football?
This is what being American is all about. Second Amendment Lights.
Why did the American pass out in a Canadian bar?
He saw an ad that read "Drink Canada Dry", so he thought he would give it a try.
Camomile is a drink for Americans
Camokilometer is the preferred choice in England
An American man went to Germany for a vacation.
As he arrived, he decided to go fishing, so he did. But tragedy struck and his boat hit a rock, making a hole. The man, as anyone would do, called the coast guard and yelled "IM SINKING IM SINKING!"
the German Coast Guard casually replied, "what are you sinking about?"
As an American, it's disappointing that so few people wear vests
Especially since our founding fathers made it a point to guarantee us the right to bare arms
What do you call a crime, committed by a fruit?
What kind of chairs do they use in Ireland?
An American is working out
“This workout is intense!” He huffs to his friend. “My heart is pounding!”
“Huh?” Says the friend.
“Oh, sorry, I forgot you’re European. My heart is ‘kilogramming’.” He replies.
What do you call second thoughts about plans to visit a Native American sanctuary?
A reservation reservation reservation
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
Why do soccer referees never fold in poker?
Because they always call the flop.
American geologists found the largest deposits of oil.
And some unknown Arab country above it.
Due to freezing conditions in New York, the mens American Naturist Society....
.....has seen the size of their members shrink dramatically.
What is something witches can say about themselves that most americans can not?
What do you call an American living in Russia during the winter?
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight
There would be mass confusion.
What would happen if the USA switched from Pounds to Kilograms?
There would be mass confusion
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight
There would be mass confusion
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