The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
Now everyone's mad it runs fast.
That's when I knew that we weren't going to work out.
He asked the coach, “What number shirt am I?”
The coach said “Wear four out there, Romeo”.
They just pick things up as they go along.
Not much, you pick it up as you go along.
"Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"
I just have to work out a few Kinks.
Now I have CO vid 19.
I said “You don’t need training for that! You just pick it up as you go along”
Guess that makes me a papa troll.
few months later, i was court marshalled for murdering a superior by the name of "drill sergeant will"
My wife is pregnant with our first child so I'm stepping up my joke game to reach dad level.
Mother's day was not so long ago, and since she isn't a mother yet but only a future mother, I didn't get her flowers I only got her seeds, which are future flowers.
At least I found it hilarious and so did she. Hope you guys enjoy this!
He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.
He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.
When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.
“Something I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.
Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.
“That’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. “I’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”
So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.
He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.
“Master Yoda!” he asks. “What did I do wrong?”
Yoda replies sagely, “A Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”
I interrupted her and told her that it is in fact called a toy-let.
Because he tried to force it.
Good sit go.
Use the forks, Luke.
I have this step by step manual!
It will help you in the long run.
Dad, I’m not a girl, I don’t wear dresses!
He tells me to lift something and I say no
but you really just pick it up as you go
None, you just pick it up as you go along
fishlam.
Son: So I gather.
I have to say it really shucks.
A Spec-U-Later
IT exec: can I borrow your power cord? Me: why? Do you need some Apple juice?
He was their Grill Sergeant.
He's on a Sifu diet.
Because most people are told to fall back on their training.
He was just winging it
Because... maybe they like fast food
So I pushed her over.
But I couldn’t ever get the dog to sit there and watch it
I just have to work out a few Kinks.
They just pick things up as they go along.
They just pick stuff up as they go
They just pick it up as they go.
"Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"
"Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"
They just pick things up as they go along.
