What do you call a group of ravens trying bring crows together?
A conspiracy to commit murder.
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︎ Jun 05 2021
What do you call 2 birds stuck together?
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︎ Feb 21 2021
My ex girlfriend and I are no longer dating, but we get together for brunch once in a while.
We are friends with Benedict.
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︎ Jun 05 2021
What do people in Finland say when they complete something together?
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︎ Jun 03 2021
I knew someone who collected watches. They'd link the watches all together into a sort of belt.
I thought it was a waist of time.
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︎ Jun 01 2021
They have put together their own Mircosoft Teams
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︎ May 04 2021
When 2 things just work together perfectly they're a
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︎ Apr 05 2021
What do you call crows that stick close together?
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︎ Mar 19 2021
They asked me how I put the wood together so well.
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︎ Apr 25 2021
Ancient South American owls always worked together secretly.
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︎ Apr 12 2021
So, if you put Arlington County in Virginia together with Washington, D.C.,
Could that area be called AC/DC?
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︎ Apr 27 2021
The mayor in my city just passed law that male best friends have to have lunch together at least once a week
Well itโs not a law itโs a mandate
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︎ Nov 20 2020
One day all mathematical signs gathered together in order to go into an adventure. Right before they were leaving, they didn't let the equal sign go with them.
They wanted to live an adventure without equal
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︎ May 14 2021
Several religious groups are banding together to outlaw adult toys.
Their reasoning is the Bible says, "It's Adam and Eve, not Florence + the Machine."
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︎ May 15 2021
My son turned 21 today and as we were about to share our first drink together, I wisely advised him, "Remember, vodka may not be the answer!"
"But itโs worth a shot!"
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︎ Apr 05 2021
I'm putting together a book of tried and true recipes, none of which will include thyme as an ingredient.
>!I've decided the title is going to be 'Thymeless Classics'!<.
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︎ Feb 22 2021
I donโt mean to brag, but I just put a puzzle together in 1 day...
and the box said 2-4 years!
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︎ Oct 24 2020
I'm trying to get better at making jokes from blending words together, but all my attempts turn out bad
Despite all my effort, I can't produce more than a poormansteau at best
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︎ Mar 23 2021
What do you call a family that smokes weed together?
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︎ Apr 01 2021
Pre- means before. Post- means after. To use both prefixes together,
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︎ Sep 19 2020
How can I get someone to hang out with me, laugh at each otherโs jokes, and maybe share some fun platonic experiences together throughout our lives?
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︎ Dec 21 2020
My 2 pet birds got stuck together, so I took them to the vets to see what they could do.
Apparently, he couldn't do anything, because it was just....
Toucan-fusing.
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︎ Mar 29 2021
Hersheyโs and Ikea have joined together to sell a chocolate pet.
Just picked up a Kรฏt Kaรกt. Now to put it together...
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︎ Feb 15 2021
After 12 years together, I just found out my wife hates jokes about perforated paper.
She thinks they're tearable.
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︎ Mar 30 2021
I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together.
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︎ Mar 02 2021
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, โDad get out of the way!โ
I said, โYouโre the ones blocking!โ
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︎ Jun 27 2020
Last night I accidentally superglued my thumb and forefinger together...
But donโt worry...it will be ok. ๐๐ป
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︎ Nov 14 2020
Lettuce come together
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︎ Dec 13 2020
What do you call two Milk Duds fused together?
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︎ Feb 21 2021
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, โGet out. We donโt serve rope in here.โ So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, โHey! Arenโt you the rope that I just threw out?โ
The rope replied, โNo. Iโm a frayed knot.โ
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︎ May 27 2020
Joe Biden and Kamala Harris go out for a morning run together
Kamala finishes in just under twelve minutes and Joe is already waiting for her at the finish line.
"How'd you do?" she asks him.
"I finished in 10 minutes and 46 seconds. That's got to be a new record among Presidents, right?"
"No" Kamala replies. "Bush did 9:11".
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︎ Jan 25 2021
A pediatric surgeon sewed his kids together as a new form of punishment.
If you canโt beat โem, join โem.
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︎ Jan 03 2021
I got a bunch of crows together and tried to teach them how to sing
But it just resulted in a cacawphony
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︎ Jan 29 2021
What causes all the super-yachts to squeeze together in the same tourist spots?
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︎ Feb 17 2021
What do you get when you cross a bear and a mountain lion together?
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︎ Feb 19 2021
A group of ant's working together is called
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︎ Jan 30 2021
The cast from Pulp Fiction tested positive with Covid after going camping together:
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︎ Jan 20 2021
What kind of glue can you use to hold ice blocks together?
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︎ Dec 20 2020
Lancelot: Men, this is a project where we all need to work together.
Arthur: Unite?
Lancelot: Yes I am.
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︎ Feb 01 2021
I know why beer and frog legs go together so well!
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︎ Jan 25 2021
Can you believe that they are still together after all of the crap they have been through?
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︎ Jan 18 2021
I attached all my watches together, to make a belt
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︎ Mar 09 2021
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day.
And the box said 2-4 years.
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︎ Mar 26 2021
Proud!! I just put a puzzle together, it only took 2 days.
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︎ Feb 27 2021
What do you call birds that stick together?
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︎ Nov 12 2020
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