Tattoo pun. [My first pun post.]

If I get my face tattooed on my body, I'd get AHEAD of myself.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rose_is_Deerest
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Whenever my wife is upset I let her color in my black and white tattoos

She just really needed a shoulder to crayon

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trevor557
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
🚨︎ report
saw a girl with a tattoo of a tree on her breast, seems like it would be painful...

wooden tit?

πŸ‘︎ 193
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aaaaasowenyaaa
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a tattoo parlour holding a small bird in his hands. The tattoo artist looks at him, confused.

The man asked, "Tit for tat?"

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ehhzuulaaa
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
🚨︎ report
My dad always said, β€œ Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”

β€œShe knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”

πŸ‘︎ 240
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OMMOPOWER
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife has the most weird abacus tattoo on her back.

But I can always count on her

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jpereira73
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Got a new tattoo

My wife was complaining about how i'm not spontanious or creative, unless it involves terrible jokes, so i went out and got a tattoo (my first one). But since im not very creative i had them tattoo a pic of my thermos from work. I went home all excited and showed her my new tattoo! She was really confused about it. She looked at it for awhile and when she went to touch it i yelled at her not to touch the thermos tat. I think she's leaving me now :(

πŸ‘︎ 18k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bosozokulove
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
If you got a tattoo of a thermos..

You could then tell people you have a thermos-tat.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nozerone
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife won’t let me get a tattoo of a grizzly on each bicep.

She is infringing on my right to bear arms.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Doc_OToole
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I work as a tattoo artist in a wellness center making very specific designs and everyone get really surprised when I tell them that I'm also a doctor...

Nobody expects the Spa Niche Ink Physician.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DandyBeyond
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
🚨︎ report
maui's tattoos
πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sunflower_44
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I’m going to get a tattoo of a bee.

It’s probably going to sting but it will be worth it. Credit to /u/louseashole

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kittencrimetime
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Massive protest spread across Madrid earlier today to protest the nation's Supreme Court ruling that bans tattoos.

Nobody accepts the Spanish ink decision.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Somethinggood4
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
See? To prove I'm not boring, I got a tattoo!

Her: oh, cool! What is it?

Me: Its my thermos, from work!

Her: Oh, well um, the line work is really...

Me: Don't touch the thermos-tat!

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know that all Danish Boy Scouts have to get a tattoo?

It's their Denmark.

πŸ‘︎ 115
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Men with tattoos used to make people nervous...

Now they make them lattes.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Tattoo place wants you to Walken (OC)
πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thatsagoodpint
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do danish people call their tattoos?

Denmarks

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A tattoo artist has a guy come in and get a new mark on an expanding list of hash marks. After a few sessions the tattoo artist asks β€œWhat are you counting?”

And the guy says β€œhow many tattoos I have now”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deepsea333
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
So what does everyone think of my new tattoo
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CocoPopsGod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
People are always amazed by the skilled tattoo artists in Spain

Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision

πŸ‘︎ 172
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gamer_Noob_69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself

It was very cymbalic.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shooception
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My mathematician friend wants to get a tattoo of Pi on his face.

I said, β€œThat’s irrational.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to get a face tattoo but decided to get a neck tattoo instead.

I guess I’ll have to work my way up to it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gnjm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I showed my boobs for a free tattoo the other day.

A tit for a tat

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/goliathkat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
People at our Christmas party were impressed when I showed off my incredibly detailed tattoo, but they didn't believe me when I tell them I got it done in Madrid.

Nobody expected the Spanish ink precision.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Got my first tattoo today

But it was only temporary.

(I see that image posts aren't allowed in this sub but gosh darn it, I earned this one. I throw myself on your mercy, mods.)
(Edit: Amazing, thank you for the silver, gold, and the platinum reward of Reddit: long self referential chains of bad jokes.)

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theophan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Me: See? To prove I'm not a boring house dad I went and got a tattoo!

Her: Oh, cool! It's.. uh?

Me: (proudly) It's my thermos! From work!

Her: (reaching towards me) Well, uh, the line work is certainly..

Me: (slaps hand away) Don't touch the thermos tat.

πŸ‘︎ 677
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HIGHxCLASSxHOBO
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I got a new tattoo because I wanted my friends to be able to count on me.

It read: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/randomredditor512
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I'll never forget when my dad told me, "Find yourself a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you!” A little taken aback, I asked him what he meant. He explained...

β€œShe knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Found Martin Griffiths on comic con, he did commissions and drew me a tattoo :D
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Albme94
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy with flame tattoo sleeves walks into a building. Security stops him and says,

There are no firearms allowed in this building.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a woman trades sex for a tattoo?

Tit-for-Tatt

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Malak77
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm bald and im going to get a head tattoo of multiple rabbits

So from a distance it looks like hares

πŸ‘︎ 501
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BiscuitaBoyo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My father recently got a new tattoo

It was of a Thermos flask that he took to work

I was just checking it out closely, just then he said

"Hey, don't touch my Thermos tat"

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dadushka008
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad just got a tattoo of a Thermos on his palm...

Now whenever someone tries to shake his hand he says "Don't you dare touch my thermos tat!"

πŸ‘︎ 142
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/koleslaw
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to get a tattoo in Madrid, but the tattoo artist I wanted to go to got in trouble for making some anti government tattoo art, which was quite a surprise

No one expects the Spanish ink sedition

πŸ‘︎ 85
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/allanon101
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
It's important that your first tattoo is something that means A Lot.
πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aurelienne
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
🚨︎ report
After getting my calf tattoo'd I thought I'd also get my achilles done
πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tomsvbored
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the prostitute tell the tattoo artist?

Tit for tat

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ancil5199
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
My dad always said, β€œ Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”

β€œShe knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”

πŸ‘︎ 18k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain.

Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I just got a thermos tattoo

Now I tell everyone, don’t touch my thermos tat.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KingJiggaMan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad always told me, β€œFind a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”

She knows how to make a bad decision and still stick with it.

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get a free tattoo

By showing your tit. It's "tit for tat"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xyz112233
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain...

Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision...

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
The best advice my dad gave me was to find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and marry her.

She knows how to make bad decisions, yet stick by them.

πŸ‘︎ 980
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad: See? To prove I'm not some boring house dad, I got a tattoo

Mom: Oh cool! It's... uh?

Dad: (proudly) It's my thermos! From work!

Mom: Well, uh, the line work is certainly...

Dad: Don't touch the thermos tat

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.