One of my coworkers said today is her thirty second birthday.

I asked her how she could possibly get anything done in such a short amount of time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mlucasr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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It’s a five minute walk from my house to the pub, but a thirty-five minute walk from the pub to my house.

The difference is staggering.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sisrael81
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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Two Thirty, heard this pun a thousand times growing up in a house of dentists.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ewriella
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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I've been Internet hacking for almost thirty years, and now I want to give it up.

Can someone point me to an Anonymous Anonymous group?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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Yesterday I celebrated my thirty second birthday.

It just seems a little unfair that I only get half of a minute when everyone else gets the whole day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/killerbuttonfly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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If you're in your mid to late thirties, chances are you were born in the...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordJimsicle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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Thanks to our mutual dislike of newspaper puzzles, my wife and I have enjoyed a long and happy marriage. Thirty years and...

...never a crossword...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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I invited all my friends over for my thirty second birthday

After half a minute they all went home.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leyline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
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Pun Thirty
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awells1012
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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If you're in your mid to late thirties in 2019, chances are you were born in the

T T T T T T T T

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordJimsicle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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Did you hear the one about the girl who didn’t grow a butt until her thirties?

The called her Slowly-Butt Shirley

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeroOfAnetheron
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
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What do you get when you divide thirty-two by two?

Another day older and a-deeper in debt.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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Can you be here at Poo-Thirty?
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
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Got talking to a very cool old man. After finding out he was from England, a World War Two vet and has spent the last thirty two years in the states I had to ask..

Me: so what brought you to the states?

Him: An airplane.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skip_Ransom
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2014
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I told my teacher that my bathroom break was only gonna be ten minutes. I got back thirty minutes later.

Turns out I was full of shit.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
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Me: If you take the 407 toll road it'll cost you to thirty bucks. Grandma: thirty bucks?! That's highway robbery!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paddlescab
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2017
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You know, I've been on this planet for thirty-seven years, amd I've only got two small vices

http://i.imgur.com/LiRlSov.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/8979323
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2017
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Dad can I borrow thirty dollars?

Dad: "Twenty dollars?... What do you need ten dollars for?"

(Credit to the dad from "The perks of being a wallflower" movie, at least that's where I just heard it)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wulle83
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2015
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I've been an actual father for thirty years and at least one of the three at least once or twice a season still asks me what it's like out.

Is it nice out? It's so nice out I almost left it out. Is it cold out? I don't know. The temperature is so low I couldn't take it out. Is it hot out? I don't know. Ask your mom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hypoppa
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2015
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