How does United Airlines treat their passengers?

[removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honeygar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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What did the Commanding General of the United States Army say after having his budget approved?

Tanks for that.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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There's a department of the United Nations which tries to improve the quality of food in restaurants.

UNEEDCHEF

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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The United States Postal Service got jokes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreenLeafGreg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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My kids were watching a show about identical twins re-united after being separated at birth, and in disbelief that they were wearing matching outfits when they met up.

I said, well, they do have the same genes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zion2199
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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News broke today that due to salmonella concerns, there is a national recall on just about every type of onion in the united states...

To be honest, I'm not shedding any tears over it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thejohnblog
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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What's the difference between the United States and United Kingdom

One word

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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TIL The 1st United States Volunteer Cavalry, one of three such regiments raised in 1898 for the Spanish–American War, had dogs to go with them...

The were The Ruff Riders.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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What is the opposite of Manchester United?

It's not Manchester City or Liverpool. . . . . . . . . . Ans: Woman breasts are Divided

PS. Thought of it as a kid. Very high probability that other people have also thought of this. Cracked this in front of a friend who asked me to post here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DelhiUnderbelly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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A judge is hearing a case. 'The people V. United Parcel Service' and determines that the trucks area nuisance and a danger to the town. He decides to ban all their trucks from the town and calls his ruling:

'UPS Truck Shun of Justice'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnexampledSalt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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My friend tried to ride his horse from Maine to the Southwestern United States for a type of bean but was hit by an older Ford...

It was a pinto.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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What was the 16th president of the United States told before the dinner party?

Ay bring ham, Lincoln.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Keepscrollin-u
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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The United States is a cancer.

Its birthday is July 4th.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/conundrumbombs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
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I hear the United States is well stocked for a bird-of-prey flu epidemic...

There are plenty of ill eagle drugs for just such emergency.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
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Missouri has the most bordering states (8, tied with tennessee) out of any of the 50 United States of America. You know what they say, Missouri loves company.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudemanandnewman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2017
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Today is Boxing Day in the UK, Canada, New Zealand, and Australia. Do you know when Boxing Day is celebrated in the United States?

Black Friday

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justainsel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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If the United States annexed all of Canada and multiplied it’s area by two, what would you get?

WSA

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shortordercook
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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Nevada is the NV of the United States.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazy-helljumper
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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My meditative friend just got hired as a stewardess for United Airlines...

She's now on a higher plane of existence!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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We need to add three more states to the United States of America

53 states would make it a prime number; One nation, indivisible.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BradC
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2017
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Did you hear about the doctor on the United flight?

[removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AYKW
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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In the United States, you’re American.

But in the bathroom, European.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RemarkableRyan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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My office space is a cubicle, president of the United States has an oval.

Someone has been cutting corners.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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Last week, a freshman secret service officer stopped an assassination attempt on the president of the United States by screaming β€œMickey Mouse”!

When his superior congratulated him for the arrest, he asked β€œWhy did you scream Mickey Mouse?” And the secret serviceman said β€œI was trying to say Donald Duck!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GPyleFan11
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
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News channels when Boris Johnson visits the Queen of the United Kingdom...

Queen receives BJ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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Which branch of military is the most patriotic in the United States?

The Air Force, because they're US AF.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noir_Reaper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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President Trump has announced a ban on all shredded cheese in the United States.

In doing so he promises to Make America Grate Again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayZinnet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Which Prussian car united Germany into one country?

Auto Bahn Bismarck!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PondanNaya
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Breakfast, brought to you by the 7th Secretary General of the United Nations.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ukuleleemusic
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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what do you call an air conditioning unit in the capital of the united states?

ACDC

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shredhead15
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
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What is the longest name for a boy in the United States, but not in most other countries?

Miles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roivas14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My foreign friend moved to the United States and brought his sick bird with him.

Unfortunately, he was arrested for being an ill-eagle immigrant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cany0udance
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
If someone ever throws something at the President of the United States during an important press conference with other world leaders, what should you scream?

DONALD DUCK!!!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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I was throwing darts at a map of the continental united states when I...

Mich'd, again!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/minegam
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What was the 16th president of the United States told before a dinner party?

Ay, bring ham, Lincoln

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mush_Tilly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Doctor on the United Flight?

(removed)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kolshpa
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Which branch of the United States military is the most patriotic?

The Air Force; they're US AF

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smithmonkey98
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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The United States Air Force is more than American...

It's USAF.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vaxis2113
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
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There's a department of United Nations which tries to improve the quality of food in restaurants.

UNEEDCHEF

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report

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