Alls Puns

My sister is in the emergency room with second degree burns on her foot from cooking oil, I need puns to make fun of her at thanksgiving.

Be merciless.

Edit: it was great, you're puns were big hits. After each pun I said your username without context, but at the end of dinner someone asked me if I was going insane and I said "no, those are the pun credits" so, in some of your cases it was pretty funny to say out of context.

Thank you all for your entries, they were great!

only intellectuals will understand

Untl someone loses an i.

But very few people know his brother Frank was a monster.

Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.

I want to be a bouillonaire.

Head lice.

But I can Samurais

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

Every one reading this is on the same page.

Edit: Thanks guys. This is way too much love.

which I think is poor for four.

Bernadette.

Then Soviet

In the Ark Hives.

She got mad and said she's never playing scrabble with me again

He said, “Wow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”

Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.

THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN IN PARIS.

I don’t see any.

Police issued a statement saying they had 'nothing to go on'

March!

A dadabase

It's their Denmark.

...in a dad-a-base

Take it away boys.

They were amazing at possessing the ball.

*My son's joke. I'm so proud.

“You herd me!"

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

...in a dad - a - base

A dad-a-base