My dad always said I loved alphabet soup growing up.
But really it was just him putting words in my mouth.
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︎ Jan 27 2021
Alphabet
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︎ Jan 16 2021
Why can pirates never finish the alphabet?
Because they always get lost at C.
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︎ Oct 12 2020
Why did only one letter of the alphabet get a Christmas present?
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︎ Dec 25 2020
What do you call it when you mix a laxative with alphabet soup?
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︎ Jan 06 2021
Whatβs the hottest letter in the alphabet?
βBβ, because it makes oil boil.
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︎ Jan 02 2021
I started a petition to swap the position of "a" and "n" in the alphabet.
No one took me seriously when I said jk lmao
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︎ Nov 30 2020
A man recently ran up to me announcing that he was a primary color, then instructed me to perform a modern dance trend on the fourth letter of the alphabet and food coloring.
He said "I'm blue, dab a D, dab a dye".
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︎ Jan 14 2021
What do you call Japanese alphabet soup?
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︎ Jan 16 2021
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
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︎ Dec 10 2020
I told my wife Iβm going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order from now on.
She said, βWhere would you find the time?β
I said, βEasy. Right next to the sage.β
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︎ Dec 13 2020
How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet?
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︎ Dec 24 2020
This summer when I dug potatoes from my garden, they all were shaped like a letter from the alphabet...
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︎ Jan 11 2021
Did you hear that they're replacing two letters of the alphabet? Instead of T, you have to say "Clowns". Instead of V, you need to say "Jokers". I refuse to use them, but I was singing the alphabet when they changed them, so I have a problem...
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with U.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
I'm preparing to teach my son the alphabet.
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︎ Sep 17 2020
Y'all ever hear of the Christmas alphabet?
ABCDEFGHIJK MNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
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︎ Dec 25 2020
My wife said the βEβ was missing from my sons alphabet set.
I replied, βNo way that is in the top 5 most voweluable letters!β
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︎ Dec 06 2020
All the letters of the alphabet walk into a bar. Why does only one of them get a drink?
Because the bartender keeps saying, βCan I get U anything?β
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︎ Dec 19 2020
I have an alphabet grenade
if that goes off it could spell disaster
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︎ Nov 29 2020
What is the second to last letter of the alphabet?
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︎ Aug 15 2020
During an autopsy, why are the heart, kidneys, liver and lungs arranged alphabetically?
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︎ Sep 12 2020
I told the alphabet to my crushβ¦
She said I missed out the letters, U R A Q T, I responded with βthanks!β
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︎ Nov 30 2020
When I write down the alphabet I never get past the letter "I"
I guess that's where I draw the line.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
Iβm trying to learn the alphabet but I canβt get past X
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︎ Apr 19 2020
I am only familiar with 25 letters of the English Alphabet
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︎ Oct 19 2020
Why do pirates live the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C
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︎ Oct 22 2020
No matter what I do, I just canβt seem to master the entire alphabet.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
My 6 yr old son has an attitude problem at the dinner table. He barely eats and always makes the rudest comments about the home-cooked food we provide him, so tonight we tried alphabet soup.
I really hope he eats his words.
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︎ Nov 06 2020
The alphabet is terrifying.
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︎ Sep 09 2020
What happened when the 26th letter of the alphabet hit puberty?
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︎ Nov 08 2020
Where do aliens and alphabets go party
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︎ Nov 20 2020
If a programmer could rearrange the alphabet, they'd put U and I together.
User Interface is important to them.
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Me - "Whats a pirates favorite letter of tha alphabet?"
Friend - " Rrrrr "
Me - " aye ye think that but it be the C "
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︎ Oct 16 2020
Wanna hear a joke about the eleventh letter of the alphabet ?
No? K.
(If they ask why, just say no, thatβs a different joke)
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︎ Sep 29 2020
Youβve heard of alphabet soup now get ready for....
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︎ Mar 13 2020
I ate five cans of alphabet soup yesterday
And this morning I had a huge vowel movement.
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︎ Sep 12 2020
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet
Donβt really know Y :/ (first post here)
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︎ Jul 14 2020
Once I was so dehydrated, I couldnβt even remember all the letters in the English alphabet.
I went ABCDEFG and then PQRSTUVWXYZ. I was missing H to O.
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︎ Oct 05 2020
Why can't you trust the alphabet soup?
There are so many M-pastas.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
My daughter's teacher gave her a project to write the English alphabet on slips of paper. Unfortunately 25 letter slips got wrinkled on her way to school.
But atleast she has a smoothie
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︎ Sep 24 2020
Iβve combined alphabet soup with a laxative...
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︎ Jan 03 2021
If you see the second letter of the alphabet
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︎ Jan 13 2021
I made a dish that combines alphabet soup with a laxative.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
Why can't pirates finish the alphabet?
Because they get lost at "c"
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︎ Nov 03 2020
I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup.
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︎ Oct 05 2020
Why canβt pirates complete the alphabet song?
Because they get lost at C
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︎ Oct 31 2020
Why can't pirates finish the alphabet?
Because they got lost at C!
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︎ Oct 12 2020
I'm only friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.
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︎ Sep 15 2020
I know all 25 letters of the alphabet....
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︎ Jul 10 2020
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