The sign in the hospital parking garage said Patient Discharge.

That explained the stains next to it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IamREBELoe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage?

It was wrong on so many levels.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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Why can't Superman ever drive to the top level of the parking garage?

Because he always stays in the Lois Lane

Kill me pls

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ts84g
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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What did the parking garage say to the road?

Not a lot.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWackyPenguin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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Waiting in a line of cars in the parking garage...

Dad: We better turn off the fan, or we'll all get exhausted.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2015
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My dad is driving the car out of a parking garage...

...and my little brother from the back seat says,

Brother: we just made four right turns in a row.

Dad: it's a good thing we haven't made any wrong turns yet.

Dammit Dad.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prince_la
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2013
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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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My boyfriend is a big car guy

And he’s fun to mess with.

The other day we drove by a super dusty Porsche in the parking garage at our apartment.

He sadly says β€œI feel bad for that Porsche”

I responded β€œwhat’s a sha?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KristyKreme13
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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When my dad and his brothers were little, my grandpa would always ask them, "who wants to go park?!"

They would all get excited thinking they were going to go play in the park, they'd all load up in the car, and my grandpa would back the car out of the garage and park it on the curb outside the house.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HardcoreDesk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2017
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On a trip to Universal Studios

This was quite a while ago, I was probably in middle school (currently 26). My family took a quick day trip to Universal Studios Hollywood since we live in the greater LA area. Now to set the scene, my dad is a native of Mexico but has lived here since his late teens so his English is pretty good with a tinge of an accent since Spanish is his primary language. We park in the parking garage on property and we do the usual "make a mental note of where we parked for later". That's when I see a smirk come across his face as he turns to me laughing under his breath.

-"What's so funny?"

-"Notice where we parked?"

-"Yeah. Jurassic Park lot, 3B"

Cue dad

-"Jurassic Park..." half expecting me to laugh. He continues "Jurassic Park... Jurr-Ass-is-Parked"

facepalm

As terrible as it was at the time, I've tried to pull this joke out with friends years later, eye rolls and crickets. Thanks dad.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lpmark04
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2015
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Every time we drive past...

a Yard Sale.

Dad: "Who would sell just the yard, what about the house?"

a Garage Sale.

Dad: "Where are they going to park their cars then?"

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smbrickner
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2013
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