I struggled hard in the bodybuilding contest.
Turns out, I've got atrophy
Two chinese Christians are having a contest to see who can contact God the fastest. After one wins, the other looks at him and says
I've just entered the neighborhoods tightest hat contest..
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre
One of the local radio stations had a "Worst Pun" contest.
The best part was you could submit multiple entries, and I sent in a bunch, at least 10. I figured the more I came up with, one of them had to win.
But, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Did you hear about all the competition in the outdoor pickled cabbage contest?
Did you hear that the guy who got second place in that smoke machine design contest forgot how his prototype worked?
When they asked him about it, he said he didn’t have the foggiest idea.
How did the neckwear contest end?
I won a contest for draining the most water out of a towel...
I'm now known as the Lord of the Wrings.
What was the prize the baker won for winning the bread contest?
Why did Olaf lose the schnitzel-eating contest?
Because Olaf ate six, Sven ate nine.
A rival contestant cheated with a different species of bird at the beak measuring contest...
I thought to myself that toucan play at that game.
My dad won the local hot dog eating contest
He's an Oscar Myer Winner
I won first prize in the National Punctuation Society contest...
So they gave me a posh trophy.
Which Europeans are the best at burping contests?
I would have won the art contest
It looks like some big cat was trying to use steroids to win the contest!
Even though it might look like he's lion, I'm pretty sure he ain't a cheetah
The secret to winning a pun contest is to stuff your shoes with underwear before the contest.
Seems to be working as I'm undie-feeted.
Why was the amateur poet disqualified from the writing contest?
The contest was for prose only.
My win in the staring contest got tossed out.
They claim I tested positive for stare-oids.
Who won the skeleton fitness contest?
Hugh Jackman has signed on for a musical about a contest to create the best snow figures.
Tentative title: The Greatest Snowman
Did you hear about the astronomer who lost the star naming contest?
He was given a constellation prize
I lost the eating contest with the last hamburger still hanging out of my mouth.
I was so close I could taste it.
Two Greek people had a poetry contest. One of them wrote an excellent poem conveying deep emotions. The other person's poem is just one-character long. In the end, the short poem won
I entered a contest where the grand prize was a shopping center, but I lost
Guess you can't win the mall
I submitted a 16:9 picture of my farm to the photography contest.
They didn't like the crop.
Did you hear about the woman who won first place in a sewing contest without using any thread?
Her performance was seamless.
What's the difference between a group of journalists and an amateur poetry contest?
A man entered a pun contest in the newspaper
He placed 10 of his best puns hoping at least one would win. Unfortunately no pun in ten did.
Did you hear what the demolitions expert did to his competition at the poop-joke-making contest?
If a Vienamese human trafficking ring offers one of their captives as the prize of a contest..
is that a win Nguyen scenario?
Did you guys hear about the knot contest?
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
Did you hear about the contest where the participants had to destroy neckwear?
It came down to a tie-breaker!
I barely won the limbo contest!
There was stiff competition.
Why did the Mathematician take meth during an Algebra contest?
Because he needed to solve the problems with speed.
Did you hear about the guy who entered a drinking contest?
Dad! Our cat just won the prize for the 'best cat bum contest!'
Dad: That is a catastrophe
Why couldn't the pony perform in the karaoke contest?
I went to a dadjoke contest, but the crowd turned on me when I started telling puns...
I guess you could say there were some punintended consequences.
Two chinese Christians are having a contest to see who can contact God the fastest. After one wins, the other looks at him and says
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