I asked my doctor what I could do about my irritated eyes. He said "check out conjunctivitis.com."
"It's a site for sore eyes."
I proudly showed my son, "Check this out! Bought a new shrub trimmer today!" He shrugged and replied, "That's great, dad." I continued...
"It’s cutting hedge technology!"
If you're ever in India you have to check out my favorite restaurant
Son: Check it out dad, I got a haircut. Whadaya think?
Dad: Looks to me like you got them all cut.
Guy #1: Check out these pictures I took of the wheat fields during my drive in the country
Guy #2: That would explain why they look so grainy
This morning, I told my Australian friend that the store was having a sale, and that he should check it out. He looked up at me, took out his earphones and said...
A gardener said, "I just finished producing some beets, who wants to check them out?"
The cabin replied, "I only play house music."
The windmill said, "not me, I'm a heavy metal fan."
The backhoe said, "I just dig rock."
The plastic baggie said, "I do, I'm a wrapper!"
I glanced up, called my daughter over to the computer and said, "Hey, you like jokes right? Come here and check this one out!"
Check out the Chrome Wheels from Google.
A woman checks out of target with two apples, a banana, and a quart of ice cream. The cashier asks, “Are you single?” The woman replies, “Yes, how could you tell?”
My dad told me to look in the fridge and check out the milk that went bad
Hey, check out my new Bosch dishwasher
My wife is teaching my little ones (3/1) about bugs so they wrote “Ant” in honey on a piece of paper to attract them and set it out on the deck. She was sad When we went out to check later that day, only one was there.
You should have pluralized it and more would have shown up!
Check out my new dutch oven!
Check out the battle scar on my arm. Made from scratch.
When Hurricane Dorian hits Florida, I'm going to check out my window for the clouds to get really grey. When they're at peak greyness I'll take a picture. That way Ill always have The Picture of Dorian Grey.
I had to go to a specialist to check out my bladder. The guy I saw was frickin jacked and kept warning me not to forget an umbrella.
I was like what are you some kinda meaty urologist?
Check yourself out before you check out (credit to u/sptsd)
Check out this handful of doe
Come check out my organic bakery
My friend loves puns and I told her to come check out this page. She kept telling me she couldn’t find it....
Australian chess players would have difficulty playing chess because it'd be very confusing to figure out if it's a check mate or a checkmate.
Posted this on Showerthoughts thought It'd be more appropriate here.
A pod of porpoises moved into the harbor near my town. So, me and my friends decided to go camping on the beach to check it out. We brought beer for us and some raw fish to feed the pod. Everybody had a great time. You could say it was a party
for all in tents and porpoises.
I had a girl check me out yesterday!
She was hot but I didn't catch her signal until it was too late when she handed me my receipt and said "Have a nice day".
I was in Bangkok with my wife recently. I suggested we check out one of the many temples.
She said “wat pho?”
And I said “idk just to get a little culture?”
A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the check, he pulls out a gun, fires it several times, then walks out the door. If you don't get it look up "panda" in the dictionary ...
"Panda: A large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China; eats shoots and leaves."
Since today Merriam Webster even has the word dad joke:
"a wholesome joke of the type said to be told by fathers with a punchline that is often an obvious or predictable pun or play on words and usually judged to be endearingly corny or unfunny"
Check out the big white cock on this dude!
A boy was sitting at home playing video games when suddenly his dad bursts in through the front door and says, “Son, look, check out my new AirPods!”
The boy looks at his father’s ears but sees nothing. “Dad, there’s nothing there.”
“Yeah I know, they’re literal!”
yo guys check it out, i drew deadpool.
Check out this tailgater acting like he's all that.
http://i.imgur.com//uwSE0DV.jpg
I went through the self-check out today.
I looked pretty damn good.
Why does a dock master check wander out onto the docks? To be amongst his piers.
Hey guys, check this one out
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