A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. βFirst offender?β the judge asked.
βNoβ she replied. βFirst a Gibson , then a Fenderβ
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︎ Dec 03 2020
A Harper Lee novel on trial refused to open up about their case case, but was still judged by it's cover.
Moral of the story... Don't kill animals.
Edit: remove one case
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︎ Jan 19 2021
In a trial
not of people, but of dough, everyone is seated. The judge enters the room,
The officer: all rise
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︎ Dec 06 2020
The prosecutor offered the ballet dancer two choices after she did not pay her mountain of parking tickets. A) Say guilty, pay them off, and get probation for 6 months or B) Say Not Guilty and go to trial and perhaps serve 6 months in jail.
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︎ Nov 26 2020
Letting you all know that I've volunteered for the Russian vaccine trials held here in Melbourne. I received my first shot at 9.00 am this morning
Itβs completely safe with ΠΈo side effects whatsoeveΡ, and im currently feelshΞΊΞΉ ΟoΟoshΟ Ρ ΡΡΠ²ΡΡΠ²ΡΡ ΡΠ΅Π±Ρ Π½Π΅ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ ΡΡΡΠ°Π½Π½ΠΎ ΠΈ Ρ Π΄ΡΠΌΠ°Ρ, ΡΡΠΎ Π²ΡΡΠ°ΡΠΈΠ» ΠΎΡΠ»ΠΈΠ½ΡΠ΅ ΡΡΠΈ.
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︎ Sep 17 2020
Science calls it as "randomized clinical trial controlled with placebo", whereas I call it as..
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︎ Sep 26 2020
A man in a drug trial died from a complication which dissolved his pneumogastric nerve, the coroner listed the cause of death as...
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︎ Sep 23 2020
When I tried to admit new evidence to the trial, the judge threw a Granny Smith at me...
I then remembered it's an apple-late court.
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︎ Jul 24 2020
They celebrate the trials and tribulations of the inventors of Kotex today during Women's History Month!
It's a rags to riches story
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︎ Mar 12 2020
Why were all the witnesses at Shakira's trial THJR replacement patients?
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︎ Mar 09 2020
A lawyer and a law maker had been in an argument for several years, escalating into a bet to see who would break the law first. The lawyer then found himself in a trial against the law maker.
The law maker was outlawed.
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︎ Feb 05 2020
Why was the Christmas tree on trial?
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︎ Dec 24 2019
What happens to sailors put on trial?
They are judged by a jury of their piers.
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︎ Nov 15 2019
A man was on trial for producing cents covered in a thin layer of gold...
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︎ Jan 04 2020
A man went to trial for hiding in a perfume bottle.
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︎ Jul 28 2018
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︎ Oct 29 2018
During a trial, the judge called me egotistical and conceited.
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︎ Nov 27 2018
The prosecuting attorney would lose every trial because he was too namby-pamby...
He had a lack of conviction that led to a lack of conviction.
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︎ Apr 10 2019
Did you hear about the 4 men who were recently on trial for robbing a calendar shop of 8 calendars?
They all got 2 years each.
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︎ Dec 19 2018
How do you ensure a dock gets a fair trial?
Have it decided by a jury of his piers
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︎ Oct 24 2018
When all hope was lost in the courtroom, the defendant attorney suddenly came out of some luggage and won the trial with efficiency and success.
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︎ Jan 28 2019
A quick court trial of a man charged with stealing men's underwear in his leather rectangular container
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︎ Jan 22 2018
Whatβs a churchgoerβs favorite part of a trial?
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︎ Nov 26 2018
A woman was on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection
the judge says: "First offender" The woman replies: "No, first a Gibson, the a Fender"
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︎ Dec 16 2020
A woman is on trial for beating up a unfaithful rockstar husband with his guitar collection
The judge asked her, βfirst offenderβ
βNo,β she says βfirst a Gibson then a Fender
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 17 2020
A bit nervous, but yesterday I volunteered for the COVID-19 vaccine trials.
The vaccine is one that was created in Russia. I received my first shot this morning at 7:00 am, and I wanted to let you all know that itβs completely safe, with ΠΈo side effects whatsoeveΡ, and that I feelshΞΊΞΉ ΟoΟoshΞΏΜ Ρ ΡΡΠ²ΡΡΠ²ΡΡ ΡΠ΅Π±Ρ Π½Π΅ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ ΡΡΡΠ°Π½Π½ΠΎ ΠΈ Ρ Π΄ΡΠΌΠ°Ρ, ΡΡΠΎ Π²ΡΡΠ°ΡΠΈΠ» ΠΎΡΠ»ΠΈΠ½ΡΠ΅ ΡΡΠΈ.
π︎ 12
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︎ Sep 28 2020
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?"
She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!β
π︎ 47
π
︎ Apr 24 2020
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.
The judge asksΒ her, "First offender?β She says, βNo, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"
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︎ Aug 30 2019
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection...
The judge asks, βFirst offender?β The wife replies, βNo, first a Gibson, then a Fender.β
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︎ Jan 21 2019
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, βFirst offender?
β She says, βNo, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!β
π︎ 30
π
︎ Oct 28 2019
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, βFirst offender?
β She says, βNo, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!β
π︎ 40
π
︎ Nov 05 2019
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, βFirst offender?
β She says, βNo, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!β
π︎ 24
π
︎ Nov 03 2019
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!β
π︎ 29
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︎ Oct 07 2019
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asks her, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"
π︎ 14
π
︎ Oct 21 2019
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, βFirst offender?
β She says, βNo, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!β
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 30 2019
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, βFirst offender?
β She says, βNo, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!β
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 08 2019
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says "first offender?" She says,
No, first a Gibson, then a fender
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 05 2019
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.
The judge says, "First offender?"
She says, "No, first a Gibson, then a Fender!"
π︎ 143
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︎ Dec 20 2017
So a women is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. During her court hearing the judge asks, "First offender?"
The woman says, "No first a gibson, then a fender."
π︎ 108
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︎ Aug 06 2015
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson, then a Fender!"
π︎ 19
π
︎ Feb 24 2018
A woman was on trial...
...for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.
Judge says: βFirst offender?'
Woman replies: βNo, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!'
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 08 2018
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection...
Judge says, "First offender?"
She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"
π︎ 96
π
︎ Nov 03 2016
A women is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.
The judge asks her, "First offender?"
She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 24 2018
What do you call a short court trial?
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︎ Jun 13 2017
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