Collectively speaking, which are the richest animals on the planet?

Chickens... All of them have at least one buck.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gdubluu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Pets, puns and dictators

Help wanted from r/puns!

I am planning to make my girlfriend a picture calendar for 2015 of some dog/ cat based puns of famous dictators. I'm running short of ideas, and so am turning to Reddit, given their penchant for all things pets and puns.

My ideas so far:

Adolf Kitler

Chairman miaow

Kitty Amin

Ho chi(huahua) Min

Robert Pugabi

Colonel Catdafi

Saddam Hussaint Bernard

Benito Pussolini

Fidel Catstro

I'm looking to Reddit's collective pun power to generate some more ideas. Help me punslingers!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/reddallthat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2014
🚨︎ report
I think my wife is covering my rifle collection with glue.

She's denying it, but I'm sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What does Reese Witherspoon call her gun collection?

Reese’s Pieces

πŸ‘︎ 472
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andrewleckrone
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
My collection of irreplaceable French movies was stolen.

C'est la D vie D

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrgraff
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Rick Astley doesn't mind giving away his Disney movies collection...

But he's still never gonna give you Up. Especially remastered in 4k.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
The FBI was shocked to uncover the inspirations of the train collecting serial killer.

He had loco-motives

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigscarydaniel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Why should you never marry someone that likes collecting weird coins

They have no common cents

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/youtyj
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I inherited my dad's collection of shallow flat receptacles with a raised edge, used for carrying, holding, or displaying articles.

I feel betrayed.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine has starting collecting mirrors

Personally, I don't know what he sees in them.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xholdsteadyx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
My record collection includes Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Tom Petty. It’s almost a full Heartland Rock set...

Close, but no Seger.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theRiverknows86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
A woman was on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection

the judge says: "First offender" The woman replies: "No, first a Gibson, the a Fender"

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Pokemon cards? Yeah i've got a small collection.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BedHeadBread
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My son told me he wanted to start a change collection.

I told him that makes a lot of cents.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/racismisgay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What type of portal collects things?

An aggregate

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaphpath
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the dad who has the world's largest candy cane collection?

They're all in mint condition.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/culculain
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The cows on my dairy farm have all decided to form a new financial vehicle made up of a pool of money collected from many cows to invest in securities...

It's a mootual fund.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the man who only collected rare pennies?

He didn't have a lot of common cents.

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/d3hall
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I have started collecting old settees....

I've got 12 sofa.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My gf made me give away my collection of dead batteries

They were free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/postymcpostface21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm obsessed with collecting old Beatles records. My friends say I need help..

..but I've already got that one.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Button_FC
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I decided to sell my vacuum...

It was only collecting dust.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kameemo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife hates my collection of old snake skins.

So I have to keep them in the shed.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I knew a guy who collected watches

He would link them all together into a sort of belt β€” I thought it was a waist of time.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jetavator
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
They're only called gargoyles if they collect and spout rain water.

They should be called... gargles.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/allthecoffeesDP
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I considered converting my wardrobe to house my board game collection, but was worried about losing clothing space.

It was trivial per suit.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PythagorasJones
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
More than 1 000 pieces of music by Johann Sebastian Bach have been preserved,

along with nearly 900 by Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach, nearly 400 by Johann Christian Bach, more than 300 by Johann Christoph Friedrich Bach, and nearly 200 by Wilhelm Friedemann Bach.

Together with as many as 200 more surviving compositions by other members of the Bach dynasty, scholars estimate that about 3 000 works are preserved in total, a collection that we today know as the Baroque Bach mountain.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MetaEd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I used to have a job collecting leaves

I was raking it in

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the collective noun for a group of Japanese calligraphy comedians?

Comic sans

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Octopus-Pawn
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I need a collection of these
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the bank hire a dog that collects sticks?

They needed a new branch manager.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MarioMakerProcess
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.

He was charged with attempted murder.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brainsonastick
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection.

Of course she denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My private pun collection
πŸ‘︎ 351
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Emotional_Plenty
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I once went on a date that ended with me and the girl sleeping together. After sex she lit a cigarette and told me me all about her hobby: collecting roadkill and pinning it to her wall. Well, there's no way I could see her after that...

Smoking is such a turn off.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slatersays22
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
sit on flour to collect nectar
πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/homodemen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
There’s a saying in math that goes, β€œIt’s as easy as solving a collection of symbols that jointly express a quantity.”

I though it was an odd expression

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/schutwo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?

A Lot

πŸ‘︎ 101
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/semanticdm
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Rumor has it that I’ve been sentenced to the gallows.

Please collect me if I’m wrung.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Why does an otter collect parts for his spaceship?

So he can go to otter space

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WashingYoda
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the fool start collecting little insects after learning about covid?

He figured he needed antibodies

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Snugl-v203
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating up a unfaithful rockstar husband with his guitar collection

The judge asked her, β€œfirst offender” β€œNo,” she says β€œfirst a Gibson then a Fender

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I've just started collecting old settees....

I've got 12 sofa.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm addicted to collecting vintage Beatles albums.

I need Help!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cokedupbunny
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner...

Well, it was just collecting dust.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beej2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I will give you my entire Pixar collection

But I am never gonna give you Up

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ultimateadem
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.