Waking Puns

A list of puns related to "Waking"

Every morning after waking up, the first thing I do is make my bed.

Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to IKEA.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Dec 29 2020
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A joke I came up with when I was waking up this morning.

Two guys were walking down the street towards one another, the second guy bumps into the first guy and the first guy goes "Ayee, watch it. I'm Walken 'ere" and the second guy goes "oh, sorry Christopher"

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👤︎ u/ninjalord25
📅︎ Dec 20 2020
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Why do people in Athens have a hard time waking up in the morning?

Because dawn is tough on Greece.

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👤︎ u/Peacesquatch
📅︎ Jun 03 2020
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Why do greek people hate waking up early?

Because Dawn is tough of Grease

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👤︎ u/alexbeltran43
📅︎ Oct 18 2019
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The tree was complaining about waking up a little stiff. I guess you could say he had...

Morning wood.

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👤︎ u/Skididlydoo
📅︎ Apr 13 2019
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Two peanuts were waking down the street, one was wrapped in its shell

The other was a salted..

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👤︎ u/ItsBenjiiii
📅︎ Aug 16 2019
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Midgets will be waking up shortly
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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Aug 20 2018
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I've got a Blur alarm clock. So I'm always waking up to Park Life.....

Except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awoken by the dustmen.

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👤︎ u/ElderHallow
📅︎ Apr 03 2019
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I'm still so tired after waking up from my appendectomy.

Man, surgery really takes it out of you.

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👤︎ u/whudaboutit
📅︎ Jan 01 2019
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Me and my family are on a road trip. After waking up from a long nap, I ask my dad, "what state are we in now?"

He replies, "the state of confusion!"

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👤︎ u/Whiskeymysticsandmen
📅︎ Dec 03 2017
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My wife keeps waking me up to go turn off the computer and then turn it back on again.

I hate these late night rebooty calls.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jun 26 2018
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Why is waking up at 3AM like a pigs tail?

It's Tw'early

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👤︎ u/Albatraous
📅︎ Sep 25 2015
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Waking up after a night of drinking my girlfriend asked me to bring her some green tea to aid her hangover

I came back with this http://imgur.com/9KgUeRK

Dad jokes are the best medicine

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👤︎ u/deutschbag17
📅︎ May 25 2015
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I went to the doctor after waking up to find that all of my toes had fused together into a single, larger, toe.

He asked me if I lived anywhere near the shoreline. I shook my head and asked why he asked.

The doctor responded, "Oh, just curious, because you've got a case of port man toes"

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👤︎ u/imnotwitty
📅︎ Dec 19 2015
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My daughter has been frightened lately, because I've been waking up nightly, screaming from a bad dream. (It's a dream in which I'm forced to eat Indian food for every meal...)

I told her it's just a recurrying nightmare.

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👤︎ u/yourbrotherrex
📅︎ Dec 25 2016
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Waking up my son

So I woke up my son by shaking his bed and calling it an earthquake. He did not get up. Then I got a cup of water and sprinkled some in him and said its a flood. Still did not get up. Then I blew in his face and called it a hurricane. Finally I threw his blanket off him and called it a tornado. That worked. He got up. Later I was explaining it to my wife and said he was woken up by some disasters. He chimed in. "More like Dad-sasters".

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👤︎ u/ChrisFromLongIsland
📅︎ Dec 11 2016
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Waking up this morning...

I woke up and my wife was getting ready in the bathroom. She came back to bed and snuggled into me and all I could smell was hair spray.

I said, "That hair spray is a little intense."

She retorted, "You're intense!"

I replied, "Actually I'm in a bed."

*commence eye rolling *

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👤︎ u/thefountain88
📅︎ Jan 05 2015
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Waking up with a tooth ache and a hangover..

Tell my roommate my face hurts because I probably fell off my bed at night. He responds, " did you fall off at tooth-thirty?!?"...

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👤︎ u/ama457
📅︎ Sep 03 2014
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Wife Dad-Joked me with in minutes of waking...

I woke her up on Sunday morning and she opened her eyes and... Wife: "What have you been doing?" Me: "Picking up the house." Wife: "Where are you taking it?" SMH

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👤︎ u/proxzerk
📅︎ Apr 14 2014
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Every morning after waking up, the first thing I do is make my bed.

Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to IKEA.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Sep 17 2020
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Every morning after waking up, the first thing I do is make my bed.

Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to IKEA.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Aug 03 2020
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As a programmer, waking up is the 0th thing I do every morning
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👤︎ u/Nh-278
📅︎ Nov 15 2018
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Why do people of Athens hate waking up so dam early?

Dawn is tough on Greece.

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👤︎ u/ManicMick420
📅︎ Sep 15 2019
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Did you know that people in Athens hate waking up early?

It's because Dawn is tough on Greece.

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👤︎ u/Sup3rDynam0
📅︎ Sep 06 2019
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