A tennis ball bounces into a bar.

Before anyone else says anything, it said,

"You better serve me here, or I'm taking you to court!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why should dog owners invest in tennis balls?

They have a high rate of return

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drmt23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My dog has a glow-in-the-dark tennis ball

We try not to leave it in the yard on sunny days, because that would lead to glow ball warming.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fizzmore
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Just been to the funeral of a close friend who died when he was hit in the head by a tennis ball

Great service

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jarvo1992
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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A tennis player is walking off the court and a guys asks him β€œWhat’s that in your pocket?” The player replies β€œtennis balls” . . .

The guy says β€œWell if it’s anything like tennis elbow, it must be painful!!”

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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I think my dad used to be a tennis ball boy.

Whenever I open the door to his study room he always shouts "OUT!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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If you ever think your life is tough, just imagine being a tennis ball.

People applauding because you got hit really hard.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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What did the dog say to the overdressed tennis ball?

How fetching

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jericho-Clone21
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the pub last night dressed as a tennis ball

Got served straight away!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sparko_Marco
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Baby tried to feed a tennis ball to a plush moose...

9 month old is trying to be generous, and puts teething toys (or anything he can grab) in other people's mouths. It's very nice.

He had one of the dog's tennis balls, and tried to put it in this giant stuffed moose's mouth.

Me to wife: "He seems so concerned that it's not eating."

Wife to me: "Well, he hasn't eaten in years."

Me to wife: "He can't eat any more, he's stuffed."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/surfrock66
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2015
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Got my parents tonight

I asked my parents to bring my tennis stuff to me since I live 2 hours away and they were coming to town to see my sick uncle.

After we had a nice meal, they drove me back to my apartment and handed me the bag.

Dad: I bought some balls for you. I think there's two cans in there.

Me: Why would there be birds in my tennis bag?

We just stared at each other for a good 5-10 seconds. Then I hear my mother groan. He caught on not long after.

πŸ‘︎ 145
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emperor_of_Cats
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2015
🚨︎ report
As someone who is bad with tennis

I was playing tennis, wondering where the ball went.. And then it hit me

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ May 15 2017
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While watching Jeopardy...

The winner of tonight's Jeopardy's name was Denu (de-new). After it was over, I turned to my wife and said, "You know, I bet he has an older brother named De-old."

She threw a tennis ball at me.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hazc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2014
🚨︎ report
Lens replacement on a pair of glasses

So my daughter was playing tennis last week when she got hit by an errant ball knocking her glasses off. When her glasses hit the ground both lenses popped out. She brought them home and we fixed them.

Next day she said one of the lenses wasn't seated right. No problem. I told her to pop the lenses out and reseat them.

Her response, "I don't know how to get the lenses out."

My comment, "Hit them with a tennis ball. That seems to work well."

Silence. . . Well, just me chuckling to myself, but otherwise silence. . .

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacob_Marley
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2015
🚨︎ report
Tennis coach would do this to almost everyone he met.

He'd take out his keys and show us the key chain.

See this here? It's for when I want to play a little tennis

Then it would be repeated to anyone nearby.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolmonger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad just forwarded this email to me...

> > Balls > > > > INTERESTING OBSERVATION > > 1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL. > > > > > > > > > > 2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING. > > > > > > > > > > 3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL. > > > > > > > > 4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL. > > > > > > > > > > 5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS. > > And... > > > > > > > > 6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is > > GOLF. > > > > THE AMAZING CONCLUSION: > > > > The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls > > become. > > There must be a boat load of people in Ottawa and Queen's Park > > playing marbles. > > You know you WILL PASS THIS ONE ON!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BladeNoob
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2014
🚨︎ report
I just came back from my coworker’s funeral, who died when he was hit on the head by a tennis ball.

It was a lovely service.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I just came back from my coworker’s funeral, who died when he was hit on the head by a tennis ball.

It was a lovely service.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do dogs invest in tennis balls?

They have a high rate of return.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hawkmoona_Matata
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2016
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad said "I should never date a tennis player..."

As love means nothing to them

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2015
🚨︎ report

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