A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. โ€œFirst offender?โ€ the judge asked.

โ€œNoโ€ she replied. โ€œFirst a Gibson , then a Fenderโ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/justbeatitTTD
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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The prosecutor offered the ballet dancer two choices after she did not pay her mountain of parking tickets. A) Say guilty, pay them off, and get probation for 6 months or B) Say Not Guilty and go to trial and perhaps serve 6 months in jail.

She took plea A.

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Letting you all know that I've volunteered for the Russian vaccine trials held here in Melbourne. I received my first shot at 9.00 am this morning

Itโ€™s completely safe with ะธo side effects whatsoeveั, and im currently feelshฮบฮน ฯ‡oฯoshฯŒ ั ั‡ัƒะฒัั‚ะฒัƒัŽ ัะตะฑั ะฝะตะผะฝะพะณะพ ัั‚ั€ะฐะฝะฝะพ ะธ ั ะดัƒะผะฐัŽ, ั‡ั‚ะพ ะฒั‹ั‚ะฐั‰ะธะป ะพัะปะธะฝั‹ะต ัƒัˆะธ.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/neo-1000
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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A man in a drug trial died from a complication which dissolved his pneumogastric nerve, the coroner listed the cause of death as...

"in vivo lost vagus"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VeryOriginalName98
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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When I tried to admit new evidence to the trial, the judge threw a Granny Smith at me...

I then remembered it's an apple-late court.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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They celebrate the trials and tribulations of the inventors of Kotex today during Women's History Month!

It's a rags to riches story

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
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Why were all the witnesses at Shakira's trial THJR replacement patients?

Because hips don't lie.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DiamondChocobos
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
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A lawyer and a law maker had been in an argument for several years, escalating into a bet to see who would break the law first. The lawyer then found himself in a trial against the law maker.

The law maker was outlawed.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/N1ch0l2s
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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Why was the Christmas tree on trial?

Treason.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dasvott
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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During a trial, the judge called me egotistical and conceited.

I am appealing.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
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The prosecuting attorney would lose every trial because he was too namby-pamby...

He had a lack of conviction that led to a lack of conviction.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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Did you hear about the 4 men who were recently on trial for robbing a calendar shop of 8 calendars?

They all got 2 years each.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/74CK
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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When all hope was lost in the courtroom, the defendant attorney suddenly came out of some luggage and won the trial with efficiency and success.

It was a brief case.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BustZaNuto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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An update after the trial.

The trial has been going on for over 12 days now and we thought you guys should know what we are doing. After reading your comments and messages it looks like you guys like the sub as a self-posts only sub, so the mods have decided, after throughly discussing it, that it is a good idea to remain this way for the foreseeable future.

If you guys have any more suggestions to improve your dadjoking experience, let us know in the comments or send the mods a message.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/parin89
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 12 2013
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Watching the Oscar Pistorius trial on tv with my dad.

Dad looks at me and says,

"He doesn't have a leg to stand on."

Looks back at the tv.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/undeadzombie12
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 17 2014
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A bit nervous, but yesterday I volunteered for the COVID-19 vaccine trials.

The vaccine is one that was created in Russia. I received my first shot this morning at 7:00 am, and I wanted to let you all know that itโ€™s completely safe, with ะธo side effects whatsoeveั, and that I feelshฮบฮน ฯ‡oฯoshฮฟฬ ั ั‡ัƒะฒัั‚ะฒัƒัŽ ัะตะฑั ะฝะตะผะฝะพะณะพ ัั‚ั€ะฐะฝะฝะพ ะธ ั ะดัƒะผะฐัŽ, ั‡ั‚ะพ ะฒั‹ั‚ะฐั‰ะธะป ะพัะปะธะฝั‹ะต ัƒัˆะธ.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/pot8toes
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asks her, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ruchi565
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
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So a women is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. During her court hearing the judge asks, "First offender?"

The woman says, "No first a gibson, then a fender."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rei7689
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 06 2015
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A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson, then a Fender!"
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dimkal
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 24 2018
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