I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
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︎ Apr 28 2021
What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?
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︎ Jun 07 2021
What do you call two humans that share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
Reference, for those of you that did not pay attention during secondary-level biology class - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primate
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︎ Jun 08 2021
Amazon Child Care
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︎ Jun 02 2021
Why do you never see Wonder Woman or the Amazons cry?
They donβt want to smear Themyscira
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︎ May 18 2021
Amazon are offering free fast delivery on every electrical transformer this week
Just search optimus prime
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︎ May 25 2021
I had no idea Amazon renewed my subscription
I've been tricked, I've been backstabbed, and quite possibly, bambezoed.
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︎ May 02 2021
Man, I've had it with Amazon.
Every time I order chicken pellets and grain, they email me 3 days later, asking for their feed back.
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︎ Apr 22 2021
For our anniversary, I made and served a nice dinner, with light provided by Amazon.
She always loves Kindle-lit dinners!
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︎ May 01 2021
Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, how did he become a millionaire?
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︎ May 09 2021
There's an Amazon Forest but no Microsoft Forest - why is that?
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Amazon has started a new service where they deliver custom made shirts within 48 hours.
Itβs called Tailor Swift.
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︎ Apr 06 2021
Jeff Bezos stepped down from CEO of Amazon...
It's too bad.
He was in his Prime.
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︎ Feb 03 2021
Such a shame that Jeff Bezos is stepping down from Amazon.
He really is in his prime.
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︎ Feb 03 2021
I was excited to get a large can of fine meat from Amazon.
But it turned out to be spam.
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︎ Feb 18 2021
I bought a sail for my boat on Amazon the other day.
Today it dawned on me that it's not the right size so I called to cancel. They said it's too late.
That sail has shipped.
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Have you heard about Amazonβs plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
Theyβre projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
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︎ Dec 02 2020
I'm very disappointed with my Amazon Prime subscription!
it will only let me watch episodes 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13
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︎ Oct 14 2020
Why did the Amazon package wake up in a bathtub full of ice?
Because it was de-livered.
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︎ Dec 15 2020
I applied for a job at Amazon.
I told them I'll arrive for the interview between 9&5.
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︎ Dec 08 2020
Amazon delivered my new Ninja professional blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
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︎ Nov 05 2020
Just ordered a chicken and an egg off of Amazon.
I'll let you know...
Edit: For those that want the results
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︎ Jun 26 2020
Amazon is clever sometimes
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︎ Jul 12 2020
I ordered a thesaurus from Amazon but when it was delivered all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
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︎ May 26 2020
My boyfriendβs cat, Jack, recently discovered the Amazon box lying on the floor. He jumped in and started playing in it. I guess you can say....
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︎ Oct 01 2020
Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, has become the first person ever to have a net worth over $200 billion.
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︎ Aug 27 2020
My wife ordered one of those new heavy blankets off Amazon but delivery took forever...
She says it was worth the weight.
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︎ Sep 02 2020
I dared to ask my wife why she is ordering a giant tub of Whiteout from Amazon.
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︎ Aug 08 2020
Amazon should change rating on music instrument category to 4 stars
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︎ Aug 24 2020
Why do monkeys always share Amazon accounts?
Because they are Prime mates.
... Sorry.
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︎ May 06 2021
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
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︎ May 08 2021
Just about had it with Amazon.
Every time I order chicken pellets and grain
They email me three days later asking for their feed back!
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︎ Apr 22 2021
So I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
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︎ Feb 14 2021
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
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︎ Mar 10 2021
Did you see Jeff Bezos stepped down as Amazon CEO?
Quit while he was in his Prime.
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︎ Feb 02 2021
I ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon.
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︎ Feb 17 2021
Did you heard about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
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︎ Apr 16 2020
Amazon has come up with a new service where they deliver custom made suits to your house in 48 hours.
Itβs called Tailor Swift.
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︎ Oct 28 2020
I ordered a chicken and an egg from amazon.
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︎ Aug 31 2019
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
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︎ Mar 07 2020
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. Iβll let you know
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︎ Aug 14 2018
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
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︎ Jul 16 2020
Amazon is starting a new service where they deliver custom made shirts to your door within 48 hours.
They are calling it Tailor Swift.
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︎ Jun 27 2020
Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, has become the first person ever to have a net worth over $200 billion.
Thatβs a really expensive net!
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︎ Aug 28 2020
Amazon has started a new service where you will get custom made shirts delivered within 48 hours.
Itβs called Tailor Swift.
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︎ Aug 07 2020
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