Because weβre all the third world from the sun!
I named him Meat Loaf because he would do anything for love, but he wonβt do that.
A little sus
It was There and Beck again.
Personally, I just do Nazi it.
At this rate, he will never be there on time.
He really needed to get that off his chest.
The bartender sees them and immediately yells at the bouncer, βHey!! Stop putting wholes in my bar!!β
This one seems to be lasting a maternity.
Men are now working around the clock.
From now on no joke will be published without their scents of humour.
...and quickly lost everything.
It was all four naughts.
Finally he quit his job as a teacher.
I chime in, "Sounds like MILKroeconomics 101."
She still treats me like number two.
βI shall leave no tern unstoned.β
Being tired and weary, the lawyer-onion isn't sure whether to go, but decides he needs cheering up.
So he dresses smartly, puts on his favorite aftershave and heads over to his friend's.
He gets to the party to find it quite a packed affair and heads over to the bar - fighting through crowds of reveller-onions - to get a drink.
As he gets to the bar, he notices in one corner a slightly out-of-place female onion.
She looks a bit sad and being the compassionate onion that he is, he heads over to talk to her.
This is quickly affirmed as a good move, as they hit it off immediately; she was abandoned by her friends shortly after arriving and had been minding her own business ever since, but over a night of drinks and talking, they quickly fall into an infatuation and soon end up spending an oniony night of passion together.
When they awake in the morning, they don't find it awkward and a steady relationship between the two is struck.
This lasts a good while, having its ups and downs like any college relationship, but eventually the day comes when they both graduate.
The two couldn't be happier!
They both get jobs close to one another and move into an apartment together.
One day, the partner-onion is anxiously awaiting the lawyer-onion at home.
She's been ill all day and checking has confirmed her suspicions.
She tearfully - and joyfully - breaks the news to the lawyer-onion; they're going to have a tiny baby-onion together.
A shallot, if you will.
A few days later, this prompts the lawyer-onion to propose to his heretofore girlfriend-onion.
They are soon wed, having a fantastic wedding-day and husband and wife-onions are on top of the world.
The day comes of the birth and no complications - a tiny, healthy baby onion is born to two proud parents.
Seeing this little bundle of oniony love in their arms causes them to fall deeper in love than ever.
Over the next few years, husband-and-wife-onions' lives are fantastic.
He's prospering at work, she's really enjoying taking some time to raise the baby-onion and over time the baby-onion grows into a hale and hearty toddler-onion, who then becomes a child-onion.
One day, the idyll of the onions' lives is shattered when tragedy strikes.
The lawyer-onion (now a partner-onion in a prestigious law firm due to chance and hard work) is at work, and mother-onion is washing dishes and watching her child play in the yard.
She glances away to take another plate and turns her vision back to
... keep reading on reddit β‘That's the bases of the sport.
Jerky
Phillip the 3rd
It's my last resort!
Edit: changed "it was" to "it's"
, dad jokes.
Would have been two tiring...
You are my root
You know Erin, I keep giving you away but they keep giving you back
Spiderman is sent to Australia to combat a new deadly villian and is being called "Spiderman Home and Away"
You could say they're your sole mates
Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): I have come up with a plan so cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel.
Baldrick (Tony Robinson): Morning, Mr. B.
Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Leave me alone, Baldrick. If I wanted to talk to a vegetable, I would have bought one at the market.
[Referring to a suicide pill they have both been given, after being captured by French revolutionaries]
Baldrick (Tony Robinson): Iβm glad to say you wonβt be needing that pill, Mr. B.
Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick, or are the words βI have a cunning planβ marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?
Baldrick (Tony Robinson): They certainly are.
Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Well, forgive me if I donβt do a cartwheel of joy; your record in this department is hardly 100%. So what is it?
Baldrick (Tony Robinson): We do nothing β¦
Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Yup, itβs another world-beater.
Baldrick (Tony Robinson): No, wait. We do nothing β¦ until our heads have actually been cut off.
Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): And then we β¦ spring into action?
Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): [to Baldrick] Unless I think of something, tomorrow we go to meet our Maker: in my case God, in your case God knows.
Baldrick (Tony Robinson): Sounds like a bag of grapefruits to me, Mr B.
Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): The phrase, Baldrick, is βa case of sour grapesβ β and yes it bloody well is.
Mrs. Miggins: The Scarlet Pimpernel, Mr. Blackadder! Heβs so exciting, donβt you think?
Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Actually, I think heβs the most over-rated human being since Judas Iscariot won the AD31 Best Disciple Competition.
http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/funny-quotes-from-blackadder-the-third/
I'm so c sick.
I said "Give it a break, will you?".
Transparency.
I'm surprised you never heard of Hitler's rice to power
The beans are ground.
it's quite the meowful.
The nurse, my wife, and my mom discussing how he "came so early"
I interject with "I guess you could say he has a problem with, premature evacuation"
To my surprise they all actually laughed hard.
He really needed to get it off his chest.
At this rate, heβll never be in class on time.
At this rate, he will never be in class on time.
