Enchiladas are just Americanized BS.
Everywhere else they’re centimeteriladas.
My wife asked for a divorce today, saying I was too un-American.
I saw it coming from a kilometer away.
an American IT specialist was beaten even though he had a gun with him
This is what being American is all about. Second Amendment Lights.
Camomile is a drink for Americans
Camokilometer is the preferred choice in England
American geologists found the largest deposits of oil.
And some unknown Arab country above it.
What is something witches can say about themselves that most americans can not?
Due to freezing conditions in New York, the mens American Naturist Society....
.....has seen the size of their members shrink dramatically.
What do you call an American living in Russia during the winter?
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
An American is working out
“This workout is intense!” He huffs to his friend. “My heart is pounding!”
“Huh?” Says the friend.
“Oh, sorry, I forgot you’re European. My heart is ‘kilogramming’.” He replies.
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight
There would be mass confusion.
When the American president found out that he was sexually attracted to both men and women, what did he say?
What do you call an american car that crashed into a body of water?
A Fjord fusion!
I'll see my way out
Why was the Native American bartender fired?
He kept charging $24 for a Manhattan
American president
Why is the new President so old?
Hes been Biden his time
Did you know that Americans eat more bananas than monkeys every year?
Which makes sense, because I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl
...I said I didn't even know he could play cricket.
Edit: Americans; replace 'cricket' with '10 Pin Bowling 🎳 '
Thank you for the awards
Why don't Americans like knock knock jokes?
How do you let your Native American friend know he's welcome anytime?
Why won’t Americans switch from pounds to kilos?
It would cause mass confusion
A new car has been launched for American cowboys...
We Tried Getting Americans to Start Measuring Weight in Kilograms Instead of Pounds
But they were very cagey about it.
My wife is kicking me out because she's fed up with my South American animal puns...
'OK,' I said, 'Alpaca my bags.'
A drunk wakes up in jail, "Why am I here officer?"
"For drinking." replies the cop.
"Great" says the man. "When do we start?"
The American honey industry uses fascinating tech
It’s all powered by US bees.
Most people consider the Battle of Gettysburg the turning point of the American Civil War
For the Confederacy, it all went South from there
What do you call a native Alaskan eye doctor??
An Optical Aleutian
I’ll see myself out...
What is the opposite of a croissant?
What is the only American State that has ever been married?
An American, landing in India: Does anyone here know how to play baseball?
What do you get when you cross Scandinavian landscapes with an American car company?
How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb?
Why do British people say they’re “bri’ish”?
What's the most American way to sit?
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"
What is the best American state to go sunbathing?
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight
There would be mass confusion
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
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