GF: What's that?
BF: Remorse code.
Troy Story.
My dad passed away about 3 years ago. Now that I am a dad as well I thought I would pass on his favorite joke, bear with me cuz its long, but worth it...
A poor man who lives in a straw hut wants to to impress his neighbor. So he works for 3 months, enough to buy a fancy chair at the market. He calls his neighbor over for dinner one night and has him sit in the chair at dinner. He asks his neighbor, " isn't this a very nice chair? " To which the neighbor replies "it's okay i guess"...
Heartbroken, after the neighbor leaves, the man takes the chair upstairs and puts it in a closet and thinks.. maybe it was not a nice enough chair...
He then works 6 months, leaves his little straw hut and hitches a ride to the city and buys an extravagant chair with velvet padding. Once again he has his neighbor over for dinner, this time the neighbor says "it's nice, but I've seen better"
Sad, the man stores the chair in the upstairs closet. But the man could not be deterred.
He then worked for an entire year, left his little straw hut and went all the way to the capitol and bought a gaudy, gold painted chair with lion motifs and silk pillows.
The neighbor comes over to dinner and says. "Wow, what an ugly chair!"
Furious, the man grabs the chair, marches upstairs and throws it in the closet with such force that his entire straw hut collapses.
I guess people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones...
Can't believe I've spent all that money and have nothing to chauffer it.
He always wants to practice his chipping.
It feels like ancient history.
¿Qué dijo la gallina de un lado del camino a la gallina del otro lado del camino?
“¡PA’CA! ¡PA’CA!”
English:
What did the chicken on one side of the road say to the chicken on the other side of the road?
“Over here! Over here!”
(“Pa’ca” means “over here” in colloquial Spanish)
(I’m of Cuban descent for reference)
Google: Ok... But you’re not gonna like it...
“Howya bean pop?”
One has two t’s...
I replied: “No son, but have you seen my dad glasses?”
He said, "oui, wee."
Because the oignon est!
I call it the 0k boomer experiment.
Like, what are the odds they were all named Miles? Crazy.
"woof" guy replies
“Si, está.”
The man orders a Big Mac and a large fries. His wife orders a single cheeseburger. When the woman finishes her burger she glances at her husband. He has finished his burger and is moving onto the fries.
Still hungry, she looks at the fries and asks, 'Do you mind if I have a couple?'
He sighs and says, 'I suppose so,'
So she reaches over and takes a handful. The husband turns to her and asks, 'Is that a German couple?'
Confused, she responds, 'What is a German couple?'
He says, 'nein' as he slides his food out of her reach.
It's probably why they didn't sell many in Latin America.
It means my illegal logging business is a success
Eins -> one
So I changed it to Algo Más.
Translate.
My 3 year old brother came up to me (and everyone else in the house several times each) to tell a joke he made up (translated from Turkish but works in English anyway).
3yo: Do you need to go to the bathroom (a question we ask him frequently)?
Me: No
3yo: Are you sure?
Me: Yes?
3yo: Oh, hi Sure!
It feels like ancient history.
It feels like ancient history.
It feels like ancient history.
