Tattoo pun. [My first pun post.]
If I get my face tattooed on my body, I'd get AHEAD of myself.
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︎ Jun 09 2019
Whenever my wife is upset I let her color in my black and white tattoos
She just really needed a shoulder to crayon
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︎ Jun 01 2021
saw a girl with a tattoo of a tree on her breast, seems like it would be painful...
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︎ May 08 2021
A man walks into a tattoo parlour holding a small bird in his hands. The tattoo artist looks at him, confused.
The man asked, "Tit for tat?"
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︎ May 22 2021
My dad always said, β Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.β
βShe knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.β
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︎ Mar 26 2021
My wife has the most weird abacus tattoo on her back.
But I can always count on her
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︎ Mar 31 2021
Got a new tattoo
My wife was complaining about how i'm not spontanious or creative, unless it involves terrible jokes, so i went out and got a tattoo (my first one). But since im not very creative i had them tattoo a pic of my thermos from work. I went home all excited and showed her my new tattoo! She was really confused about it. She looked at it for awhile and when she went to touch it i yelled at her not to touch the thermos tat. I think she's leaving me now :(
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︎ Nov 09 2020
If you got a tattoo of a thermos..
You could then tell people you have a thermos-tat.
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︎ Mar 26 2021
My wife wonβt let me get a tattoo of a grizzly on each bicep.
She is infringing on my right to bear arms.
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︎ Nov 10 2020
I work as a tattoo artist in a wellness center making very specific designs and everyone get really surprised when I tell them that I'm also a doctor...
Nobody expects the Spa Niche Ink Physician.
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︎ Mar 01 2021
maui's tattoos
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︎ Feb 14 2021
Iβm going to get a tattoo of a bee.
Itβs probably going to sting but it will be worth it. Credit to /u/louseashole
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︎ Mar 11 2021
Massive protest spread across Madrid earlier today to protest the nation's Supreme Court ruling that bans tattoos.
Nobody accepts the Spanish ink decision.
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︎ Feb 27 2021
See? To prove I'm not boring, I got a tattoo!
Her: oh, cool! What is it?
Me: Its my thermos, from work!
Her: Oh, well um, the line work is really...
Me: Don't touch the thermos-tat!
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︎ Feb 19 2021
Did you know that all Danish Boy Scouts have to get a tattoo?
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︎ Nov 25 2020
Men with tattoos used to make people nervous...
Now they make them lattes.
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︎ Feb 03 2021
Tattoo place wants you to Walken (OC)
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︎ Dec 08 2020
What do danish people call their tattoos?
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︎ Dec 05 2020
A tattoo artist has a guy come in and get a new mark on an expanding list of hash marks. After a few sessions the tattoo artist asks βWhat are you counting?β
And the guy says βhow many tattoos I have nowβ
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︎ Jan 19 2021
So what does everyone think of my new tattoo
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︎ Sep 09 2020
People are always amazed by the skilled tattoo artists in Spain
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision
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︎ Sep 12 2020
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
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︎ Oct 24 2020
My mathematician friend wants to get a tattoo of Pi on his face.
I said, βThatβs irrational.β
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︎ Oct 24 2020
I was going to get a face tattoo but decided to get a neck tattoo instead.
I guess Iβll have to work my way up to it.
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︎ Nov 07 2020
I showed my boobs for a free tattoo the other day.
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︎ Sep 12 2020
People at our Christmas party were impressed when I showed off my incredibly detailed tattoo, but they didn't believe me when I tell them I got it done in Madrid.
Nobody expected the Spanish ink precision.
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︎ Dec 25 2019
Got my first tattoo today
But it was only temporary.
(I see that image posts aren't allowed in this sub but gosh darn it, I earned this one. I throw myself on your mercy, mods.)
(Edit: Amazing, thank you for the silver, gold, and the platinum reward of Reddit: long self referential chains of bad jokes.)
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︎ Feb 14 2019
Me: See? To prove I'm not a boring house dad I went and got a tattoo!
Her: Oh, cool! It's.. uh?
Me: (proudly) It's my thermos! From work!
Her: (reaching towards me) Well, uh, the line work is certainly..
Me: (slaps hand away) Don't touch the thermos tat.
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︎ Jan 13 2020
I got a new tattoo because I wanted my friends to be able to count on me.
It read: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
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︎ Sep 09 2020
I'll never forget when my dad told me, "Find yourself a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you!β A little taken aback, I asked him what he meant. He explained...
βShe knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them!"
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︎ Aug 24 2020
Found Martin Griffiths on comic con, he did commissions and drew me a tattoo :D
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︎ Jun 03 2020
A guy with flame tattoo sleeves walks into a building. Security stops him and says,
There are no firearms allowed in this building.
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︎ Jun 12 2019
What do you call it when a woman trades sex for a tattoo?
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︎ May 02 2020
I'm bald and im going to get a head tattoo of multiple rabbits
So from a distance it looks like hares
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︎ Jan 03 2020
My father recently got a new tattoo
It was of a Thermos flask that he took to work
I was just checking it out closely, just then he said
"Hey, don't touch my Thermos tat"
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︎ Jul 02 2020
My dad just got a tattoo of a Thermos on his palm...
Now whenever someone tries to shake his hand he says "Don't you dare touch my thermos tat!"
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︎ Dec 26 2019
I was going to get a tattoo in Madrid, but the tattoo artist I wanted to go to got in trouble for making some anti government tattoo art, which was quite a surprise
No one expects the Spanish ink sedition
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︎ Dec 31 2019
It's important that your first tattoo is something that means A Lot.
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︎ Dec 21 2018
After getting my calf tattoo'd I thought I'd also get my achilles done
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︎ Jan 18 2019
What did the prostitute tell the tattoo artist?
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︎ Feb 05 2021
My dad always said, β Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.β
βShe knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.β
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︎ Apr 03 2019
People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain.
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
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︎ May 15 2019
I just got a thermos tattoo
Now I tell everyone, donβt touch my thermos tat.
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︎ Aug 31 2020
My dad always told me, βFind a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.β
She knows how to make a bad decision and still stick with it.
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︎ Jul 28 2020
How do you get a free tattoo
By showing your tit.
It's "tit for tat"
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︎ Jun 08 2020
People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain...
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision...
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︎ Dec 20 2018
The best advice my dad gave me was to find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and marry her.
She knows how to make bad decisions, yet stick by them.
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︎ Nov 14 2018
Dad: See? To prove I'm not some boring house dad, I got a tattoo
Mom: Oh cool! It's... uh?
Dad: (proudly) It's my thermos! From work!
Mom: Well, uh, the line work is certainly...
Dad: Don't touch the thermos tat
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︎ Jan 15 2020
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