Jerry Seinfeld keeps looking for bargains.

What’s the deal with that?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Torley_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
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Seinfeld and Kramer can't find Elaine...

She left a note saying "I'm leaving tonight for a new life"

The two of them try to track her down, but all efforts fail to find exactly where she is. They search all of the Americas, Europe, Asia, Antarctica, and Australia with no luck, so they ask Toto to help out.

Eventually, using process of elimination, Toto says to Seinfeld and Kramer, "I guess Elaine's down in Africa."

EDIT: Added bits to clarify and help set up the joke. I thought of it this morning after 1.5 hours of sleep so it wasn't well-written at all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aurrutia214
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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I heard Jerry Seinfeld got new glasses.

He was having trouble with his observational comedy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
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What kind of jokes do quarantined comedians tell?

Inside jokes.

(Adapted from WFAN host Steve Somers while talking to Jerry Seinfeld today on the air)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tumalditamadre
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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Do you know how to make holy water?

You just boil the hell out of it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dani_SF
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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Its punning on a whole new level.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankmonseiur69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2018
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Did you hear about the spider pursuing a career in IT?

He’s a natural web developer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Souplorde
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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I thought Friday is a sad day.

Turns out tomorrow is sadder day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
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Why did the guitar player always carry a camera with him?

To make sure he'd never run out of pics.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rezanator11
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2018
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Police, police, help. There are two women fighting for me.

-Is that so? And what’s the problem? -The ugly one is winning

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yubimarcano
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2018
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What's the deal with parallel parking? It should be called co-linear parking, parking in a parking lot is parallel parking!

My dad was a math teacher and thinks he's Seinfeld.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/USAFacts
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2014
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Got my wife on a regular ol Tuesday night.

She had left the room and I moved her wine glass to make room for folding laundry. She returned and asked, "Where'd my glass go?" So I gave my slyest wink and said, "Scotland?" ...She thought that was so hilarious and awesome she *showered me with sweet love late into the night. *(or she groaned and rolled her eyes and we folded laundry while watching Seinfeld reruns)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chronstoppable
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2014
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Holy Water

Dad: How do you make Holy water?

Me: Idk... How?

Dad: You boil the hell out of it

Me: ...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryannbajaj
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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