I'm here all week! Try the veal!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hot_controller
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
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Try the veal...

I heard they served Wookie veal on the death star. It was really a little chewie though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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Sheep either die a gyro, or live short enough to become the veal-on...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PENAPENATV
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
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What do you call a veal-birthing cow?

De-calf

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlushingTorgo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2015
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My daughter: Dad is there veal in the meatloaf?

Me: No, just a little beef.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotThatTom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2016
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Vegans and Vegetarians can not have gender reveal parties

Because you must first veal before you can reveal.

And yes, I just said this to my wife. She can't wait until our kids are teenagers and I can tell these jokes in front of their friends.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frumpybuffalo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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Why was there a dead calf in the boot of a Germans car?

It’s his spare veal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cormac-Dockry
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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A friend of mine asked me to adopt some baby cows, and I agreed.

What can I say, I’m always willing to raise the steaks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DifferentNoodles
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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Eye dew knot gnaw watt two dew

Eats too inn the mourning end eye veal lyke ass leap

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daunfifi123c456b
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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I brought home baby cow meat for the dog, which he ate, threw up, and re-consumed.

It was very re-veal-ing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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What did the farmer say to the little girl when she asked what happened to the baby cow?

Veal see tonight

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FatMetalJesus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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What do you call beachfront property that is owned by a cow?

Prime Veal Es-steak

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πŸ‘€︎ u/melon_lawd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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One of my friends bought two baby cows recently

I told him this couldn't be veal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snakegear50
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
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My dad refuses to eat calve's liver.

It makes him veal offal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paracog
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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Sleep-Deprivation Fueled Pun War

My friend (L) and I (B) ended up in a pun war. She had to wake up super early to catch a flight, and this was at about one in the morning:

L: I should definitely set my alarm to 'cow' o.O

B: Haha, do it. Nothing like waking up to cows in the 'moo'rning.

L: Oh my gosh. Absolutely not.

B: Hey, but it would be so 'udder'ly hilarious!

L: I just got stabbed to death by a pun.

B: I'm just trying to 'milk' it for all it's worth...

L: If I did that, I'm not sure I'd wake up in a happy 'moo'od.

B: Just drink some 'calf'inated coffee, and you'll be fine.

L: I'd be laughing 'stock' of the town... Cows don't have a sense of humor.

B: Bull!

L: I'll just use my cowculator do determine how much sleep I'm actually going to get tonight...

B: You could wake up a little later, but you'd have to 'hoof' it to the airport.

L: Hope the weather is good, so my plane isn't 'ground'ed 'beef'.

B: That's stretching it... You should make more of an 'heifer't to come up with good puns.

L: I know when I'm getting creamed.

B: It's hard to 'steer' you in the right direction, because you keep changing topics.

L: That's udderly ridiculous. I'm just trying to mooove on.

B: And I just keep churning 'em out...

L: No, you're just spinning your 'veal's.

B: That's one of the best ones I've herd all night!

L: I thought I might've butchered it...

B: PETA might have a beef with you because of it, though...

L: Well done, well done...

B: I don't think they care leather or not you personally slaughtered it, too.

L: See now, I wish you'd stop 'grilling' me about the bad puns... You should 'patty' yourself on the back. I 'dairy' you to come up with more.

B: Well, you can certainly steak a claim for being able to hold your own...

L: I'm a natural 'barn' comedian. However, I really should quit 'yak'king and go to bed. :p

B: Okay, that's not cows... You lose. You 'cud' have done a lot better.

L: The grass is greener on the other side, okay? Also, cows live in barns, and yaks are related to cows.

B: It was still quite a stretch... Don't have a cow about it.

L: Ha anymoo. Goodnight! Also, don't die of mad cow disease.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/guerrilla154
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2015
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What do you call bovine-owned beachfront property?

Prime Veal Es-Steak

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πŸ‘€︎ u/melon_lawd
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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