A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. β€œFirst offender?” the judge asked.

β€œNo” she replied. β€œFirst a Gibson , then a Fender”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A Harper Lee novel on trial refused to open up about their case case, but was still judged by it's cover.

Moral of the story... Don't kill animals.

Edit: remove one case

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevographic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
In a trial

not of people, but of dough, everyone is seated. The judge enters the room,

The officer: all rise

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iomstmstdom
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The prosecutor offered the ballet dancer two choices after she did not pay her mountain of parking tickets. A) Say guilty, pay them off, and get probation for 6 months or B) Say Not Guilty and go to trial and perhaps serve 6 months in jail.

She took plea A.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Letting you all know that I've volunteered for the Russian vaccine trials held here in Melbourne. I received my first shot at 9.00 am this morning

It’s completely safe with ΠΈo side effects whatsoeveя, and im currently feelshΞΊΞΉ Ο‡oρoshό я Ρ‡ΡƒΠ²ΡΡ‚Π²ΡƒΡŽ сСбя Π½Π΅ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ странно ΠΈ я Π΄ΡƒΠΌΠ°ΡŽ, Ρ‡Ρ‚ΠΎ Π²Ρ‹Ρ‚Π°Ρ‰ΠΈΠ» ослиныС ΡƒΡˆΠΈ.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neo-1000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Science calls it as "randomized clinical trial controlled with placebo", whereas I call it as..

.."Trick or Treatment"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amar610
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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A man in a drug trial died from a complication which dissolved his pneumogastric nerve, the coroner listed the cause of death as...

"in vivo lost vagus"

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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When I tried to admit new evidence to the trial, the judge threw a Granny Smith at me...

I then remembered it's an apple-late court.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
They celebrate the trials and tribulations of the inventors of Kotex today during Women's History Month!

It's a rags to riches story

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
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Why were all the witnesses at Shakira's trial THJR replacement patients?

Because hips don't lie.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiamondChocobos
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A lawyer and a law maker had been in an argument for several years, escalating into a bet to see who would break the law first. The lawyer then found himself in a trial against the law maker.

The law maker was outlawed.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/N1ch0l2s
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the Christmas tree on trial?

Treason.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dasvott
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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What happens to sailors put on trial?

They are judged by a jury of their piers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strawbalicious
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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A man was on trial for producing cents covered in a thin layer of gold...

They found him gilt-y.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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A man went to trial for hiding in a perfume bottle.

He was found in-a-scent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ghosttwo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2018
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πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Target359
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2018
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During a trial, the judge called me egotistical and conceited.

I am appealing.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
🚨︎ report
The prosecuting attorney would lose every trial because he was too namby-pamby...

He had a lack of conviction that led to a lack of conviction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the 4 men who were recently on trial for robbing a calendar shop of 8 calendars?

They all got 2 years each.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/74CK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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How do you ensure a dock gets a fair trial?

Have it decided by a jury of his piers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ServalSpots
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
🚨︎ report
When all hope was lost in the courtroom, the defendant attorney suddenly came out of some luggage and won the trial with efficiency and success.

It was a brief case.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BustZaNuto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A quick court trial of a man charged with stealing men's underwear in his leather rectangular container

A brief case

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bossofthemoss07
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2018
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What’s a churchgoer’s favorite part of a trial?

The cross examination

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoulOfCthulhu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
🚨︎ report
A woman was on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection

the judge says: "First offender" The woman replies: "No, first a Gibson, the a Fender"

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating up a unfaithful rockstar husband with his guitar collection

The judge asked her, β€œfirst offender” β€œNo,” she says β€œfirst a Gibson then a Fender

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A bit nervous, but yesterday I volunteered for the COVID-19 vaccine trials.

The vaccine is one that was created in Russia. I received my first shot this morning at 7:00 am, and I wanted to let you all know that it’s completely safe, with ΠΈo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshΞΊΞΉ Ο‡oρoshό я Ρ‡ΡƒΠ²ΡΡ‚Π²ΡƒΡŽ сСбя Π½Π΅ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ странно ΠΈ я Π΄ΡƒΠΌΠ°ΡŽ, Ρ‡Ρ‚ΠΎ Π²Ρ‹Ρ‚Π°Ρ‰ΠΈΠ» ослиныС ΡƒΡˆΠΈ.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pot8toes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?"

She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sardonicuis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.

The judge asksΒ her, "First offender?” She says, β€œNo, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"

πŸ‘︎ 210
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cmac33111133
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection...

The judge asks, β€œFirst offender?” The wife replies, β€œNo, first a Gibson, then a Fender.”

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dohpaz42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, β€˜First offender?

’ She says, β€˜No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, β€˜First offender?

’ She says, β€˜No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, β€˜First offender?

’ She says, β€˜No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asks her, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, β€˜First offender?

’ She says, β€˜No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, β€˜First offender?

’ She says, β€˜No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says "first offender?" She says,

No, first a Gibson, then a fender

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sykadelik_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.

The judge says, "First offender?"

She says, "No, first a Gibson, then a Fender!"

πŸ‘︎ 143
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGreat_DmfB
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2017
🚨︎ report
So a women is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. During her court hearing the judge asks, "First offender?"

The woman says, "No first a gibson, then a fender."

πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rei7689
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2015
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson, then a Fender!"
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dimkal
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2018
🚨︎ report
A woman was on trial...

...for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.

Judge says: β€˜First offender?'

Woman replies: β€˜No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!'

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection...

Judge says, "First offender?"

She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"

πŸ‘︎ 96
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2016
🚨︎ report
A women is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.

The judge asks her, "First offender?"

She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedWolf308
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a short court trial?

A brief case.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AVeryFondOreo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2017
🚨︎ report

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