My missus asked Siri. "Surely it's not going to rain today?"
Siri said "Yes it will rain, and don't call me Shirley".
I think she forgot to take her phone off Airplane mode.
He's surely gotten a head of himself, hasn't he? 🤔
I had to get those bags of heroin out of my rectum, or they would surely burst.
It was a poo or die situation.
With recent political developments, the world with surely fall into...
Kid: Surely You cant be serious
Dad: I am being serious and don't call me shirley
Surely, you can finish this joke for me...
If avocados were to have a serious recall, it would surely be the end..
It would be.. the a-guac-alypse.
Surely other Dads have dropped this zinger.
Dad: Whatcha reading?
Me: Reddit
Dad: Why you readin it if you already reddit?
Two atoms walk into a bar, one says to the other “Dang, I left my electrons in the car.” The other replies, “Are you sure?”
Aro sure he can see where he’s going?
With the holidays near, to set a festive atmosphere at your table, be sure you have a shiny chrome plate to hold your condiment sauce. Why?
Because there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
I went to my doctor today and told him I was having problems with my hearing. He asked, “Can you describe the symptoms?” I replied, "Sure..."
“They’re yellow, Homer’s fat, and Marge has blue hair.”
I'm thinking about buying a new mattress, but I'm not sure.
I think I'll sleep on it.
An atom called the cops to report he had an electron stolen. The cop asked, "Are you sure?"
And the atom replied, "I'm positive!"
I was so sure my new hire was Spider-Man
Because his resume said he was a web designer.
Dwayne Johnson is a really nice guy, so he always makes sure he's as close to the wall as possible...
He hates putting anyone between The Rock and a hard place.
Those Duke boys sure do like to jump their car over things...
... General Lee speaking.
Did you hear about the queen who wasn’t sure how long she had ruled for?
An electrician asks if I could hand him his step ladder. I said sure no problem.
He said “Thanks! I never knew my real ladder.”
I used to be so confused about everything but now I'm not sure.
Dad, are you sure this is the way to London?
My dad went to the store to buy milk, i said “sure, old man” and he said “im not good at comebacks”
Found it on facebook. Nor sure if it was posted here before
You know, I'm sure wherever my Dad is right now, he's looking down on me..
He's not dead by the way, just very condescending.
My dad (67) just sent this to me. It's literally a dad joke. Some of us might not get it though I'm sure.
What does the Pink Panther say when he knocked over an ant hill?
Dead ant... dead ant... dead ant dead ant dead ant... dead ant dead ant....
after the dam failed, the engineer thought he'd lost his job for sure
but at the performance review he was consoled by his boss, "it's all just water under the bridge"
I don't know what decisions the Supreme Court will make in 2021 but one thing is for sure...
I'm never sure if I like rocking chairs or not
I go back and forth on them
Joe sure is patient when it comes to waiting for the results of the election
All I hear is Joe Biden his time till the results are finalized!
Not sure if I should be proud of this
I went for an interview. They said, “Can you perform under pressure?”
I said “I’m not sure about that but I can have a good crack at Bohemian Rhapsody”
My Doctor told me that I may have a curvature of my upper back but he was not so sure.
They sure do know how to promote lol
As a short guy, I was completely sure there was nothing to be done about my height. I went to the doctor, turns out I had scoliosis.
Whenever my son has to make a picture for homework, I always make sure he signs his name last
Because Andrew is a lot shorter than Andrawing
They sure do know how to promote lol
I’d first like to make sure this thing is working. If your name is Michael, please stand up.
That concludes the mike check
would provide energy for sure
I'm pretty sure the milk I drank was expired.
If I ever go to jail I am making sure I get the nickname ‘mitochondria’
The powerhouse of the cell
Boy that car sure is tired!
Not sure if this board works out.
Not sure if this is too 15+ rated
When I was born, I sure was relieved
I was running out of womb.
I wasn't sure I like my new facial hair..
My landlord texted saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied back: “Sure, my door is always open.”
I'm not sure if my ceiling is the best i've ever had
but it's certainly up there.
I'm not sure why he's not looking at my mouth...
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to pee 2 spots away? We should call that "social pisstancing".
Be sure to use Pure L if you are unable to wash your hands!
If your vehicle breaks down in California, make sure your mechanic uses the state flag to check your oil ...
Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis"
The second meme I've ever made. Not sure if I should stick with it.
Communism sounds good on paper, but I'm not sure I'd trust it to work...
Just asked siri "Surely, it won't rain today?"
She replied "It certainly will, and don't call me Shirley."
Forgot i was on airplane mode.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
