The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people....

......make up 75% of the world's population.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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According to a recent survey...

According to a recent survey, 8 out of 10 people agree that they make up 80% of the population.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cosmic_Fox_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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While filling up a survey, I came across a gender option: Canadian.

I guess I am Eh-sexual.

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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Survey found doctors aren't always honest with their patients. I could have told you that

They always seem to keep a skeleton in their closet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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For a temp job I had to conduct surveys on the street and often times people would reluctantly comply disclaiming to "Keep it short please!"

So my question was: What do you know about dwarves?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Str41nGR
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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Dad: This survey says it will give me a free iphone

Son: Don't trust it, it's probably a scam.

Dad: I don't buy it.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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Did you hear about the recent dwarf survey?

It found 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't Happy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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I got stopped in the street by a lady conducting a survey.

"What do you know about dwarfs?" She asked.

"Very little." I replied.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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Accordian to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ralph-Hinkley
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
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Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences goes largely unnoticed.
πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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According to a survey, the favourite film of most hipsters is β€œRaiders of the Lost Ark”.

It’s the first Indie movie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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There was a survey in the cosmetics department...

...they were asking people to write a couple of their favorite smells on a scrap of paper and put it in a box.

I didn't really have a strong opinion, but I did put my two scents in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hero_of_Thyme81
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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A Government think tank have carried out a survey looking into how people walk home from the pub...

The results are staggering.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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Surveys say 9 out of 10 people have never tried beef tartare.

Apparently it’s very rare.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
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I really have a thing for dumb girls. Just met one who can't fill out multiple choices surveys

She ticks all the boxes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bermobaron
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
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According to a survey, 80% of the people don't know how to use the superlative degree in English.

That's the most stupidest thing that I've ever heard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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According to a survey 40% of the people are terrible at math.

The other 50% don't know grammer and speling.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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Survey Dad: "If we ranked dad-jokes on a scale of 1 to 10, would you rank this one a '10'?"

German Dad: "Nein."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phrawstt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
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I took a survey of everyone's favorite letter, and it turns out nobody likes U
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πŸ‘€︎ u/armsofasquid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2017
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[Meta] A survey about dad jokes

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc5GCRPiUXFzxgaJi5xIoDxiJ6LOJOvcyJ3bWXxXgJBWsWCOw/viewform?usp=sf_link

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πŸ‘€︎ u/offlebagg1ns
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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I survey election habits of Democrats. My friend surveys election habits of Republicans.

We're poller opposites.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garbagearmy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
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Newegg customer service rep reminded me that there was a brief survey at the end of the call.

I responded, "Sorry ma'am, I only wear boxers."

after a long sigh "Very well sir.. have a good day."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Juggy_Brohdletine
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2014
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I hate people who take surveys

They're all so apolling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FISHunderscore
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2016
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A new survey shows Jewish men prefer tea over coffee

But only when it's tea he brew himself

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πŸ‘€︎ u/viperfan7
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
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A recent survey showed that 90% of adult males masturbate regularly

and the remaining 10% are liars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marycartlizer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
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The Arbor Foundation asked my dad if he'd like to take a survey about their trees.

He said he wood.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dogsaretheanswer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2017
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I work for a survey company and we're currently doing some surveying for some airports throughout the state

My coworker/good friend of mine works out in the field performing these surveys and for the latest airport job he said to me that this airport is basically dead and that there's hardly anyone there consistently working in the office, monitoring the radio, etc.

So I asked him, "then what does someone do if they're out flying and want to land there... [start jabbing him with my elbow] just WING it??"

I should be ashamed but I'm still laughing at myself. No I am not a dad (technically).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/prizzaboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2016
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My 2 cents on Google Surveys

http://i.imgur.com/NljG8fo.png

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coffeechipmunk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2016
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My sister had to do a survey about the waste of paper.

-Hey dad, how much paper you use each day?

Around 3 rolls a day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pils123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2013
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Accordion to a recent survey replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ordinarybloke1963
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Accordian to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected.
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ralph-Hinkley
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.
πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AYKW
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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I've just been stopped in the street by a lady conducting a survey.

She asked me what i knew about dwarfs.......I said "very little."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DylanNM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
🚨︎ report
While filling an online survey, I came across a gender option: Canadian.

I think they meant Eh-sexual.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
🚨︎ report
recent survey shows...

...6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mellon_coliee
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
While completing a survey, I came across a gender option: Canadian.

I think they meant Eh-sexual.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hgbleackley
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2015
🚨︎ report
A nationwide survey revealed that 3 out of 4 people

make up 75% of the population.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UndeadVudu_12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2017
🚨︎ report

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