Waking Up Puns

Because dawn is tough on Greece.

Morning wood.

Except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awoken by the dustmen.

Man, surgery really takes it out of you.

I hate these late night rebooty calls.

He replies, "the state of confusion!"

It's Tw'early

I came back with this http://imgur.com/9KgUeRK

Dad jokes are the best medicine

I told her it's just a recurrying nightmare.

So I woke up my son by shaking his bed and calling it an earthquake. He did not get up. Then I got a cup of water and sprinkled some in him and said its a flood. Still did not get up. Then I blew in his face and called it a hurricane. Finally I threw his blanket off him and called it a tornado. That worked. He got up. Later I was explaining it to my wife and said he was woken up by some disasters. He chimed in. "More like Dad-sasters".

I woke up and my wife was getting ready in the bathroom. She came back to bed and snuggled into me and all I could smell was hair spray.

I said, "That hair spray is a little intense."

She retorted, "You're intense!"

I replied, "Actually I'm in a bed."

*commence eye rolling *

Tell my roommate my face hurts because I probably fell off my bed at night. He responds, " did you fall off at tooth-thirty?!?"...

Dawn is tough on Greece.

It's because Dawn is tough on Greece.