I’m so glad 2020 is over, but I can’t believe we have to go through it again after 2021...

After all, it’s twenty twenty too

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zippy_the_dog
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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It should be illegal for London to go into lockdown over Christmas!

...That's capital punishment!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/queenofthebans
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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I was checking out at the grocery store today and the bagger was holding my stuff over the shopping cart and asked: β€œsir, would you like to go out with the cart?”. To which I replied β€œoh, no thanks I’m actually married”. My poor son looked mortified. Dad joke status ACHIEVED.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaFunkJunkie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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If the earth was flat and fish swam over the edge, where would they go?

Trouter space

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mnb1114
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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I was pulled over with my son in the car for speeding. Got a ticket. Then the officer said I’m free to go.

I replied β€œactually it cost me about $80”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bridgeheadprod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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I wanted to go over to my German girlfriend's house at 8:51...

But she said "nein" to nine to nine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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My friend wanted to go over our act for the variety show...

He said, "let's revue."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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Every time we go over a railroad crossing, I tell my kids...

β€œHey, a train just went by!"

β€œHow do you know daddy?”

β€œBecause its tracks are still here!”

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2017
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If I go bald, I'm going to get rabbits tattooed all over my head.

Because, from a distance, they'll look like hares.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrOsteel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2017
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I took my boat out to go fishing today. I looked over and saw my neighbor’s dock was parallel to mine.

I guess I found my self in a real β€œpara-docks”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tacobob3831
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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Would glass coffins go over well?..

Remains to be seen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/barkingrat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. I proudly proclaimed β€˜Urine luck! There are plenty of places to go at this exit!’ Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beergelden
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
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This might go over the heads of some of the kids on here (x-post from /r/funny)
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Falling_earbuds
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2013
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I tried to go on slimshady.com, but it turns out that the US government has taken it over.

They are citing Eminem Domain.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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A wolf, a fox and a weasel all go to a diner. The waitress comes over and asks them what they want to drink. β€œCoffee” growls the wolf. β€œWater” says the fox...

And β€œPop!” goes the weasel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RichNCrispy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2017
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99% of the dad jokes I tell go straight over peoples heads...

I guess that's what comes with being a pilot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nigatoni27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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A large bee hive can have over 10,000 bees. Where do all those bees go to use the bathroom?

The BP station.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisgoggs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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Waitress comes over to see if we are ready to order by saying "Are we good to go here?"

"No, actually we'd like to stay and eat"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptKirk004
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2017
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Why did the shopper have to go home after getting into a fight over clothes on Black Friday?

Because she got socked in the face.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MajesticSunset7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
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If you're young, this might go over your head
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scottchiefbaker
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2018
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When Hurricane Harvey hit I made a few jokes that didn't go over well. So for this hurricane, Irma not going to do that.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_MostlyHarmless
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2017
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β€œHey how far east did the bunny go? Like somewhere over here?”

β€œNah man, easter”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nobida12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
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I used to go over to my grandmother's house in the middle of the night and drink earl grey with her. It was our ritual. I called this evening out of habit, forgetting she had passed away, and her ghost answered.

I guess you could call it a boo-tea call.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NWmba
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2015
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Where did the dog go to get over his Milkbone addiction?

To the treat-ment center.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sircolincollins
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2017
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I'm going to design decorative sleeves that go over women's handbags and call them...

... Hot Purse Suits

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2014
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Every time I go to the airport with my family, I am filled with fear over how my dad will respond to this sign
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GAU8Avenger
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2013
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Italian Dad Joke doesn't go over well.

http://i.imgur.com/ISSGg9J.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dikbutjenkins
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2013
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